To turn down a job when the interviewer talked solidly at me for 1.5 hours

[PeacockPalace]

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

I think so.

Why do people do this? The OP's already complained she couldn't get a word in and the bloke is now harassing her for the reason she turned it down yet you think she needs you to draft a message for her...

He sounds narcissistic best thing with men like that is stay on their good side. Even though you’re not working for him, I wouldn’t put it past him to stalk your linked in or make trouble for you with his network

Just reply to his email something like you can’t commit to the commute or hours or something has changed in your personal life ie make him feel it’s nothing to do with him
so he doesn’t go on a smear campaign

Please don’t give him feedback. It’s not womens responsibility to teach an adult man life skills. Don’t give him the tricks to dupe the next applicant. Anyone who applies needs to know he talks too much.

I wouldn’t waste your energy replying. The fact he is hounding you for an answer concludes the fact that he would be a self absorbed nightmare! I would have turned it down too.

Never ever wrong to turn down any job. Trust your gut! Why are you even asking?

Jeez! He sounds full of himself! Sounds like he is going to struggle to fill that vacancy.

Did he really not even ask you any questions at all. Like why you want the job or what your skills are?

I’m not doubting you, he sounds awful and I don’t blame you for turning it down. It’s just bizarre not to ask a prospective employee a single question.

Nutter. Right to turn it down and you owe him nowt further.

Agree the first post nailed it, you have dodged a bullet and that he give any indication he would accept or know what to do with honest feedback.

However, I do think @pouletvous’s question is genius, so I’d want to ask him that just to see what would happen.

Love this! The bloke sounds demented.

I agree.
He’s messaged you several times, you’ve got nothing to lose, just tell him you felt uncomfortable with how he didn’t let you speak.

He might learn something!

Ha! I've had interviewers like that - it seems to be a bug (though they'd probably call it a "feature") of the Y chromosome. I've also accepted a job, only to be told about a month later that he'd hired me because I reminded him of his wife when she was young. I went to lunch and didn't return. And I've been turned down for a couple of jobs in small family firms because the wives vetoed me. This was annoying at the time, though with the benefit of hindsight they may have been doing me a favour.

I'd have told him exactly why I turned it down when he'd asked. Say you didn't get a word in during your interview, he just talked at you, so you didn't get the chance to even work out if you were a good fit or not.

To be honest, it might be something he really needs to hear!

Why should she?

The man clearly has issues. Why should she contribute to his personal development?

Think you misunderstood. It’s clearly a joke!

i agree you did the right thing but you should have told him the truth:
”I could never work for a company whose owner suffers from excessive logorrhea.”
That should end the emails, too, I suspect.

Good point, be honest, see if he e-mails back, unlikely IMO as he sounds like an output valve that is just set to "On" all the time, a lot of people are like that, very draining to be around, only if it was remote working or you could otherwise get a break from him should you consider it.

@PeacockPalace Please do tell him - you’ve got nothing to lose. He sounds insufferable.

I blame smartphones myself, maybe the OP should buy this bloke a smartphone?

I would reply to the email just say you have thought it over and decided to stay where you are for the time being. And you don't think the job is for you. No point in telling him a few home truths but somebody probably should.

id just reply with

On reflection, I didn't think the interview process was very successful and therefore thought it best to decline the job. Wishing you all the best for the future and hope you are successful in your recruitment.

This will be the last email correspondence I send & therefore appreciate that this is the end of any corespondence.

kind regards

He’s repeatedly emailed her too. Some people are just dickheads.

Tell him the truth.