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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour just rung doorbell at 2.30am!

581 replies

greywolfie · 29/01/2026 03:18

I'm now wide awake and fumming. She rung twice so I opened the front bedroom window as I worried it might be an emergency. Women stood there on her phone in tears and I thought - oh, she could need help.
My husband is on his way down to.open the door.
Then she says...."my cat is in your garden"
I mean - FFS!
I said "well your cat will get out of our garden"
"Really?"
"Yes. If your cat is still in our garden in the morning we will bring it back"
Shut window.
Husband then opened the door and she started telling him about the damn cat- I yelled at him to shut it.
He wanted to go out and get it but I said that was mad and would encourage the over protective cat mother to do it again in future.
For reference, we have 2 elderly cats that very rarely scale the fence. One night one got over very late and was struggling to make it back (we have stuff by our fence that would've also helped her bloody cat up, if he cared - but their side is just the bare fence). I was a bit worried but would NEVER have rung their bell in the middle of the night! About an hour later our old lady regained her energy and made it back.
AIBU to go round in the morning and point out you don't ring people's doorbells for this reason? It's batshit right?

OP posts:
NotThisShitAgain121 · 30/01/2026 18:09

Unless it was an emergency - I would hit the fucking roof.

Granddama · 30/01/2026 19:28

I'm so glad I don't live next door to you.

miss79guided · 30/01/2026 20:00

Granddama · 30/01/2026 19:28

I'm so glad I don't live next door to you.

Im soo glad you dont live next door either

Though bein a celebrity - I HAVE to go to a LOT of promotions

> Good things come to those who wait----

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 30/01/2026 21:33

FOJN · 30/01/2026 18:05

Contrary goady fucker - best ignored.

Some of these Be Kind-ers don't seem to practice what they preach, that's for sure.

nothanks2026 · 30/01/2026 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ninjachicken · 30/01/2026 23:05

Anyone saying you ARBI insane, completely agree with you ❤️

mjhx · 31/01/2026 07:42

Was it a kitten or a house cat?
If my house cat got out, is be the same.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 31/01/2026 08:39

This reply has been deleted

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I wasn’t intending to return to this thread but forgot to turn off notifications, and this little gem popped up:

And of course, those pretending they think she did something wrong are the sort to have a screeching melt down at anybody who doesn't comply to their selfish demands. Massive, bizarre overstepping of boundaries - anyone defending this is a fellow nutbag who sees themselves in the batshit neigbhour.

Or alternatively some of us have experience of working within mental health services and are well acquainted with the distress anxiety like this can trigger - regardless of whether there is a pre existing MH condition or not. And the notion that we can’t switch off empathy or understanding for someone in distress at 5pm when the working day ends.

Just look at the language you’re using here to describe a young girl in distress, who may or may not have a MH problem feeding into it. Batshit twattery, loony, nut bag, unhinged, mental. And the final insult ‘if she’s so unhinged she needs help, call the authorities’. Do you know how hard it is for those with mental health issues and their families to access the help they need ?

For me, this wasn’t about the cat. It was about the distress experienced by the young girl and the utterly callous responses to that distress - and to be clear, l don’t include OP in that - she followed up with the neighbour and reached out to her.

Those with mental health issues are unfortunately still stigmatised, still subjected to the ‘pull yourself together’ mentality and are generally isolated - not least because of the general lack of understanding and intolerance from those who have no experience of it. Many of those with severe conditions end up in the criminal justice system because there is literally no other provision for them, and generally society doesn’t care until it comes knocking on their door. One look at this thread, and your horrible comment in particular, offers an insight into exactly how we’ve arrived at this state of affairs.

I’m done. Thread hidden.

nothanks2026 · 31/01/2026 09:46

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nothanks2026 · 31/01/2026 09:47

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So yep, if crazy cat lady is batshit mental enough to need help, it's not OPs place or job to offer it and she can fuck off home.

And if crazy cat lady is not batshit mental enough to need help she can fuck off home.

All sorted :)

nothanks2026 · 31/01/2026 11:13

DotAndCarryOne2 · 31/01/2026 08:39

I wasn’t intending to return to this thread but forgot to turn off notifications, and this little gem popped up:

And of course, those pretending they think she did something wrong are the sort to have a screeching melt down at anybody who doesn't comply to their selfish demands. Massive, bizarre overstepping of boundaries - anyone defending this is a fellow nutbag who sees themselves in the batshit neigbhour.

Or alternatively some of us have experience of working within mental health services and are well acquainted with the distress anxiety like this can trigger - regardless of whether there is a pre existing MH condition or not. And the notion that we can’t switch off empathy or understanding for someone in distress at 5pm when the working day ends.

Just look at the language you’re using here to describe a young girl in distress, who may or may not have a MH problem feeding into it. Batshit twattery, loony, nut bag, unhinged, mental. And the final insult ‘if she’s so unhinged she needs help, call the authorities’. Do you know how hard it is for those with mental health issues and their families to access the help they need ?

For me, this wasn’t about the cat. It was about the distress experienced by the young girl and the utterly callous responses to that distress - and to be clear, l don’t include OP in that - she followed up with the neighbour and reached out to her.

Those with mental health issues are unfortunately still stigmatised, still subjected to the ‘pull yourself together’ mentality and are generally isolated - not least because of the general lack of understanding and intolerance from those who have no experience of it. Many of those with severe conditions end up in the criminal justice system because there is literally no other provision for them, and generally society doesn’t care until it comes knocking on their door. One look at this thread, and your horrible comment in particular, offers an insight into exactly how we’ve arrived at this state of affairs.

I’m done. Thread hidden.

Edited

Returns, has melt down reports comment😅😅😂

Howinthehelldidthishappen · 31/01/2026 11:18

@mjhx neither. Mentioned many times over the 23 pages.

@DotAndCarryOne2 why are you calling the neighbour a young girl? She's a woman in her twenties.

nothanks2026 · 31/01/2026 11:18

I am so glad OP told the unkind, batshit cat lady determined to cause a drama out of absolutely nothing to sling her hook. What an absolutely selfish, awful shitty thing to do, having a deliberate melt down on your neighbour's door step to try to get your own way and get attention at 2am. Awful behaviour.

You get women like that, unfortunately, massively attention seeking loons who will start sobbing hysterically if they don't get the attention they want. Horrible people, definitely not the OPs job to deal with that shit at 2am. Some of those types are on this thread too, stuff like this attracts them like flies to shit. If they can force their dreadful, selfish anti social behaviour down your gullet under the guise of mEnTaLhEaLtH and #bEkInD they feel vindicated.

Anyway, all's well that ends well, attention seeking loon forced to fuck off home with her invented drama is the perfect ending to the story.

nothanks2026 · 31/01/2026 11:25

Some of these responses are hilariously desperate.

These deeply self centred, desperate for attention overly dramatic types found a stick to beat the world with and started shoving bEkInD down all our throats a few years back, while bulldozering normal, fair boundaries and demanding we all kowtow to their hurty feels because "reasons".

But that particular fad has passed, and we are reentering "Nah, you're a grown up so act like one" territory and they find themselves being repeatedly told it's not a random stranger's job to be their mental health support worker, and instead to just leave people in peace to get on with their lives.

And they do not like it, not one little bit.

Anyway, glad you didn't give in to the emotional blackmail from your nutbag neighbour OP.

Zov · 31/01/2026 12:11

I love how angry and outrageously passionate you are about this @nothanks2026 😆

I do largely agree with you though.

nothanks2026 · 31/01/2026 12:21

Zov · 31/01/2026 12:11

I love how angry and outrageously passionate you are about this @nothanks2026 😆

I do largely agree with you though.

I'm not remotely angry. Mainly, I have enjoyed myself on this thread.

I do look down on drama llamas who demand other people's time, attention and care. And I do take a certain pleasure in pointing out to manipulative types that I have their number. But disdain and a perhaps slightly malicious pleasure does not equate to anger.

For some of these bEkInDeRs it's will be the first time anybody has ever told them the truth - which is that most of us see right through their emotional manipulation, we're not their mums, caregivers or nurses and they can sod off and behave like adults like the rest of us 😇

SapphireSeptember · 31/01/2026 12:24

Look, I've had mental health issues since I was a teenager, it's no one's job, (except for actual professionals who are trained in this shit) to actually help. It's certainly not the job of a stranger at stupid o clock in the morning. I've tried helping a few of my exes and I just got completely worn down with it, (and none of them would actually engage with professionals, which I found infuriating.)

Dreamlava · 31/01/2026 14:55

All quiet on the neighbour front for last couple of nights @greywolfie ?

mjhx · 31/01/2026 15:22

Howinthehelldidthishappen · 31/01/2026 11:18

@mjhx neither. Mentioned many times over the 23 pages.

@DotAndCarryOne2 why are you calling the neighbour a young girl? She's a woman in her twenties.

You might have the time to sit and look through 23 pages but I don't..🤣

Changename12 · 31/01/2026 15:26

mjhx · 31/01/2026 15:22

You might have the time to sit and look through 23 pages but I don't..🤣

Not 23 pages, but that is at least an assumption that you will read all of the OPs posts (see all) before you post.

greywolfie · 31/01/2026 16:15

Dreamlava · 31/01/2026 14:55

All quiet on the neighbour front for last couple of nights @greywolfie ?

All quiet😊
And feeling much better after 2 nights of decent sleep!

OP posts:
Dreamlava · 31/01/2026 16:48

greywolfie · 31/01/2026 16:15

All quiet😊
And feeling much better after 2 nights of decent sleep!

Had she ever done it before?

FOJN · 31/01/2026 17:38

greywolfie · 31/01/2026 16:15

All quiet😊
And feeling much better after 2 nights of decent sleep!

I'm surprised she hasn't apologised. If you give her the benefit of the doubt that things always seem worse at night and she let anxiety about her cat run away with her, you would expect that, in the cold light of day, she'd have come to her senses and felt embarrassed about waking you.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 31/01/2026 17:52

greywolfie · 31/01/2026 16:15

All quiet😊
And feeling much better after 2 nights of decent sleep!

What? You've been sleeping for the past two nights instead of lying wide awake and ready to jump up just in case someone needs a favour at 3am? God OP your such a self involved narcissist!

Maybe you could do better tonight by knocking on everyone's door between midnight and 6am. It's just the be kind thing to do.

Valeriekat · 01/02/2026 07:48

ShetlandishMum · 29/01/2026 03:20

Or you could have been kind...

NO!