To not want to stop BF 17 month old

[Sunny123Skies67]

I'm starting to get a lot of pressure to wean DS. From my own parents, my partner, and now even friends who I have confided to. Everyone thinks it's weird and bad for me, although I have not complained. Everyone now makes jokes about me BF him on his first day of school 😥

I only BF morning and evening and for naps, when I'm not at work. Never out and about. He eats a lot of food and has a great diet.

But it's so fucking useful. It puts him to sleep INSTANTLY. "Bedtime" takes 5 minutes. I don't have to rock and sing or whatever. It helps with teething. He sleeps 10.5 hours straight usually, but when he does ocasionally wake (around 4/5am), a quick boob puts him back to sleep.

He was a terrible sleeper 6-13 months (he took teething very badly) so I'm afraid to change something that works so well.

He loves nursing late afternoon or if he's overstimulated, it's like a little zen moment for him.

His nanny or his dad do ocasionally put him to bed at night, it's not a problem. I don't feel tied down. But his dad is now using this as an argument to stop BF.

Honestly ignore what everyone else says!

if it is working for you and your baby - breastfeed away!

No one else’s opinion matters - you don’t need to poll this

Why do they think it’s bad for you?

I fed my eldest until just under 3, and my youngest at 3 shows no sign of stopping.

if you’re both happy what has it got to do with them? It’s probably more their dislike of it for reasons they won’t be able to articulate

I'm not going to comment on breast feeding at 18 months as I bottle fed so I know nothing about it so I've no righr to comment. But would it be worth trying one night without that feed in the evening to see how he gets on.

I know only too well the horrors of a baby not settling in naps or at night but since you will have to wean him off at some point anyway, could you try one day just to see if he's anywhere near weaning. You deserve the break too and it wont do him any harm just trying. Hope it goes well for you and you dont derserve to be harassed by relatives over this. Its your baby 🥰

The WHO recommends feeding until at least 2, the average weaning age worldwide is between 2 and 7. If neither you or little one wants to stop and it's not getting in the way if things continue as long as you both want. It's no one else's business. I fed my first until just over 2 and it was so handy for sleep, travelling, sickness etc.

Every time they mention it say 'Omg I didn't realise! Can you send me the link to the research you've read that says bf is bad?!'. Hopefully, they educate themselves in the process.

Why is your DH keen for you to stop?

He's totally fine the occasional night that I'm away.

Ignore them. Do what’s right for you and your baby.

I still breastfeed my 2 and a half year old and couldn’t care less what anyone thinks. If it’s working for you and you don’t want to stop it’s nobody else’s business.

Just from seeing other mums who have posted and breast fed, it seems to be the norm and as I said I bottle fed so I deffo wont pass comment so I hope you get reasaurance here and dont feel pressured. Just keep loving that baby the way you are. Sounds like you are doing a great job. Ignore the outside noise

My parents are desperate to have him overnight, alone. I told them it's not happening. They think it's because of BF. It's not true and have told them as much. They insist he is too attached to me and I'm too attached to him.

I work full time. When I'm home, I want to spend time with him, not farm him off. I love a break for a few hours and we go out at least once a week. Most of our friends have told us we're more social than any other friends with babies/small kids!

And I recently went away for 3 days with friends, my first break by myself. DS coped fine but he was straight on the boob when I walked in the house.

My partner and my friends (who only know I still BF because I recently told them) just think it's weird.

I want to wean between 2 and 2 and half when he can understand the concept of "no more milk". I think he's too small to understand that now but he's also too old to just forget about it over a few days.

I kept going until it stop making them go to sleep quickly. First one was 3 and second one was 4. The second one is 5 now and has been really ill and one night cried for hours inconsolably and I really wished I could have fed her again.
Its so handy for stopping tantrums, any crying, comfort when they’re ill.

I’m planning to breastfeed until as I have done for all my children. When people ask I say at 2. It’s the best for them. Feel no shame.

Ignore them, and do whatever works for you and baby.

Also, maybe consider moving house? I’m being facetious, but of my group of mum friends I was the first to wean both my eldest two, at 16 months (wanted to get pregnant again). They all BF for 2+ years.

The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until 2 or beyond, for as long as the mother and child wish to. As long as you're happy there's no reason to stop. All the benefits continue through toddlerhood and beyond. If it's working for you don't let anyone else interfere

I weaned DC1 at 13 months because I wanted to get my period back - was worried about conceiving DC2 (silly me!). With DC2 I stopped at 18 months because she went through a phase of asking for it all the time when out at the weekends and I was sick of getting my boobs out on park benches (after a long covid winter with toddler and newborn - the worst!)…anyway I really regretted it as it is SUCH a great way to soothe them and I really missed that closeness, especially as I was working full time. If I could go back in time I would.

I am still BF my 13 month old and starting to get the same pressure from partner, parents etc. Many people dont like the idea of BF when the child is no longer considered a baby. I totally understand and feel exactly the same, in the night shes straight on the boob and settles instantly and naps are so much easier when BF. No advice for you, just here in solidarity with you!

Too attached?! Absolutely not a thing.
I'm still feeding my 2.5 year old and have had similar comments, but I just dont engage.

Ignore them. It’s none of their business and doesn’t affect them at all. I breastfed my ds until he was 2yo and I got all sorts of similar comments to the ones you’re getting. I laughed it off and said yes, I plan on breastfeeding him until he leaves home. Seriously, do what you want to do, don’t pay attention to the negative comments and just laugh it off.

I breastfed my youngest until he was almost 3, I had so many comments from around 18 months about stopping and if I was going to be feeding him after school etc.
I went away for a hen weekend and when I got back he couldn’t figure out how to latch on.
After a while I just ignored the comments and didn’t talk about breastfeeding at all unless it was a conversation with someone who wanted to or did breastfeed who would be more understanding. My husband was really supportive though so I didn’t have it from him as well.

Ignore them.

they are the ones being weird not you.

It's not weird in itself, but is seen as weird by many people in our culture.
It is so convenient for lots of reasons, if it's working for you both then keep going.
I'm friends with some women who have just done natural term weaning, guess what, some did breastfeed on their child's first day at school, but not at the gates!
I'm just waiting to see how DC goes, no sigh of stopping at 3. It might happen gradually or suddenly but I'm happy for it to be child-led.

Honestly, I wish people like your parents would listen to what they’re saying. Too attached to your baby at 17 months old!? Ridiculous comment! No wonder most people have unhealthy attachment issues when babies are left to self regulate way before they can!

Ignore everyone. Breastfeeding is the best parenting tool you have. Why on earth would a mother choose to make life harder?!

I bf DS until just before he was three. Once he was around 18 months, I only fed him before his nap and at bedtime; that then reduced to just feeding at bedtime. If I was out for the evening or overnight, he was perfectly happy to be settled by DH or my mum.

We stopped because I didn’t think I was even producing milk anymore; I think he was just feeding for comfort but I didn’t like being used as a dummy and, although I know it’s an arbitrary cut off, I didn’t want to be feeding a three year old. He was pretty accepting overall and only asked a few times before he realised he was on a road to nowhere.

17 months is still very little; keep going for as long as you’re happy to!