DH was away for a week

[Betteroffalone88]

And it was the easiest week i've had in a long time

We have been in a rocky place for a while. Constantly bickering, me being moaned at for just about everything I do. Nothing I do is ever right etc etc

Two children aged 10 and 5. Even they said it was a relief he was away

If I finished work at 5:02pm no moaning about how I was late and should log off dead on 5

No moaning about how I make a mess of the bathroom (I don't) but he can't seem to grasp i have longer hair than him so take longer

No being moaned at or told what I can or can't wear

No being moaned at for not paying him attebtion when trying to work but when i try and talk to him when hes on the phone I get told to be quiet

No moaning about how I walk or am occasionally clumsy (accidently knocked a show off the rack earlier, would have thought I'd hit him or something for the amount of moaning about that)

No moaning if I let the kids have a biscuits before dinner when i'm trying to juggle working and the hour between school pick uo and logging off

This means its over doesn't it

Bin him, do your homework into finances if needed, and legal advice.
Don't waste yours or your kids lives on this abject waste of space

Well it definitely doesn’t sound like he makes your life better in any way whatsoever. What a miserable boring bastard.

Well, you're quite obviously happier without him.

Seems like this has been the wake up call you needed.

If that’s honestly what he does then your husband is a controlling prick. I’d probably class that as abusive. Even your children are relieved he’s not in the house. I hope he doesn’t treat them the same way, though it can’t be nice for them watching their mum getting treated like shit by their miserable father

I hope so. Good luck with this phase.... it'll be tough, but worth it 💐

He sounds abusive. Telling you what to wear ffs!?

Does he bring anything positive to the family dynamic?
Only you can judge if it's enough to balance the negativity.
If not, move on.

Honestly, not really. Really struggling to see what he contributes as while he was away the house still ran, the washing was done. We were all clothed and fed. House is still standing and probably tidier than it was before he went.

Maybe not over - but most deffo up for a talk. You could even tell him what you've told us if brave! Prob end up in a fight though.

Try talk to him, see if he can stop blooming moaning at you and trying to manage your every move.

I had a similar revelation when my ex H took himself off somewhere in a huff. It was actually mind blowing how immediately me and the dc felt relaxed and fell into our own comfortable routine, things ran smoothly and everything was calmer and tidier and I was doing everything anyway so we barely noticed things were different, except the peace. I just hadn’t realised what a dark cloud he forced us to live under. Check out entitledto to see what financial support you could get and get rid of him for good.

You have had a taste of a better future - end it and live your life complaint free.

I was hmmm until he moans about what you wear. I mean I will tell my wife if something has a mark on she's not noticed or muds splashed up her leg...but dictating what you wear? Think about that for a mo... controlling what you wear.

Expecting attention when you are busy...
Moaning about your walk...my wife's pigeon toed on her left foot, I find it cute!

My best friend took her kids on holiday on her own during the half term when her husband couldn't get the annual leave and that was the catalyst to her filing for divorce. They had the BEST time without him!!!! Life's too short.

Probably also worth mentioning he has been in a bad mood since he got in.

He qas messaging me on the train and I didn't see his last message as walked away from my phone (must have left my WhatsApp open) so it was 30 minutes until I actually saw it. When I said this he called me a lair as whatsapp recorded it being read as the time he sent it

He then moaned that when we went to pick the children up, youngest was playing on some equipment after the door for eldest classroom opened - eldest knows we are normally by the equipment and comes over and both are in sight at all times

He then complained that he had to cook dinner after travelling back from his course (had 2 hour nap on the train) and wanted dinner for just after 5...I don't finish until 5 so can't start before that

He's only been home since 3pm

Domestic abuse isn’t always violence

You have been given the gift of a glimpse in to the future without him. Grab the future and be happy, we only have one life..

Is there anything positive keeping you there? Would you be able to manage financially without him? (not that that's a reason to stay with him but its often a reason why many put up with knobheads for so long)

We all moan, we all have bad sides/ days etc etc, and your kids are young so you’re in the exhausting phase, for both of you. I suppose it comes down to if you ever have good days together, if you miss why you got together etc. There’ll be people on mn who tell you they have it much easier since they binned their ex, but the week you had isn’t what you will have if you’re broken up, not just money, but having the kids, splitting the house, then the actuality of not having him there at all. Only you know if that’s what you’re willing to do or if there’s hope for you as a couple

Yeah it's time for this to end. Reading your OP made me feel tired of it. Been there before. Time to move on op x

You deserve better, your children definitely deserve better. They deserve growing up with a Mum who is happy x

Get your ducks in a row then tell him to leave, Neither you nor the children should be having their lives ruined by a miserable abusive bastard of a man.

I agree with @sharkstale - just reading your post made me tired of all his moaning.

I remember having a bit of positive feeling a few times when DH was away when DD was between 5 and 10 but it was just a bit of novelty on my side. It was mostly about less cooking and being able to keep a strict routine. DH wasn’t good with routine. However I was super excited to see him back on Friday and missed him a lot in reality.
However I’m not suprised you’ve had better life without your DH - he sounds very unpleasant towards you and DC.

I felt quite angry at your post! Mines now an ex. So many things I can do without getting moaned at?! It was a long and difficult road. But worth it.

Well, if life already feels less pleasant for him being back, what's he there for?