School run perfunctory smile

[iThinkYouAreWonderful]

So, I live in a small neighbourhood. I work from home so I do the school run everyday. Morning and Afternoon.

During the school run, I walk past neighbours and other parents that I have had limited interactions with. I think they are OK, but we're not friends. We've chatted for 5 minutes here and there, but not much to say.

But I KEEP bumping into them. Multiple times a day or week. And there is only one sensible route to school.

What do people do in this situation? Just keeping making a perfunctory smile? I've had a couple of people start to just walk right past and pretend not to see me. Some look down at the floor, mobile phones, some just stare straight ahead. (the pavement is narrow, no getting away). I find it rude when people you've chatted to from time to time just start to completely ignore you. It just seems really rude. I find it hard to do that.

But equally this fake acknowledgement smile feels, well fake. What do other people do please.

Question: Can I just walk past neighbours, parents in my kids class, etc multiple times a day and not acknowledge that we know each other?

How do other people cope?!

Just say "Morning!" give a smile, and carry on, surely?

Oh yes I find these weird smiles and hellos so awkward, especially when you go to say hello and they blank you despite previously chatting.

Ive also found that certain parents don’t acknowledge me on the school grounds, but then if I were to see them in Tescos they smile say hello and ask me how I am. But then back to blanking me on the school run. I would prefer not to be acknowledged at all in this instance where I don’t know what to expect each time I see them. The best situation was a mum from the school run who I had known from my own school days who blanked me whenever she saw me. That’s fine. I then went on holiday to Devon (about 200 miles from where I live) and I ran into her at a tourist spot. She literally leaped into my path, talked non-stop at me for about half an hour asking about people we both knew from school, how my kids were getting on with school etc. She re-introduced me to her mum who I hadn’t seen since the 80s and we reminisced about life back then. I then ran into her about two weeks later on the school run and she blanked me again

I saw the same mum most mornings on the school run after talking once for 5 mins a year ago. One day she smiled and said hello and it broke the ice. Now we both wave, say a cheery hello and how are you. I value those little friendly interactions. It feels genuine, not uncomfortable at all. Ps. I don't even know her name

this is sooo sad.
there is a neighbour 3 doors on the left from mine. Her kids go to the same school as mine, that is a 5 mins walk around Tue corner. She has never acknowledge me, if we end up in front of each other on the walk away she looks on the floor. I tried a Hi or good morning a few times, no response. I stopped as I feel silly. Our kids do an after school club together (they are in different years) once a week and even while waiting outside she avoids me. My daughter say her son in the same after school club ignores her in the club and around the school. Ofc my life goes on anyway, but it feels me of sadness not even an hi, good morning etc.

I also live in a small village and a lot might not agree. But if I know them I will say good morning etc . Other wise I walk past I find it annoying saying a fake hello how are you 50 times a day

If I know people or have chatted before, I say morning. Even if its someone who I've seen regularly nlbut not necessarily chatted to. My dd is in yr3 and I've honestly found one person I would call a friend from the school run, and I consider myself a friendly, easy to approach person. There are a few I would consider acquaintances. Force the issue by saying morning. If people regularly don't respond, just don't bother.

There are some people I've walked past every day for 3 years, said hi and they ignore, so I just don't bother with them.

A stranger is just a friend you havent met!!!!
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Only joking...
Eye contact, hi and a quick smile does the job

I seem to be in the minority but for me the school run is like a commute - there’s an unwritten rule that we don’t chat on the train/bus on the way to work right? The walk to school feels the same.

I would smile/say “morning” if we made eye contact, but I think it’s totally fine to also fine to be in your own world. I’m always happy to have a chat but also saying hi twice a day to someone I vaguely new once seems a bit daft.

The option you haven’t mentioned is a real smile? No faking required. Just smile and say hello!

I'd just smile and say morning even if they had heads down, then walk on.

I say “Morning!” Or similar. If we’re them every day you might progress onto a comment about the weather or small talk. There are a couple of elderly ladies we pass every morning and they have seen my pregnancy bump, pram etc with second baby and love it when DS2 waves at them.

I don't think a smile is fake I think it's polite. I used to smile on the school run but school dads/male staff got the wrong end of the stick and some women seemed to hate me as in glare with disgust for years, never say hello back. I heard in Eastern Euro culture smiling as you go about your day is considered stupid and fake and in Tamil/Middle Eastern culture seems like you're easy or looking to be chatted up... my DC was in diverse school and some British white as well as those other cultural backgrounds seemed to be really taken back or offended that I smile and say Good morning. I know I sound like I must be crazy walking with a joker smile but I have normal teeth and smile. It's funny because I started smiling more as people used to say I looked angry or anxious.. and now people seemed to be pissed that I'm smiling or think I'm flirting ffs!
You can't win! Some people will just never like you, now I mirror others energy blanking those who blank me.

The worst part is those who stare watch you walking but dont say hello or nod or smile, just stare. For 6 years, just stare. Weirdos

That must make you feel so uncomfortable @SwayingPalm . I had no idea that a simple, friendly smile could have a negative reaction and what you’ve observed makes me feel sad.

Sorry but if multiple people have started to ignore you I’d assume you are being too intense in how you are acknowledging them, they obviously feel some pressure like you are going to try and initiate a conversation as most people aren’t going to go out of their way to avoid having to smile and carry on. A smile to give brief acknowledgement is all that’s required even if you are seeing them every day, there is no need for it ever to become more than that with most people, certainly no need to try and engage in small talk.

You just sound rude. Smile, be polite and set a good example to your children of how to be courteous.

If you can be bothered to search for it (I can't find it at the moment, sorry), there's a guy on Instagram who has a 'tutorial' on how to make what he calls the National Face for situations like this

I can sort of relate to this. I had lived in a major city for all my adult life until moving to a very friendly, family focussed area in the suburbs of a smaller city.

It took me a while to get used to what you’re describing. I’m not unfriendly or rude but I’d become used to the anonymity that a big city brings, especially when you don’t have kids.

Getting used to paying more attention to who I’m passing in the street rather than being in my own head while moving around felt like a draining intrusion at times.

But, I got used to it and really enjoy being part of a community again. I think it’s a much healthier and more grounded way to live.

There's no requirement to stop and chat. I do a quick smile and say "alright?" without slowing down or maintaining eye contact for more than a few seconds and they do likewise. For the ones I actually like, we might stop for an actual chat maybe once a fortnight. The ones who are actively ignoring you are probably worried that you are going to try to engage them in conversation so a full-speed flyby with cheery greeting will reassure them.

Just a little 'morning' as you pass.

Crikey, your brain works overtime doesn’t it

Like others have said: smile, probably say "Morning," carry on walking.

It doesn't matter whether they respond or not. Maybe they're busy or distracted. If they never respond at all, then I would drop the "Morning," but keep the smile. It costs nothing and makes people think you're friendly.

It's no more fake than any other social interaction.

Source: am autistic and have spent considerable time observing what is considered normal/friendly on the school run.

Try stop stalking me, you weirdo

I’d always normally say morning or smile. However, sometimes I’m in a world of my own and have defo walked past people without doing anything accidentally (I have 2 under 2 and sometimes by 3pm I’m barely conscious)

I work at my child's school so know loads of the kids and parents. When I'm heading round to the playground to pick him up, I get several hellos between the car and the classroom so I always say hello back, give them a smile and stop for a chat if they do. Makes my day! 😀