Bitchy e-mail re fertility rates for older women

[Jude03]

AIBU to feel upset after receiving an e-mail from a friend - who thought it would be "helpful" to send some data on declining fertility rates for women... for me to give my 40 year old daughter ?! This, from a woman who herself has two similarly aged sons, neither of whom have ever had a girlfriend and still live at home. My DD has been in long-term relationship and for all I know, does not want to have children - but in any event surely this is none of my business.

"Thank fuck for that, it means DD will be able to come off the pill and stop worrying about falling pregnant soon"

I don't understand all the 'block her' drama.

Yes it's weird and overstepping but, meh, it's really not that big a deal. As a pp said she's probably feeling sad that she may not have grandchildren.

Unless she starts saying things to your daughters face, or you don't like her that much anyway, I'd let it ride.

Why? As a woman in my 40s who never wanted children, I can tell you I've met many women like this, who seem to think it's their duty to educated me on how I'm failing at my duties as a woman, completely unprompted.

You could reply with "LOL, you're WAY past 40, though. Better try rehabilitating the children you already have! 😉"

It’s extremely tactless and none of her business.

Does your instinct tell you she’s more of a frenemy than a friend?

Does she often throw little acidic or patronising comments your way?

Thank you everyone for all your responses - I've finally 'grown a pair' and terminated this so-called 'friendship' once and for all.

Ohhhhhh tell us.. what did you say?

As someone who has just turned 40, can you please tell her to fuck off from all of us?

This.

I've encountered odd man who seems oblivious to decline fertlity in women and their own but never a woman.

Though I'd have just sent a ? back.

Send a link on adults failure to launch.

Seriously I'd ask her if she sent it in error or ask why had she thought of it. Let her explain. Hopefully as she does she will realise how silly she sounds.

Is she hoping your daughter will take one of her sons off her hands?

"Thank you for that (friends name) but i'd have thought with two grown unmarried sons still at home you'd have more pressing matters to attend to."

A friend of mine (a man) gave me a book about fertility issues when I got engaged... we were not trying for a baby at that time and I found it really weird and awkward.

I gave it to his wife on their wedding day as a gift.

I was about to post about something like this. Tell her to pass it on to her sons!

oh, has she been horrible before?

funnily enough, I found 40 to be a tipping point in my favour. I always said I didn't want to get married and have children. Some of my parents friends used to tell me that was rubbish. But when I turned 40, I think they finally accepted it.

It was sad because when my parents used to have some of these people over, with most family friends I would make an effort to pop in. But these people I made an effort to avoid!

Perfect

I would send her a link to the dildo section of anne summers so she can decide which way she wants to go fuck herself.

Send her this Young men living at home with parents are more violent - Queen Mary University of London

She's projecting, for sure.
As an aside, I really, really wish we had some really good data on female fertility that is from a cross section of the contemporary population of women.
But I wouldn't be emailing anything of that nature to anyone, unasked for. How gauche of her!

and again this

Why assume they're slobbish? Why attack her sons, when she's the one who's behaving unpleasantly? OP didn't say the sons were unemployed, she said they'd never had girlfriends. Maybe they're gay and don't want them? I think it's ironic to criticise the OP's friend for normative judginess, and then replicate that in your own response.

I think its rude and interfering, could also be VERY hurtful.

Because if OP had been recently discussing the subject with her friend then the email is in context. It's still tactless, but in context.

However, if the friends contact is usually just a card at Christmas and suddenly this email arrives out of the blue then it's really bizarre.

It isn't about you @naunet and what has happened to you, although I agree anyone passing comment on others childfree status is unacceptable.

What on earth was she thinking?! I would ask her why she has sent it (before ending the "friendship"). Well done for putting her in her place, she has wildly overstepped and been extremely rude and insensitive. It's also none of her business!

Had you ever discussed this it was it so out of the blue?

How have you terminated the friendship?