To be confused as to why hiring a cleaner is seen as an indulgence?

[Gahr]

This is something that I see time and again on this site, and it is SO WEIRD. People seem to think that it is the height of luxury to have a housecleaner, and also seem to be strangely apologetic about it, offering disclaimers as to why they need one. Also, I've noticed that on threads when someone has a problem with their cleaning service, they will get several posts telling them to 'clean their own house'. Nobody would tell someone to 'service their own boiler' or 'fix their own toilet'! I don't understand it at all. I have a cleaner and I wouldn't be without her.

For the last time, I do not have kids!
Honestly, I think I am starting to understand why so many people on this thread have been so cranky, I think all the childcare is exhausting them. Which surely proves my point even more that household help is not really a profligate luxury akin to holiday at a seven star resort.

Everyone in my circles would get absolutely roasted for paying someone else to do basic DIY. Most of my friends have some connection to tradespeople, or are builders themselves.

This thread is less about cleaning, and much more about you not being able to understand that other people think differently from you and have different priorities. It sounds like you don’t really mix with a broad range of people.

Are you joking? Try working 12hr shifts for the NHS
And theres plenty of other jobs where no you can't just pop the washing machine on, because of the antisocial hours
Or maybe if you do get time to put a wash on it will be sonething else you can't do.
I think its a luxury to have a job with consistent socially acceptable hours

Im replying to the wind up OP questioning why I would be doing laundry/dishwasher at 6am. Believe me I understand antisocial hours from my DH’s work.

The whole thread is a giant wind up!

I’m still working, although I’m beyond retirement age now, and generally start at 9 am, as I’ve done for most of my working life. But even when my daughter was young and I did the school run every morning, I never got up at 6! When she was at primary school we got up at 8, and at 7.30 once she had a much longer journey to secondary school. There was never a need to be up so early.

Are you new to Mumsnet OP? This is AIBU - what did you expect! Especially as you’re being super goady.

Maybe but I do think that cleaners are definitely a necessity in lots of peoples lives. Especially if you are working antisocial hours, are disabled, have multiple kids or disabled kids etc etc
There's many reasons where it might not be a luxury but something that is necessary

And there’s many people who don’t t fit any of the criteria you just described and could clean themselves but choose not to. So are able to spend money on a cleaner. So not a necessity, therefore an indulgence

Some strange comments.

Assuming no back story, agree a dishwasher and washing machine can be easily emptied/run before work.

Cleaning up as you go eg after a bath, cooking maintains things on an everyday basis.

Again assuming no back story, anyone can clean to a ‘high standard’ including older DC (teens).

I do agree people who clean should earn a fair wage, but it’s not a a skilled trade with qualifications, like a plumber or electrician.

It would be a luxury to employ a tradesperson to fix your boiler only if you had those skills yourself, but decided to pay someone else instead.

Oh dear.

Yes, I keep telling her the same thing but she feels sorry for him as he is disabled. Though it does annoy her that he spends nearly his entire benefits on drugs or cigarettes. But she is a sweet lady and is almost motherly towards him so keeps trying to help him out. She says though she wouldn’t be surprised if she turns up and he has OD’ed!

That's awful that he exploits her that way. What a loser.

Haha wtf are you going on about now?!

explaining basic budgeting to my 10 year old has been easier than explaining it to you. Lacking a lot of comprehension aren’t you, throughout this thread.

Well it is not like he doesn’t do anything. He unloads and re-loads the dishwasher daily after dinner and does the bins weekly. He is quite tidy as a person so really doesn’t make much of a mess. Put his clothes in the laundry basket and once washed and folded he puts them away. He irons his own clothes and does help with school picks up and drops one day a week. And does the kids weekend activities on his weekends off. But he doesn’t want to scrub a bathroom or hoover the house after working two weeks in a row. I think that’s fair. You might not. Also he isn’t expecting me to do it either. He is happy for someone to get paid a fair wage to do it so that we have that time off to relax and spend time as a family. Would I rather we didn’t pay a cleaner so we both could clean on the weekends?! No way! I use that time to pursue my hobby which is cooking/baking exotic new dishes. I am not interested in cleaning the house any more than he is.

It depends on how busy you are, when you start work and what you choose or need to fit in before work.
If you only had one child and started work relatively late, had less chores to do first thing, because you only had one child, there may have been no need to get up earlier. Other people have lots of DC, start work at 8am so obviously need to leave the house earlier, try to fit in chores or exercise beforehand.
It's not hard to imagine that other people have busier or different lives and therefore need to behave differently!

I'm on the verge of hiring a cleaner for a deep clean once a week. Not loaded, comfortable. But I'm 52 and struggling with all the nooks and crannies these days. I clean my kitchen and bathroom all the time but I fucking hate floors, windows, skirting, kitchen cabinets, fucking mind numbing dusting, under the bed, sofa etc. never thought I would be like this. In my 20s/30s I did a massive house clean every Sunday, seven loads of washings, windows, everything, often with a hangover! I just don't have the energy or the push anymore. Plus with perimenopause I actually forget to do things! Really weird. I am starting to think it's a necessity not a luxury!

@Gahr is clearly just here to wind people up so is best ignored. No one could genuinely be stupid enough to not understand why some people consider a cleaner to be a luxury, especially after it has been explained by 100s of posters.

That sounds much more normal, glad for you.

We pay £20 an hour for three hours a week .

I lessen food budget social budget to be able to afford it . It’s definitely not unskilled or cheap .

I’m 💯 with you OP. I always had a cleaner when I lived in cities. I live in a holiday destination and I can’t hire one … cleaners only want to clean holiday homes/airbnb’s. There’s more money and zero interaction…so I don’t blame them. I’ve been cleaning my own house now for eight years and I hate it 😂 I clean a room a day for an hour. That’s the only way I can face it! Having said that given how long I had cleaners in London and NY, my places were never really clean how I’d like them to be … cleaners only ever keep to their routine. They don’t pull things out,
clean out the kitchen units, bins etc. My moving out cleans always took me days and days and showed me just how much is missed when we outsource it …

Oh I miss the laughing emoji.

You're entitled because you thinking you don't want to do something means that it's absolutely essential you pay someone else to do it for you.

Read this very carefully: no one CARES that you have a cleaner or that you don't want to clean. You asked why people think it's a luxury. People told you that it's a luxury because it is possible for you to do it yourself (no one said you have to, just that it's a thing you're physically capable of doing) AND that financially it's out of reach for many. People are now attacking you because you're refusing to accept that this is the truth for them.

Again. No-one is judging your choice. Just your attitude.

Do you work full time? What hours do you work? How many children do you have? Would you think it appropriate to call all people who work part time lazy by the same logic?!

but you aren’t happy with friends and fulfilling life @Tollington . Pretty sure I can guarantee that!

I work part-time, i.e. have a day off in the week. I consider myself very lucky. I also clean my own home as I have the time and keep on top of everything (2 kids). DH works very long hours including some weekends. I see it as my job to do more at home as he does more at work (and still lots at home too when off).

If I employed a cleaner whilst he works full time, I would expect to be judged on that.

2 full time working parents employing a cleaner definately ‘seems’ less of a luxury, but it is still a luxury. Millions and millions manage without one.

That’s the point of the thread though - a cleaner is pretty much a luxury for all (unless disabled and essential- already covered in thread).