To be confused as to why hiring a cleaner is seen as an indulgence?

[Gahr]

This is something that I see time and again on this site, and it is SO WEIRD. People seem to think that it is the height of luxury to have a housecleaner, and also seem to be strangely apologetic about it, offering disclaimers as to why they need one. Also, I've noticed that on threads when someone has a problem with their cleaning service, they will get several posts telling them to 'clean their own house'. Nobody would tell someone to 'service their own boiler' or 'fix their own toilet'! I don't understand it at all. I have a cleaner and I wouldn't be without her.

....yes. Eating out at restaurants is a huge luxury for many people. Same as takeaways, grabbing a takeaway coffee etc.

That's my point, though, isn't it!? That while some might see the restaurant as a luxury, people don't jump on a thread about a restaurant and tell the OP to cook their own food! Do you really not get that? Good lord.

Oh there’ll be threads out there where some loons do say this.

Fact is - now’t to be confused about.

I'm sorry but grabbing a takeaway coffee is not a 'huge luxury for many people'. I don't know why people insist that this site skews wealthy, it clearly does not if that is what people are insisting is the height of luxury. People are talking as if 'luxury' merely means 'non essential', which I don't think is the true meaning.

It is not to me and you @Gahr

It will be for some

i going to guess you don’t have children and you’re retired? Or don’t work?

I don't think you live in the real world, tbh.

I got a takeaway coffee on my way home from work this morning, it cost me about £4 for a basic latte with vanilla syrup.

That is absolutely a luxury for lots of people - if you can't see that then you're either incredibly privileged or a bit dim, I'm not sure which.

I am not retired. I do not have children. Perhaps having children is what should be considered a 'luxury' as it seems to mean that nobody has any spare money whatsoever. I do sometimes wonder about that, on this site. People say they are skint and then they have three or more children. Perhaps they couldn't really afford to have them.

Do you work?

Yes, of course I work! I am 42.

Children are a massive luxury IMO. One of the (many) reasons I don't have them is because I don't want to sacrifice my current lifestyle to raise them.

Well, then, you and I agree on something.

Ok so high earning? Substantially above average?

because I am. And I recognise this fact. And so it helps me not to be “confused” about things like this

Not willing to admit that you can understand how a cleaner isn't essential for the majority of people though?

I agree that having a cleaner is a luxury in so far as it is something that you need to have a reasonably good income to afford. But much of the objection is rooted in misogyny. I had a cleaner when I was working and was on the receiving end of lots of disapproval, mainly from other women. I am more or less certain that had DH been on his own, or in a single sex relationship nobody would have batted an eyelid if he had employed domestic help. And nobody ever criticised him for the fact that we had a cleaner, that was obviously all my evil doing! Nobody rolled their eyes and asked him if he thought he was above ironing his own clothes. It is deeply ingrained in our society that domestic tasks like cleaning and ironing are women's work. Never mind if you are the main earner in the family and working iong hours in a role that benefits many other people, if you aren't cleaning your own loo then you are a lazy, good for nothing slob and a failure as a woman. Because that's how we judge women unfortunately, even now.

God honestly, the worthy hand wringing on here sometimes is incredible.

I would say above average yes. I'm not wealthy, though, and I would be even less so if I had children. I don't get why it is ok to tsk tsk about 'luxury' when it comes to someone doing something to make their life easier, and not when it comes to having children that they can't truly afford. That's maybe the nub of this, when I come to think of it. That deep down, a lot of people think that the only real aim of women should be to reproduce.

Exactly.

I would love a cleaner but can't afford one so I do think it's a luxury.

Equally I generally go on multiple holidays a year - those are luxuries too. I could stop the holidays and pay for a cleaner instead but I've chosen the holidays.

I wouldn't expect anyone to explain their reasoning for hiring a cleaner - if I could afford the holidays AND a cleaner I would definitely have both. It does tend to bring to mind a certain lifestyle though which is why most people consider it an indulgence.

Oh

We’re going deeeeeeep

I will leave you to it!

Financially, these days, it is indeed a luxury to have children.

However, the human race would survive without employable cleaners. It wouldn't without children.

(Whether it should survive is another discussion)

Of the remaining jobs your cleaner does not do @Gahr , do you split equally with your partner?

More or less, yes. I do cooking, he does laundry although the cleaner mostly does that, as well. He cleans up after I cook, so we're even. We both hate housework, hence the cleaner.

So you can afford one, but don’t see it as important as a holiday. It’s all about choice.

We both have what I consider good jobs but everything costs so much at the moment we are certainly in no position to be able to afford a cleaner so yes I consider it an unaffordable luxury.

We had a male cleaner long ago, he was good and had a lot of clients. We moved away from that area and our cleaner is now female. But there are male cleaners, and they do a pretty good job!