To find H's tiredness unattractive

[WhatADump]

Im 41 my husband is 47. We both work full time

He goes to bed at 9pm. He groans all the time. Muttering to himself "God im tired". Farting at night. He complains all the time. Doesn't want to go anywhere. The noises he makes. Hiccuping, muttering, he makes the loudest sounds getting up. He makes the kids get him stuff while h lies on the sofa. I have asked him to see the GP. But I think its psychological. He can stay up till 2am gaming if he wants. He says he just wants the quiet life and "im old just leave me alone". He says i make him feel judged.

I find it all so unattractive. Am I being horrible or unfair? He makes me feel depressed.

‘And just now he asked me for sex and told me it would be good for his stress and anxiety.‘

Christ what a bloody knob.

He’s 47. FIT tests are not available on the NHS until age 54.

Please, please offload this waste of space.

I have read some of the thread, but not all.

Hard to say if he is suffering from some form of depression, or needs to just accept that everyone has to do things they don't want to, put some effort into what he needs to do without moaning so much, and think about how you may feel about things.
Either way, a visit to the GP to check that there isn't anything wrong could be worth doing. If he isn't prepared to do that for himself, then what does he expect you to be able to do to help.

It sounds as if you are concerned that he is not pulling his weight in work, and his job is at risk if he is still on probation. Would asking him what he intends to do if that happens make him think a bit more about things or make him work.

He actually said "i don't even care anyway" under his breath. Like a kid having a tantrum. Im gonna sleep in the spare room

Yeah im really concerned about him losing his job. He would definitely quit or lose his job if I left him.

You are caught between a rock and a hard place in some ways. Do you know what would you do if he did lose his job? Not an easy decision - it will depend on finances, what is best for you and the children, how he reacts etc.

If he lost his job @Talkingfrog id be fine financially but not if I had to look after him financially in a split!

any update OP? Really feel for you and hope you don’t get stuck in a situation where you’re financially responsible for him!