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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends asking for their money back

370 replies

Nicolasaa9 · 29/01/2026 11:41

Hi, I am not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need to vent.

My two closest friends and I planned to go to an event together. I live in London, one friend is in Hertfordshire and the other lives up north. We agreed to book it in Leeds, get a hotel, and make a proper girls weekend of it, especially as the friend up north is usually the one travelling south.

Both friends have now said they are too unwell to go. They asked me to put their tickets up for resale, which I have done, and have also asked me to pay them back for their share of the hotel even though I am still going.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

They are now asking for that £30 back. I am still going because I have wanted to see this event for ages, but it means driving four hours to something I could have reached in ten minutes on the tube, and spending the weekend alone.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this is unfair

OP posts:
Needspaceforlego · 31/01/2026 13:19

GasPanic · 29/01/2026 11:57

I would try selling your ticket as well and rebook for the closer one.

Even if it costs you £50 or so it will probably be less expensive than the petrol.

I would also not refund these people.

Why are they going to be ill, co-incidentally at the same time and when this event is on ? If they have a good excuse fair enough.

Otherwise I would suspect this is some sort of nasty plot to be unpleasant to you.

I would be ditching them as friends. As I friend I would be happy to give up my £30 in apologies for the inconvenience caused if I was in their situation.

That was my thoughts too. Sell all tickets and buy one closer to home.
I'd reconsider the friends too.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 31/01/2026 15:23

"Sorry Gemma/Cassie,the hotel was non refundable so that money isn't coming back".

Cheeky fuckers.
I get where they're coming from, because they're not going but it's tough cheese... That's what happens when you fall ill and you have an event to go to.... Suck it up buttercups

ByCalmBlueWriter · 31/01/2026 18:29

I would sell on their tickets and use the money to cover their share of the booking. As you say £200 worth of points might have been spent elsewhere.

Bluddyellfire · 31/01/2026 18:36

Nicolasaa9 · 29/01/2026 11:41

Hi, I am not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need to vent.

My two closest friends and I planned to go to an event together. I live in London, one friend is in Hertfordshire and the other lives up north. We agreed to book it in Leeds, get a hotel, and make a proper girls weekend of it, especially as the friend up north is usually the one travelling south.

Both friends have now said they are too unwell to go. They asked me to put their tickets up for resale, which I have done, and have also asked me to pay them back for their share of the hotel even though I am still going.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

They are now asking for that £30 back. I am still going because I have wanted to see this event for ages, but it means driving four hours to something I could have reached in ten minutes on the tube, and spending the weekend alone.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this is unfair

This is why I no longer involve friends in most of my exciting plans. Unless they're doing most of the organising/ paying for it and charging me my share, I assume they'll bail at some point because they usually do but I wouldn't dream of doing it. It's so disappointing 💐

Loveydoveyduck · 31/01/2026 18:40

You looking for a new friend??

Rightplace · 31/01/2026 19:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

ThatSassyPinkDuck · 31/01/2026 19:09

I’d probably bail on the trip tell them your not going tough cheese. It’s worth losing your 200 points to find out they’re not really friends. I’m sorry it’s hard as an adult isn’t it.

Auroraloves · 31/01/2026 19:11

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

This sounds very stressful but did you mean to post it on someone else’s thread? Probably be better to create a new thread

ThisGutsyQuail · 31/01/2026 19:24

Just tell them that the hotel is non-refundable, so it would be YOUR money that you would be giving them.

fantastiq · 31/01/2026 19:29

Nicolasaa9 · 29/01/2026 11:41

Hi, I am not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need to vent.

My two closest friends and I planned to go to an event together. I live in London, one friend is in Hertfordshire and the other lives up north. We agreed to book it in Leeds, get a hotel, and make a proper girls weekend of it, especially as the friend up north is usually the one travelling south.

Both friends have now said they are too unwell to go. They asked me to put their tickets up for resale, which I have done, and have also asked me to pay them back for their share of the hotel even though I am still going.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

They are now asking for that £30 back. I am still going because I have wanted to see this event for ages, but it means driving four hours to something I could have reached in ten minutes on the tube, and spending the weekend alone.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this is unfair

Seems they owe you a third of 260,

Oldmum468 · 31/01/2026 19:32

Yes, that is not fair. Its not your fault they were ill and you should not have to pay their share back. Frankly, I'm shocked they've asked for it. But that's just my POV. Personally, I don't think I'd be keeping them on as friends. Just aquaintances.

Creek2025 · 31/01/2026 21:33

Not at all you even used your points for the hotel which you could have used another time and saw the event closer to your home and gone home for the night. Definitely not being unreasonable.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 31/01/2026 22:18

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 29/01/2026 11:43

Sorry! I pressed the wrong option without my glasses on. You’re definitely not being unreasonable in the slightest. They’re being ridiculous.

You can change your vote.

MoonChild111 · 31/01/2026 23:11

Bloody hell! Proper CF’s!!!! 😳

NickM100 · 31/01/2026 23:22

Sorry to hear this difficult situation. Could it something to do with the points - what are they exactly?

NickM100 · 31/01/2026 23:25

Sorry to hear about this difficult situation. Could it be something to do with the points- what exactly are these?

TappyGilmore · 31/01/2026 23:26

The nerve of them, they’ve only paid £30 anyway because you covered most of the cost, and they’re asking for that back?! CFs. YANBU at all. You are very kind and generous covering most of the cost in the first place.

MischkasMum · 01/02/2026 00:33

Not short on cheek, are they? Please, tell them to "go forth and multiply". In fact, don't be that polite. Just tell them to fuck off, pair of chancers😡

Pherian · 01/02/2026 15:09

Nicolasaa9 · 29/01/2026 11:41

Hi, I am not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I really need to vent.

My two closest friends and I planned to go to an event together. I live in London, one friend is in Hertfordshire and the other lives up north. We agreed to book it in Leeds, get a hotel, and make a proper girls weekend of it, especially as the friend up north is usually the one travelling south.

Both friends have now said they are too unwell to go. They asked me to put their tickets up for resale, which I have done, and have also asked me to pay them back for their share of the hotel even though I am still going.

The hotel is non refundable, and I used around £200 of my own points to book it. There was an extra £60 to pay, which I asked them to split between them at £30 each, which felt fair given the points I used.

They are now asking for that £30 back. I am still going because I have wanted to see this event for ages, but it means driving four hours to something I could have reached in ten minutes on the tube, and spending the weekend alone.

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this is unfair

You aren’t unfair. They are. I would never book anything with them again.

Suec254 · 02/02/2026 00:18

Non refundable is non refundable. In fact they should compensate you. They are not entitled to any kind of refund. Go ahead and enjoy your trip. Lesson learned. Anyone who organised a group event and has to pay up front will almost always end up out of pocket. The terms should be stated clearly and nobody gets to go until they have paid you. My son help to organise a buck's night recently and there are still 2 people who haven't paid him, and they attended!

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