To not want to stop BF 17 month old

[Sunny123Skies67]

I'm starting to get a lot of pressure to wean DS. From my own parents, my partner, and now even friends who I have confided to. Everyone thinks it's weird and bad for me, although I have not complained. Everyone now makes jokes about me BF him on his first day of school 😥

I only BF morning and evening and for naps, when I'm not at work. Never out and about. He eats a lot of food and has a great diet.

But it's so fucking useful. It puts him to sleep INSTANTLY. "Bedtime" takes 5 minutes. I don't have to rock and sing or whatever. It helps with teething. He sleeps 10.5 hours straight usually, but when he does ocasionally wake (around 4/5am), a quick boob puts him back to sleep.

He was a terrible sleeper 6-13 months (he took teething very badly) so I'm afraid to change something that works so well.

He loves nursing late afternoon or if he's overstimulated, it's like a little zen moment for him.

His nanny or his dad do ocasionally put him to bed at night, it's not a problem. I don't feel tied down. But his dad is now using this as an argument to stop BF.

The WHO recommends exclusive BF for the first 6 months and then BF alongside food for ‘up to’ 2 years or beyond. There is evidence that breastfeeding reduces your risk of developing various cancers, and the longer you feed, the more you reduce your risk. It isn’t bad for you.

The only person I would discuss this with is my partner. Anyone else would be told to it’s none of their business.

If your partner thinks it’s “weird” I can only suggest that they examine why they think that and do some of their own research.

It works for you, and it works for baby, so there isn’t really anything else to discuss.

Do what you and your child want, and sod everyone else. My first daughter carried on until after she was 4 and my second until she was 3, with a year of tandem nursing in the middle.

Nothing bad happened to any of us. 🙂

My son still had one bf a day at 3 years old before bed. Stopped at that age, however I would have been really hurt if my family had shamed me for it. My daughter stopped at 12 months old, as that was her decision, she just didn't want it anymore. Every child is different. Your family suck for making you feel bad about it. You're doing a great job.

I’m BF my 15mo with no plans to stop. It’s so useful as you say!! Brilliant way to reconnect now I’m going back to work - makes sleep a breeze - when they’re ill - the list goes on. I’d be so disappointed if DP wasn’t supportive, but would keep going regardless!

BF is good for you as well - as PPs have said, every year you BF further reduces your risk of breast and ovarian cancer, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis etc etc.

The average age for children to wean in hunter gatherer societies (ie the way humans lived for most of our history) is around 3-7yo I believe. It’s many of us in the West who have weird attitudes to BF! A baby being too attached 😂

I breastfed untill 2.5 and almost 5!

I got comments about stopping with my second. I just rolled my eyes and carried on.

Ignore, ignore, ignore!

It's really none of their business.

My 20 month old is still bf for similar reasons. He actually feeds more than yours if its available to him. Often it's the only thing that soothes him. And it's a superpower of he hurts himself or something. Don't stop unless and until one of you wants to. That's honestly the only thing you need to consider.

Meh it works for you and DC so they can F off.

None of anyone else’s business. I don’t get why others see it as their place to comment.

Follow your heart OP.

You and DS sound like you've got things sorted and that suits you all. Your parents will have to wait and your friends are probably jealous. 17 months - he is still a baby. I think, as you have said, 2 - 2.5 years to wean him off. But if you want to keep feeding for longer then do that!

I found the phrase "fuck off" useful in this scenario. I also threatened violence on my brother when he joked about bitty from little Britain when I was feeding a 1 year old(never forgiving Walliams for that either). My kids weaned fine at 2.5, do not have teeth issues and learned to sleep by themselves just fine.

I breast feed my 2 and 4 month old, no plans to stop anytime soon. You have to do what is right for you and little one, and ignore anyone who pressurises you into doing something you don't want to do.

Check out Emma Pickett on insta. She is a fabulous lactation consultant who specialises in natural terms breastfeeding and gentle weaning, at a time right for mother and nursling.
https://www.instagram.com/emmapickettibclc?igsh=bnNwdjJ5b3BrMGxr

You're doing a lovely thing and its sad and annoying to hear how so many people are being negative about it.As hard as it is, try not to let them get under your skin.
He is still so young anyway! The official health guidance is to breastfeed til at least 2yo for optimum health benefits.

I breastfed both my girls til they were 3.5/4. Out and about til about 18mths/2.From 2ish I stopped at night time feeds as it was quite disruptive for my/their sleep, and just did first thing in morning/evening feeds, and then only evening until stopping.Stopping was still my choice though....at 4.5 and 8.5 both would probably still be going now if I let them! Lol.People probably judged me for it behind closed doors but never dared to to my face.DH liked it as he got out of doing night feeds/bedtime settling for a long time!

If you and him enjoy it, carry on.... X

Fuck em, fuck the lot of em, your child isn’t even 1.5 … the fact that their argument is your child is happy settled and well attached? Twats!!

You are not being unreasonable at all. For your and your little one's health, the world health organisation recommends breastfeeding until at least 2 years old, does your partner know that? Don't listen to the family members and friends, it is none of their business. It's completely natural to be breastfeeding a toddler. And it works for you. You have to do what's right for you and your family. I was the same and fed both of mine until they were nearly 3 as did many mums I know. There is no reason to stop right now if it's working for you.

I bf for about 10/12 months each time. Would love to go back for an evening cuddling and bf my baby. Keep going as long as it suits you and your little one

I would start getting pissed off to be honest. It's none of any of their businesses. ' do you have an opinion on how long everyone breastfeeds their child for, or is just me? Would you like my opinion on how long your child was breastfed for?' ' did you mean to tell me how long to breastfeed my child for there?' and for DH tell.him he should be celebrating and thanking you for every day you've breastfed and his attitude now is disrespectful and belittling of your achievement

If you and your little boy are happy, carry on. No one else's business. My little girl stopped at 18 months but that was her choice, I was quite happy to continue

If he goes down fine for your husband why does he only put him down occasionally? Is the issue actually that you are still BF or he is wanting to be more involved in general parenting and the BF appears to be creating a barrier to that? (Whether in your husbands opinion or whether you are of the mindset you need to put DS down because of the BF).

DD is 15m and I am still BF, my wife puts her down no probs with a bottle too tho so we do still get to equally parent. I am not saying it’s wrong if you want to continue to BF to sleep every night, just might be worth a discussion about the root of this issue with BF?

You're basically doing the exact same thing as the people in op's life pressurising her to give up. She has said she doesn't want to. That's all anyone needs to know.

OP - I breastfed mine until 9 months, 11 months and 23 months. Maternity leave was a lot shorter in those days (4 months, 6 months and 7 months respectively) and my supply tended to dry up once I was back at work so I couldn't keep going as long as I wanted to with the first two. I was working mornings only with the youngest so I could go on longer.

The number of people who believed they were entitled to an opinion was astounding. Most people were fine up to 3 months, they kept their mouths shut up to 6 months, the questions started about when are you moving up a bottle then. Post 12 months, you would think I was feeding a teenager with the reaction some people had. I would have hoped people would have had a bit more cop on these days (my youngest is 22) but obviously not. Ignore them.

I find it so weird that people can act like this, it’s a huge cultural problem IMO. Sucks that you’re going through that especially when your child is only 17 months old! I breastfed my first until she was 3!! I found with the first it’s all about setting your standard and for the next one they won’t bat and eyelid they just know what to expect in your parenting decisions.

This.
I fed until 4 (latter 2 years was minimum but daily to settle/comfort.
The breastfeeding network is a good resource for information and reassurance.
Milk teeth get their name for a reason- they don’t start falling out until 5+
💐

I am not going to comment on breastfeeding at 18 months.

The end.

i fixed it for you.

I recently stopped breastfeeding my nearly 2 year old. He was poorly at the weekend (first time really poorly with a sickness bug and I honestly think bf had given him extra protection) and I felt so guilty that I couldn’t just whip out a boob and feed him/ comfort him.

I had the same pressure to stop but ultimately stopped when I felt ready- he wasn’t sleeping at night and I wasn’t sleeping at night!

Enjoy your bf journey op! You are doing amazing ❤️

I fed my daughter till the day she turned 3 (pretty sure the milk dried up a few weeks before but she did it for comfort 🤣). Absolutely keep going until you're both ready, it'll happen naturally anyway.

My 8 year old only breastfed to 11 months but I was 5 months pregnant with his sister so my milk dried up/was so sore. Both of them are equally as attached to me and I regularly joke they'd still be attached via cord if they could! Keep going and tell them to mind their business. Well done for getting to 17 months too!

If you want to continue then do so, it's not really anyone's business but your own.

I stopped bf during the day at 3 and before and during the night at 4 just before school started. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.