AIBU to expect people to wait before ordering food?

[GoldInYourSmile]

This is a total first world problem, but it feels a bit like an unspoken rule is being broken.

AIBU, that when going out for a group meal, to expect the whole table to wait for everyone to arrive and settle down before ordering food at the same time? Especially if the last people to arrive aren’t actually late?

Our work Christmas meal was at lunchtime and we went to a nice local chain restaurant where you order at the bar or on their app. 14 of us met at 12.30, some from their homes and some of us from the office.

I drove some of us from the office, bringing my car round from the car park to the office building door and dropping them off at the restaurant door before finding a parking space, as it was raining. So I walked in at the meeting time, but maybe 3-4 mins after the others.

I put my coat down at the table and went straight to the bar for a drink. When I was waiting, a colleague was in front. By the time I’d sat down with my drink, everyone who had arrived so far had already chosen and ordered their food through the restaurants app or from the bar. Good job I’d looked at the menu the night before because I felt so rushed to get my own food ordered, as did another colleague who arrived a minute after me.

I queued at the bar again to order food, my colleague decided to download and get into the app but it meant our food, especially his, arrived way after the others. At one point one person was just eating on their own, as all our food arrived at different times.

I felt a bit begrudging giving them all a lift back, even going out my way to drop someone off at the bus station as they were WFH to save them walking a mile in the rain. I did make them all walk back to my car though, didn’t bring the car round this time.

It was the same the year before, with the same people. I wasn’t last to arrive that time, but half the meals were ordered on the app before some people had arrived so again, it all arrived in dribs and drabs.

This nearly happened with another group I’m part of as well. We were at Nando’s. I arrived before the agreed time but they were all super early. One told me she’d had to remind everyone not to order before I’d arrived! They knew I was near, I messaged when I was setting off to give an ETA and again when parked up to say I was there.

It didn’t seem to occur to anyone mentioned above to wait for everyone to arrive and/or settle down before ordering together. Neither of the times the clock was being watched so no-one was in a rush to order, eat and leave.

I’m not habitually the last to arrive by the way, just these two times. If I had been there as early as apparently needed, I would have politely asked everyone to wait for the whole group to arrive before actually ordering. It wouldn’t occur to me for it to be any other way. I feel like I missed a memo.

On both occasions it was fun, good company and conversation flowed etc. No issues there. But when you’re watching others eat because they didn’t have the patience to wait before ordering, it just gives an undercurrent of bad manners. And a little bit less of a sense of occasion.

I hope I’m not being a stick in the mud. At the work meal it was a mix of ages - 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and at the Nando’s mostly 20’s and 30’s, but the lady who told them all to wait was in her 50’s (we all met online). I’m 38. So I don’t think it’s a generation issue? Just a modern one?

AIBU to expect to order food at the same time as anyone else?

The issue here is you all have to order seperately. So even if you all queued or used the app it would be the same thing. If you want to eat together you need to order together, but I agree in this situation, there is no point in everyone waiting then queuing and ordering one by one, even on the app it will always come out at different times as it is all seperate orders.

Picture it like this. In a normal restaurant six of you all order the steak. Five want it rare, one wants it well done. The chef will put the well done one on first, and then the others so that they are all ready at the same time.
Where everyone orders individually, he will just put them on as the orders arrive, so the well done could arrive, first, last or somewhere in the middle. Everyone hitting 'order' simultaneously won't make a difference. So your colleagues are not being rude by not waiting.

Op, if you want everyone served at the same time you place a singular order. The down side is you need to split the bill at the end. If you go to a place where everyone orders individually and then pays their own at that point, then the orders will always come out seperately and based on how the chef processes each order ie other tables may have ordered in the same time frame.

there is no way round it. Order all on one order and split the bill. The meals come out together. Order seperately. Then they are processed separately.

The problem here is that the restaurant is taking orders on an app, and people are ordering as individuals or as 2s/3s so of course the food is going to come out in dribs and drabs. Even if you all put in the orders within a minute of each other, if there are 12 different order numbers coming out to a table of 24 people they are going to be brought out at one order per few minutes and the first people will have finished eating by the time the last one comes out.

If the meal is to be a shared experience then the order should be placed as a single order amd the restaurant told to bring out everything together. For a large group this usually requires the order to be emailed in 24 hrs in advance.

With such a large group it was probably better to do it as you did.
There's probably not the capacity or staff to enable the whole tables food to be cooked and served at the same time unless prearranged.
In smaller groups of say up to 6/8 then yes order drinks as you arrive then food at the same time, don't most people sit and chat before ordering food?

YABU in Nando’s and cheap pub. They’re exactly the type of place everyone orders separately

There’s a difference between ordering separately, as you have to do at these places, and ordering at different times. They should have waited at least.

If it is a place where you order separately at the bar or by app then they are not being rude, I don't think, because four minutes here and there isn't going to make any difference to when the food comes.
Completely different if it is a waiter going round the table taking orders.

I think it’s ok to order separately as and when if you are in a weatherspoons type of place. It wouldn’t bother me unless there was a really big time different or if it was at a fancy restaurant.

Why? The orders will still have been processed in order alongside every other customer and come out at different times. They aren’t ordering as a table, they order individually so their food won’t come out at the same time,

edit sorry quoted wrong poster, was quoting where the person said they should have waited,

In smaller groups of say up to 6/8 then yes order drinks as you arrive then food at the same time, don't most people sit and chat before ordering food?

Yes, if you are meeting friends in the evening and it isn't December/ Valentines Day / Mothering Sunday (where restaurant will be expecting a later booking at your table.
No, if you are on your lunch break and expected back at work by a certain time.

OP said it was lunch time AND December.

Yes polite to order together tho guess if going up to bar to order that takes time

next time they can park and walk with you

This! If it's table service then yes, the expectation would be to wait until everyone there an order together. If its a self service kinda place, then it makes complete sense to order separately/whenever you want.

Someone could of asked the restaurant to hold the food until everyone had ordered.

Agree with a PP, the issue here is someone ought to have got you a drink as you drove people.

When I go out in a group, we all order and pay after we've arrived and settled. Some people will be early, some will be half an hour late. We all simply say that we're on X table, there will be more of us, please can you serve us all at the same time. Never a problem.