To think my Grammar School DD 2 with an IQ of 119 should be aiming for at least Grade 7's in all her GCSE subjects.

[redange]

My DD'2 is currently in the process of choosing her GCSE options for next year year 10 and at a Girls Grammar School in Essex. However, I am seriously upset with her attitude at the moment regarding what she thinks grades she should be achieving at the end of year 11. The, schools expectations are grade 7 and above for all subjects . The, other problem is because DD is in year 9 she obviously did not do her SATS at 11 so I have no predicted pathway to convince her. DD'2 has convinced herself, she will only be capable of at best 'all' grade 5's at end of year 11 despite having a decent IQ of 119. For, the record DD 1 IQ is 122 and she is expected to get between 6- 8 GCSE's at 9 and the others at 7/8.
Am I reasonable to think she is just being lazy, or is she suffering from a little bit of confidence, due to 'impostor' syndrome and her sisters likely results. I have looked at various sources online, which suggest that with a good study ethos her grades should not be hugely dissimilar to DD 1's. There, are also a couple of 'rebels' who are friends of hers playing up at school currently, for which the school believe is year 9 blues..

You are being very unreasonable for being such a pushy, cold parent.

For reference my IQ is around the same as your daughters and I got B/As in my GCSEs. IQ doesn’t always equal better results.

Sounds like she’s under confident but pushing her too much could cause her to crack. It’s a hard one between reach her potential and not putting too much pressure on. Keep reassuring she’s capable should try her best and you will be proud not matter her grade as long as she gives it a good shot

It doesnt matter what she thinks she’ll get in year 9.

My DD had to set her personal expectations in year 9. Her teachers also had to record her attainment target based on current performance. My DD went low, her teachers went high as they have years of experience under their belt and my DD was just being conservative.

For example, my DD predicted herself a 6 for English literature. Her teacher set her 8. She actually achieved a 9.

Once they get into year 11 they really start pushing themselves and the school is all over it. You are needlessly worrying about this way too early.

Why didn't she sit her year 6 sats, if she's currently in year 9 then she should have done that. My son is currently in year 10 and he sat his year 11 SATs only 2 year groups didn't sit them - the year group that have just left and the current year 11's!

Grammar school child. Those who get into grammar schools tend to have the ability to get 7s at GCSE.

So you want her to be at school 8 hours a day and then do 2 hours a night homework on top of that every night - that's absolutely crazy! My child is in a school where they send a lot of kids to Oxbridge and they do no where near that much homework every night. When does she get to relax and just be herself or socialise?

My DD is year 9 at a selective private school and honestly GCSE grades have not even been mentioned yet - I'm not sure why you're so obsessed with them.

My elder two are through GCSEs (state if that makes a difference) and other than getting them to the next stage noone has ever been remotely bothered about what they got other than over competitive parents who want to compare.

I have no idea what any of their IQ's are - how do you even find out?!

Half way through year 9 is very early to be thinking about predicted grades. IQ won’t really come into things either.
In terms of choosing GCSE options - of which there aren’t that many because most subjects are compulsory, and the remaining few will have some restrictions, eg at least one of history/geography etc- she should just choose subjects she enjoys (assuming she doesn’t perform terribly in those subjects).

You need to chill out. If she’s performed well academically so far, that’s likely to continue as long as she puts the work in. If she’s been average, she’ll probably continue to be average. If you fear she has some friends leading her down the wrong path then have a talk to her about that.

My youngest is year 10 and worrying she won’t pass - she’s predicted 7s! I’ve decided to ignore grades and focus on encouraging her to learn the work and try her best then just see what happens.

It’s not really relevant but why didn’t she do SATS? My DD is y9 and her cohort all did their SATS @redange

I agree with others that IQ score is not really relevant.

What is the school predicting for her GCSEs? Their expectations I presume are general rather than specific?

She could well be managing your expectations and fearing not doing as well as others in her class or her sibling.

I would sit with her and have a chat about what she wants to do going forward. A leves? Degree? Specific career? Depending on that it might be worth showing her that working hard at her GCSEs will be of benefit.

Whatever at least one PP says, if she gets all 5s she is unlikely to do well at A level, sorry; colleges and sixth forms will often be happy with a grade 6 in an A level subject (often 7 for some such as science, maths and MFL) but not 5.

But OTOH grade 5s at GCSE can lead to a college course which may be what she would rather do. Is her school quite high pressure? Is she feeling that and reacting against it? Or is she genuinely out of her depth?

I think the first thing to do is ease off the HW pressure and talk to her about her hopes and plans. If she wants to study medicine she will need higher grades. But there are lots of other avenues which don't need all 7s 8s and 9s.

ETA: I meant to say, if she passed to go to the grammar school, she is clearly able. That probably means she has the basic ability to gain high GCSE grades – but she has to have the confidence and also the will to do it. Your job here is to encourage that if you can.

You need to calm down and certainly not push her to do a set time of homework a night. Just tell her to get the work school set done, study for each test, take each day by day. Education is a marathon not a sprint and the start of GCSEs is a time to put in place good habits and not overwork her.

Our selective grammar school focuses on attitude not results. If you have a good attitude, work hard do your best the results will follow. It's not helpful to be thinking I have to get all 7s or all 9s. Just work hard do your best.

Getting your children's IQ assessed and using it to tell them what they should achieve in their GCSE's sounds like a lot of pressure is being put on them.
How was is assessed? There is a lot of criticism around IQ tests and it only assesses one type of intelligence. IQ isn't going to be a solid indication of how someone will do in their GCSE's, especially those subjects outside of STEM.

An IQ of 119 isn't that super stellar is it?
Everyone in my family's is over 140 and not one of us got all 9's or A's at GCSE/O level.
Several went on to get PhD's.
Leave the poor girl alone.
Give her space to grow.

Exactly this. Poor girl. Boost her confidence in anyway necessary and take the pressure off. You're making her life a misery for something that in the greater scheme of things is not the be all and end all.
An IQ of 119/120 is great but not amazing. She won't necessarily find all the learning easy, may struggle anyway with the academic pressure and being in the shadow of her sister.
Think about her welfare before her results.

WHat on Earth

a) that’s a mediocre IQ to brag about
b) she’s a child leave her be. She shouldn’t even need to know her IQ
c) my son was IQ tested at school, was genius apparently (!) and left school with no qualifications
d) teens are generally unmotivated when they are an average teen. They just are. It’s ok. They are kids.

Edit, wrong thread.

It sounds to me like you are putting way too much pressure on her at year 9.

For the record my DS is in a Grammar too, he's in year 11 and his mock grades were between a 3 and a 7. He did zero, and I mean zero revision.

He knows he needs to step it up a bit, but we have taken all pressure off. He does not want to stay in 6th form as the subjects are so traditionally academic & he is not! he's very outdoorsy. He knows what course he wants to do in a college (T Level) & also knows he only needs 4 GCSEs at grade 4 or above so there is very little pressure on him.

Maybe see what she wants to do in the future and see what she needs to get there. Not everyone at a Grammar has to go to university.

How strange to mention a child's I.Q. (Was it MENSA tested?)

100 is average, so 119 is not genius level. Mine is 145 but it doesn't make me particularly well-educated, just logical.

Ha. Exactly the same!

for me IQ testing is just pattern finding which I’m extremely good at.

it doesn’t mean anything much I’m sure of it

IQ will not determine grades. To get good grades, you also need to be able to digest, grasp, retain and then remember information. Not just problem solve. Good grades also requires application and effort. And some confidence.
Avoid comparing with other children and siblings. She will not do well if she feels her sister has already got that accolade of being ‘the achiever’. She will be seeking albeit subconsciously a different thing to excel at. Which could be being bad. It gets attention just as much.
Your daughter is unique. To herself. She is not her sister. They will be entirely different. Develop her character. Which is more than school grades. Develop her confidence which sounds as if it is in need of some boosting.
And encourage too, your older daughter to respect the younger. Lest older thinks she is the bees knees and younger sibling less in so many ways. That thinking will go on into adulthood.

IQ is NOT a measure of what you can achieve at school.

I have an IQ of 138 and got 2B's, 7C's & a D.. simply because i do not cope well in Exams... my coursework carried me and the two B's were my favourite subjects. (i'm also AuDHD which was missed at school and not diagnosed til an adult)

What you need to be focusing on is instilling some confidence in your DD to have faith in her own strengths and abilities.

Exactly.

Firstly try to stop comparing your daughters. Secondly, convert these numbers to the letters we sat our GCSE’s at. A 7 is an ‘A’. I know I went to a very good grammar school, however I didn’t come out with straight A’s. If you got straight A’s, that is great. However, asking that of your daughter is a lot of pressure. 4-6 is B-C, I don’t think that’s a bad aim as a bottom end