Neighbour just rung doorbell at 2.30am!

[greywolfie]

I'm now wide awake and fumming. She rung twice so I opened the front bedroom window as I worried it might be an emergency. Women stood there on her phone in tears and I thought - oh, she could need help.
My husband is on his way down to.open the door.
Then she says...."my cat is in your garden"
I mean - FFS!
I said "well your cat will get out of our garden"
"Really?"
"Yes. If your cat is still in our garden in the morning we will bring it back"
Shut window.
Husband then opened the door and she started telling him about the damn cat- I yelled at him to shut it.
He wanted to go out and get it but I said that was mad and would encourage the over protective cat mother to do it again in future.
For reference, we have 2 elderly cats that very rarely scale the fence. One night one got over very late and was struggling to make it back (we have stuff by our fence that would've also helped her bloody cat up, if he cared - but their side is just the bare fence). I was a bit worried but would NEVER have rung their bell in the middle of the night! About an hour later our old lady regained her energy and made it back.
AIBU to go round in the morning and point out you don't ring people's doorbells for this reason? It's batshit right?

Being kind is not ringing your neighbours doorbell at 2am! If she’s that concerned about her cat she shouldn’t let them outside.

its batshit behaviour and I’d be fuming.

Was once woke up by a new neighbour I hadn't met who needed an inhaler. That's reasonable, "my cat is going for a walk" is not. I'd be less offended by randomly sneaking into my garden to grab it with the possibility of making me think it's a prowler.

YANBU. On SM I constantly see people, with cats who are allowed to roam, talking smugly about "accepting the risks" and "cats are allowed to roam" until Tiddles goes missing or has been found run over. I don't dislike cats but don't want a cat or want other people's cats in my garden. And at 2.30am I don't get up to answer the door unless there are blue flashing lights outside.

Go and knock on her door at 2.30 tomorrow morning and tell her the cats gone now so you were just checking it had gone home 😂

I want to know (and speaking as a former cat-owner) - who are these people who stay awake all night watching what their cat is doing and where it's going?

Most cat-owners just let their cats get on with their wanderings, just waiting for them to come back for food. You only start to worry if you haven't seen them for a few days 😀

That is bizarre. Has she not owned cats before?

I remember a young lad nearly in tears thinking his cat was missing but in our area it's all enclosed so they can't get out into the street. It had been out only a couple of hours. It returned a couple of hours later. As cats do. He didn't knock at 2.30am though!

I'm a dog person, one of my many reasons for not being a cat person is that they wander and I couldn't cope with the anxiety associated with a wandering cat that I loves, therefore I would never want to get one and become attached to it.
This women clearly isn't the right person to be a cat owner, unless it's a house cat.

I would have lost it with your neighbour, I worked 12 hour shifts and have to drive on blue lights and give drugs with risky consequences in that time, behvaviour like hers could literally cost my job either by a mistake or escalating me up the sickness policy when i had to take the day off.

I am shocked at all the "be kind" nonsense on here, clearly there are a lot of mumsnetters with low responsibilty/ low stress jobs.

I'd have been kind to her and rescued the cat. Life is short and a bit of kindness goes a long way

If someone woke me up at 2:30 am to collect their cat, I would assume their cat needed time-sensitive medication or had an OP booked and shouldn't be out hunting. My first reaction would not be that they are crazy. I find it odd that you jumped immediately to thinking your neighbour was mad.

She didn't give this insane woman a sharp piece of her mind. That was kind enough in the circumstances.

Little update - we found a letter which I assume was posted before the first wake up call. Lots of urgent! And 'please help' as cat has anxiety (I've met this cat and it is stupidly friendly). She's never owned a cat before so is new to this game.
So I wrote a kind-ish letter back saying the points I made at 5am but adding that as a cat owner I understood the worry. How midnight strolls are very normal and I hoped the cat's return would give her more confidence for next time. I also offered to help find him if he was still missing.
I'm not a good sleeper and the thought of inviting her in at 2am for a cat chase and possible counselling was not an option in my brain. I would have been of no use or comfort to her.
If it had been a real emergency then I'm confident I would have woken up and helped.

Cat lover. However as OP stated, my head would have gone straight to: Who died?

A random drunk man did this to us once (got the wrong house), and my fears that I’d lost someone close went through the roof.

It is really not helpful for the cat lady not to be given the opportunity to learn that her acting on her anxieties may cause equal or greater anxieties in others.

I find it odd that you consider any alternative explanation possible. Any cat with "time-sensitive medication or had an OP booked" would surely be kept securely indoors.

I think most people's reasonable reaction would be that the woman is crazy

This would have scared me out of my wits and I would not have been amused. Sadly I've recently been waking suddenly during the night a lot recently, and every time I do the rush of cortisol/adrenaline is physically painful. If I was woken by a banging at my door at that time I'd have gone into panic mode.

And if she's that anxious about her cat she should never have let it outdoors in the first place.

Cats with anxiety 🙄

She wouldn’t know why the neighbour was anxious about her cat because she didn’t ask (and shouted her husband down so he also couldn’t ask if he wanted to).

It certainly wasn’t ’be kind no matter what’!

You’re a kinder person than me OP. 2.30 or whatever it is stupid o’clock and then again at 5am would give me the rage. Cats roam, that’s what they do. And that’s why mine is locked in at night.

The cat has anxiety, I thought it was the owner with anxiety?

At 2am when I asked her what the problem was she said her cat was in my garden...
I shouted at husband not to open the door- for projection- as I was still upstairs and a bit freaked out

I’m finding it astounding that some posters think OP should have been kinder! A 2am wake up call is always interrupted as an emergency and it is very startling to someone to be woken up in this way. Of course OP would have helped if it had been a genuine emergency but this sounds like someone with extreme anxiety and absolutely zero social skills thinking it was reasonable to wake a neighbour up for this reason. To then return at 5am just beggars belief. I’m a kind person and there’s no way I would find this reasonable and would have to make it clear that she is not to do this again.

I think a few use threads like theses to polish their superiority complex try and out do one another to demonstrate how much kinder they are than other people.

I had a very distant neigbour vaguely recognised knock on door few years ago - at a much more reasonable 4 pm - wanting me to check out door shed for his cat he was going round doing it down the street though most were not home yet - I knew there was no cat but okay did check.

Then kept on could have come though our cat flaps - err ours are indoor cats so no and they wouldn't tolerate another very terrorial. Then it emerges cat was an hour late - it was usually home by 3 pm - I mean wtf - an hour late.

Worst still it was an unneutered tom cat - so I said they roam for miles but no his apparently home by 3 every day and didn't go past first few gardens and never went near the cat killing duel carraige way his house was even closer to.

His poor son couldn't take the anxiety - I was like well neuter the cat - then indoor/catifiy back garden or GPS collar - those were all cruel apparently . I shut the door at that point.

How ridiculous. It's a cat. If she'd been ill, at death's door, her house on fire, yes.

Cat in garden, no.

The audacity and thoughtlessness of some people is so amazing at times. Wonders never cease.