To turn down a job when the interviewer talked solidly at me for 1.5 hours

[PeacockPalace]

And wouldn’t let me get a word in edgeways? He is the company owner so I’d be working directly for him.

He literally talked at me for 90 minutes. If I tried to speak he just carried on talking. Even at the end where he asked me if I had any questions, I went to ask a question and he cut in, finished what he thought the question was going to be and carried on talking.

He offered me the job within an hour of finishing the interview but I couldn’t work for someone like that. I’d find it draining and probably never get listened to.

He then emailed me to ask why I’d turned it down and I said I don’t feel that the fit is there for me. So he then emailed me again asking me to elaborate and why isn’t the fit right. I didn’t reply and he’s messaged me another two times in two days asking the same.

AIBU for turning down the job? WIBU to just ignore his emails from now on, as I don’t think he’s the type of person that would value my feedback anyway?

I’ve seen he’s still advertising the job on Indeed so others must have felt the same.

Definitely leave well alone. You've declined, he needs to deal with that.

Is there any chance/risk that you'll need to work with or collaborate with him in the future? Some industries are very small ponds - if that's the case for you, I'd be very non-committal or say you've had a better/unbeatable offer, or that the situation at home has changed and you're no longer looking or are looking for something else.

If not, then just be honest. In a 90 minute interview you barely spent 5 minutes listening and that's not a dynamic I can work in.

I got offered a job with a company years ago where the interviewer, the MD, both bored me rigid and left me convinced I'd hate every decision he made and be unable to live with myself within 6 months. Never regretted turning him down.

Tell him.

I went for a similar interview. The boss told me everything about her company including breaking confidentiality about other interviewees. 🙄
She luckily did let me ask a question which was “what hours does the job involve” She had not put it in the advert - a vague “ full time - turns out that meant 45 starting at 7.30am,
I declined when she offered it. I think in her head she already given me the job based on my application. Which is great if you advertise the job properly. And tell thd candidate first that they are liable to get the role.

And now you know why he’s struggling to fill this vacancy. 😳

I’m afraid he sounds very likely to have powdered his nose beforehand. Talking at length, oblivious to others wishing to speak or just being unable to listen are clear indicators of being on the ol sniff.

I don’t think he was coked up, I think he is more like someone who loves the sound of his own voice.

I’ve had an interview like this, when I didn’t get to say a single word. Totally bizarre.

just copy/paste/add names 👍🏽

How could you possibly feel listened to or respected in such a role? He wants a robot, not an employee.

This would be my dream interview. I get so nervous! Someone talking at me for 90 minutes and then offering me the job sounds perfect lol

You don’t owe him an explanation and I can’t see any benefits to you of offering him one. And if he monologues for 90 minutes and asks four times for an explanation of why you turned the job down I think we can assume he’s not good at picking up social cues so your explanation probably wouldn’t help him!

Why not give him some honest feedback? It's not like you'd ever work with him or need to see him again, so why not? Might make him stop and think, even if he doesn't seem the type to.

Imagine the annual job appraisals.

lol what a plank!. I had a similar interview once. Many years ago. It was 45 mins of incessant talking about them (women in this instance). I could not get a word in so I just stood up, grabbed my things and walked out without saying a word.

He's chasing cos he knows there's a problem , and it won't just be you. Tell him. You're not going to work with him anyway, and you'll be doing him a huge favour.

I think you may have met my brother. He:s likely oblivious, will be deeply offended by any honest feedback and respond with a defensive monologue and try to blame it on you.

give honest feedback

please!

then block

this is common in small companies .

Ask him what it was you said at interview that made you feel you were suited to the role?

If you've nothing to lose, you could just tell him. 'Because you talked at me for 90 solid minutes and would not let me finish a single question. I can't work for someone who does that.' Might be quite satisfying.

Was it a sales company in the south west?

The first red flag was talking over you in the interview.
The second red flag is pursuing you for an explanation when you declined the job. One follow up email - fair enough. Four suggests he has no concept of boundaries or respect.

I'd be tempted to give him a no-holds barred explanation, but only because he really deserves to know what a pita he has been.

Small business owners can be a mare if there us no HR -avoid,
Imagine negotiating anything at all, time off, hours etc.
Is he also divorced?

100% agree-everyone can benefit from knowing their 'weaknesses' and especially if you'll never have to cross paths with him again!

You could tell him the truth, you've got nothing to lose.

Please email him and tell him exactly why. I would.