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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School run perfunctory smile

54 replies

iThinkYouAreWonderful · 31/01/2026 08:11

So, I live in a small neighbourhood. I work from home so I do the school run everyday. Morning and Afternoon.

During the school run, I walk past neighbours and other parents that I have had limited interactions with. I think they are OK, but we're not friends. We've chatted for 5 minutes here and there, but not much to say.

But I KEEP bumping into them. Multiple times a day or week. And there is only one sensible route to school.

What do people do in this situation? Just keeping making a perfunctory smile? I've had a couple of people start to just walk right past and pretend not to see me. Some look down at the floor, mobile phones, some just stare straight ahead. (the pavement is narrow, no getting away). I find it rude when people you've chatted to from time to time just start to completely ignore you. It just seems really rude. I find it hard to do that.

But equally this fake acknowledgement smile feels, well fake. What do other people do please.

Question: Can I just walk past neighbours, parents in my kids class, etc multiple times a day and not acknowledge that we know each other?

How do other people cope?!

OP posts:
Uppitymuppity · 01/02/2026 23:39

I always just used to say hello and walk on, unless of course we did have a chat. Luckily I don't have to do the school run anymore as my dc have left primary.

ThestoriesIcouldtellyou · 02/02/2026 06:34

I'm on my tenth year of the school run (damn you, four year age gap). Live in a small place where everyone knows everyone. My technique is to machine gun smiles and good mornings at absolutely everyone I e seen before, even if I seem like a nutter, and I get in first to get it over with. Very freeing to just always do it and not be too selective.

Fireflybaby · 02/02/2026 07:24

I dont get it, this is a social world. You dont have to be friends with anyone who you meet but why do you approach this as a fake smile and acknowledge? Why not a sincere one?
You smile can say "hey, I see you and I know we're both busy loving our lives so here's a smile for you to know you have been aknowledged" and then move on with your life until the next day.
You are only responsible for your own actions and interactions and not other's.
You dont have to make friends with anyone, being sincere and polite is a different kettle of fish.
I was th e same when I used to do the school run, a short eye contact and a smile was almost always received the same way. I never made friends with any parents or neighbours, but I never looked grumpy or unhappy when I passed them.
Keep it positive. Be yourself. You're an adult. Make your choices.

RosieRR · 02/02/2026 16:23

Omg this drives me nuts. I live in a small village on a street where parents park their cars at school drop off and pickup times. The majority will do their utmost not to even catch your eye! I find it so rude. How hard is it to smile and say hello? Most older folk do but not the younger ones.
I feel for you OP not knowing what to do. Just be yourself, it is their loss.

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