Bitchy e-mail re fertility rates for older women

[Jude03]

AIBU to feel upset after receiving an e-mail from a friend - who thought it would be "helpful" to send some data on declining fertility rates for women... for me to give my 40 year old daughter ?! This, from a woman who herself has two similarly aged sons, neither of whom have ever had a girlfriend and still live at home. My DD has been in long-term relationship and for all I know, does not want to have children - but in any event surely this is none of my business.

Cheeky mare.

Why the fuck would she do that? Does she think all women want to have children? Maybe she should look closer to home and give her son's a kick up the arse.

I would reply ‘why have you sent me this?’

It’s beyond rude.

Your 'friend' is overstepping.

Straight in the bin and don’t dignify her rudeness with a response.

Message back and tell her that you've wanted to send her something for her sons and send her an article about men with Mummy issues, and block her.

How strange for her to be so interested in your daughter and her life. I can't see why anyone would feel the need to send that email. I would be tempted to send a similar email about sons who never leave home, and then never speak to her again.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is on par with my mother's friend who printed an entire folio for my mother to give me to try and persuade me not to have an ELCS.

The same woman was herself left doubly incontinent and had more than one surgery to recover from her wonderful vaginal births.

Message back and tell her that you've wanted to send her something for her sons and send her an article about men with Mummy issues, and block her.

I LOVE this as a suggestion

I’d email back and say “i take the view that this is none of my business. It’s certainly none of yours” and leave it at that.

Send an email about the deteriorating sperm quality for men over forty and see what she says.

She's foolish as well as unsupportive. I conceived at 44y5m, naturally, without even trying. Ds is now a healthy 17yo.

Your dd could be the same for all she knows

send her details of the male lonliness epidemic and tell her to butt out.

Don't give the info to your daughter. She is well aware. We all are.

This.
and I’d secretly think she’s envious of you as she doesn’t have daughters!

Email her back, thank her and let her know you passed it on to your DD, but they replied and suggested your friend keep her beak out of their business. Suggest you're unclear what they meant by that, but are happy to pass the message along to your friend.

If shes got to 40 without kids its very likely she doesn’t want kids. I would tell her to fuck off and focus on her own children.

I'd email her back with a list of local fertility clinics considering she is worried about her declining fertility.

Jesus serious overstepping there. I'd like to say i would take the high road and just bin it without saying something, but I am petty af so I would probably send her one of the things pp mentioned re her son's!!

Well, did this follow on from a conversation you'd had with her, that might make her think you'd be interested? Otherwise it's very inappropriate

Does she think that your DD is so desperate for a baby that she'll take one of her sons off her hands?

Reply and say it's nobody's business but your DD's but you think she and her partner have probably decided against having children because they don't want to be saddled with grown up children still living at home in their 40s.

I think you’ve answered your own question. She’s sad her sons won’t give her grandchildren and is projecting that sadness onto you.

An empathetic response would be sympathy for her situation.

Reply with this…

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/oct/22/the-perils-of-putting-off-fatherhood-why-it-poses-risks-to-childrens-physical-and-mental-health

This was going to be my suggestion too

Or send an article about slobbish men in their 40's still living at home.

This. Make her explain herself and squirm.

If she does try to justify it, suggest she concentrates on her own adult children instead.

Wtf?
I have 3 adult daughters. As fully capable adults they already understand about fertility and know that their sole obligation is to have a happy and fulfilled life. That may or may not include kids.
Email her back and say I have no idea why you would think that any woman would not know this or why you think I would share this with my daughter.