This is a total first world problem, but it feels a bit like an unspoken rule is being broken.
AIBU, that when going out for a group meal, to expect the whole table to wait for everyone to arrive and settle down before ordering food at the same time? Especially if the last people to arrive aren’t actually late?
Our work Christmas meal was at lunchtime and we went to a nice local chain restaurant where you order at the bar or on their app. 14 of us met at 12.30, some from their homes and some of us from the office.
I drove some of us from the office, bringing my car round from the car park to the office building door and dropping them off at the restaurant door before finding a parking space, as it was raining. So I walked in at the meeting time, but maybe 3-4 mins after the others.
I put my coat down at the table and went straight to the bar for a drink. When I was waiting, a colleague was in front. By the time I’d sat down with my drink, everyone who had arrived so far had already chosen and ordered their food through the restaurants app or from the bar. Good job I’d looked at the menu the night before because I felt so rushed to get my own food ordered, as did another colleague who arrived a minute after me.
I queued at the bar again to order food, my colleague decided to download and get into the app but it meant our food, especially his, arrived way after the others. At one point one person was just eating on their own, as all our food arrived at different times.
I felt a bit begrudging giving them all a lift back, even going out my way to drop someone off at the bus station as they were WFH to save them walking a mile in the rain. I did make them all walk back to my car though, didn’t bring the car round this time.
It was the same the year before, with the same people. I wasn’t last to arrive that time, but half the meals were ordered on the app before some people had arrived so again, it all arrived in dribs and drabs.
This nearly happened with another group I’m part of as well. We were at Nando’s. I arrived before the agreed time but they were all super early. One told me she’d had to remind everyone not to order before I’d arrived! They knew I was near, I messaged when I was setting off to give an ETA and again when parked up to say I was there.
It didn’t seem to occur to anyone mentioned above to wait for everyone to arrive and/or settle down before ordering together. Neither of the times the clock was being watched so no-one was in a rush to order, eat and leave.
I’m not habitually the last to arrive by the way, just these two times. If I had been there as early as apparently needed, I would have politely asked everyone to wait for the whole group to arrive before actually ordering. It wouldn’t occur to me for it to be any other way. I feel like I missed a memo.
On both occasions it was fun, good company and conversation flowed etc. No issues there. But when you’re watching others eat because they didn’t have the patience to wait before ordering, it just gives an undercurrent of bad manners. And a little bit less of a sense of occasion.
I hope I’m not being a stick in the mud. At the work meal it was a mix of ages - 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and at the Nando’s mostly 20’s and 30’s, but the lady who told them all to wait was in her 50’s (we all met online). I’m 38. So I don’t think it’s a generation issue? Just a modern one?
AIBU to expect to order food at the same time as anyone else?