Neighbour just rung doorbell at 2.30am!

[greywolfie]

I'm now wide awake and fumming. She rung twice so I opened the front bedroom window as I worried it might be an emergency. Women stood there on her phone in tears and I thought - oh, she could need help.
My husband is on his way down to.open the door.
Then she says...."my cat is in your garden"
I mean - FFS!
I said "well your cat will get out of our garden"
"Really?"
"Yes. If your cat is still in our garden in the morning we will bring it back"
Shut window.
Husband then opened the door and she started telling him about the damn cat- I yelled at him to shut it.
He wanted to go out and get it but I said that was mad and would encourage the over protective cat mother to do it again in future.
For reference, we have 2 elderly cats that very rarely scale the fence. One night one got over very late and was struggling to make it back (we have stuff by our fence that would've also helped her bloody cat up, if he cared - but their side is just the bare fence). I was a bit worried but would NEVER have rung their bell in the middle of the night! About an hour later our old lady regained her energy and made it back.
AIBU to go round in the morning and point out you don't ring people's doorbells for this reason? It's batshit right?

Sure. But I don't believe I singled you personally out as saying that, so if you feel that sentiment doesn't apply then feel free to shrug and move on. But if accusing me of being a miserable people hater makes you happy then feel free.

How kind is it to wake someone at 2.00am! This person is either bonkers or completely self centred.

I was worried about my cat the other night as it was freezing out and it's not recommended for them to be out under 7 degrees. She never has stayed out when it's been that cold. It took me over an hour to get her in. I would have panicked if I hadn't found her and got her in so I understand your neighbour's panic. Things always seem worse and urgent in the middle of the night.

That doesn't mean you don't have a right to be pissed off, of course you do. Its just one of those things with understandable actions/responses on both sides.

Maybe politer but seriously, ringing a doorbell at 2.30am because a cat (that can jump and climb) is in someone else's garden?
In no way is it reasonable to do this.

Yes, but why specifically was she so upset about that fact. Did you ask?

Husband then opened the door and she started telling him about the damn cat- I yelled at him to shut it.
He wanted to go out and get it but I said that was mad and would encourage the over protective cat mother to do it again in future.

No, that’s not why you shouted at your husband. You just didn’t want him to help.

She can be upset quietly in her own house then. TeamOP for sure.

I’m not accusing you of that. I’m accusing Mumsnet of having that general sentiment.

Sorry incorrect. Husband decided to look for cat after neighbour left. He was half asleep and wandering round muttering in his pants. I know him. It would have been foolishness. He was back asleep within 5 minutes. I was awake, ruminating and venting on mumsnet.

Why was she so upset about a cat in my garden? No idea! She didn't seem to know either.

Not wanting to search for a cat that is doing what cats do at 2.30 am and again at 5am does not make anyone a miserable people hater.

That's just silly.

Neighbour was an inconsiderate dick at 2.30 in the am (in full fucking glam).

ExH used to be far too helpful. Someone came to the door saying they had broken down outside and could they borrow a spanner? He went out and got their car going. A few days later another neighbour managed to break down just outside our house and he went to help again. (We lived at the bottom of a moderate hill so it would have been easy enough for them to coast down to us if they had broken down anywhere along the road.) When a third rocked up, as he was pottering out with the toolbox I pointed out that he had effectively volunteered to service every car in the area for free, and said just lend them the damned tool and make sure they give it back. Sure enough, word got around that the free ride was over and the unexplained breakdowns stopped.

There's being kind, and then there's being a mug.

At 2 am it's police or someone dead matter or in serious need to knock on a door.

If they did that to some of my older relatives - it would have caused huge anxiety and distress probably for many days and may have involved police being called.

It is not socially acceptable behavior to ring door bells at 2 am or 5 am for missing cats.

It's probably kinder long term to discourage the behavior - as next neigbour door rung at in early hours of the morning may not be as nice as OP been. This neighbour needs to manger her cat and her anxiety better.

Once I was awake, I would have just tried to help. I might have been swearing under my breath, but I would have helped.

But helped with what? Looking for a cat who may not even have been in the garden, which was perfectly capable of jumping in and out when it pleased? And if it was there, then what? I don't even pick up my own cats without an invitation. Asking to lose skin.

Perhaps the cat is a house cat? Or sick?

Check your husbands phone, more going on between him and neighbour.

But then, why let a cat wander if that's the case? You could be out every night looking for the cat to give the time sensitive medication or risking not making it to the operation if the cat decided not to come home.

Cat shouldn't be in someone else's garden at 230am if they have needs at 230am. They should be in their house.

It depends on the age of the cat, the weather conditions and also the age and health of your neighbour. Personally, I'd have helped on this occasion and then suggested she should get the cat in earlier and ask what she'd have done if you'd not been at home. I certainly would not quarrel over something like that with an immediate neighbour - even though I used to get up at 4.45am daily when working. I wouldn't want some of the contributors here as neighbours, or do you just feel free to vent your bile on MN?

If she's going to be that protective then the cat shouldn't be out. During the winter months ours are not allowed out after 16.00.

Or just doing what most of the cats in my street do which seems to be going on patrol, fighting, shagging, shitting in other peoples gardens and looking for open windows to climb through before helping themselves to other cats food and using the neighbours sofa as a scratching post.

All cats I've known have been talented escape artists. If it happened more than once, I'd be annoyed, but the first time, I genuinely would assume there was a good reason the cat needed to be home asap, and I would help.

Why would it be my first reaction to assume the neighbour is crazy? Or anyone's first reaction?

Most people would not go looking for a cat at 2:30 am, much less wake their neighbour for a missing but otherwise healthy cat, so why automatically assume the worst? It is odd, imo.

Why is the neighbours anxiety about her cat the OP's concern at 2.30 am? She established fairly quickly it was because the cat was in OP's garden.

Maybe because it's 230am, there's a sudden, unexpected wake up and the first thought is "someone died" because that's a pretty normal worry for the doorbell going in the dead of night.

So to then hear the words "my cats in your garden", the first thought is obviously going to be "are you nuts waking me up in the dead of night to tell me this!?". While half asleep and scared.

Kindness works two ways though, it wasn't an emergency and waking up a household in the middle of the night isn't kind behaviour unless an emergency either surely?