To not want to stop BF 17 month old

[Sunny123Skies67]

I'm starting to get a lot of pressure to wean DS. From my own parents, my partner, and now even friends who I have confided to. Everyone thinks it's weird and bad for me, although I have not complained. Everyone now makes jokes about me BF him on his first day of school 😥

I only BF morning and evening and for naps, when I'm not at work. Never out and about. He eats a lot of food and has a great diet.

But it's so fucking useful. It puts him to sleep INSTANTLY. "Bedtime" takes 5 minutes. I don't have to rock and sing or whatever. It helps with teething. He sleeps 10.5 hours straight usually, but when he does ocasionally wake (around 4/5am), a quick boob puts him back to sleep.

He was a terrible sleeper 6-13 months (he took teething very badly) so I'm afraid to change something that works so well.

He loves nursing late afternoon or if he's overstimulated, it's like a little zen moment for him.

His nanny or his dad do ocasionally put him to bed at night, it's not a problem. I don't feel tied down. But his dad is now using this as an argument to stop BF.

Breastfeed your child as long as you want.
It is not anyone else’s business.
Join the FB group “Breastfeeding Older Babies and beyond” for support.
The WHO recommends breastfeeding children until they are “two years old and beyond”
Stick to your guns and do not be bullied into stopping.
This article is fully referenced and was written for GPs on the benefits of breastfeeding beyond infancy.
https://abm.me.uk/breastfeeding-information/breastfeeding-beyond-infancy-a-gp-guide/

I breastfed my eldest until 20 months when my milk dried up (which was only because I was 3 months pregnant with number 2).

No shame. Have a 6 and 4 year old now and still miss whipping a boob out at bedtime to get them to settle!

Keep going until it’s not right for you and/or your child doesn’t need it. No other reason.

Can you send your partner information on the health benefits to you and baby? It’s completely up to you and your baby when you’re ready to stop, don’t stop for anyone else as you may feel regret or resentment later down the line if your breastfeeding journey ends sooner than you’d like.

My toddler has just weaned at 27 months as I’m pregnant and he’s almost immediately just got his first ear infection! Ideally I’d have at least got him through the rest of winter as it’s so good for their immunity. You sound like a great mum! ❤️

I breastfed my son until he was around 4 and my daughter until she was 3. Both stopped after I'd been away for a (different) weekend without them.

I gave zero f*cks what anyone else thought but it wasn't something I openly discussed. When both were above 2 I would've limited nursing to naptimes, bedtimes or emergencies.

Very much like you - it was mainly a convenience and, for my kids, very much a comfort. If they were sick or hurt breastfeeding soothed them. My husband and close family could see how important it was to my kids so left me to it.

Ignore your husband and parents/in-laws. Keep on doing what works for you and YOUR baby.

I breastfed all of mine until they self weaned, so 20 months (I was pregnant and I guess they didn't like the change), 3 years and 4 years. I have the most confident independent kids ever and have no regrets

I had this with my first. At 12 to 18 months the inlaws both old and young were horrified and quite vocal about it. But it was like once they realised I wasn't listening or that DD was developing well they just gave up saying anything and ignored it. I fed her till 3.5. They never said anything about my second and my SIL fed her second for much longer too after thinking it was odd when I fed DD1 at the same age! I like to think I educated them by example!

Yanbu as it is working well for you both.

I bf until just short of 3. It felt like the right time but I do miss it. I didn’t really talk to anyone about it except one colleague who also bf her child until about 2.5. My husband knew obviously and I think he was quite uncomfortable about it as he had anticipated I would stop at around 1. He did see the benefits though and apart from asking me occasionally about my plans for weaning, he let me get on with it. No idea what my family or in-laws would have thought about it.

You’ll know when you’re done OP.
Ignore them all.

It is working wonderfully for you and your child so carry on as as you are. Why throw the dice by upsetting their routine and risking a terrible sleeper if you don't want or need to? You might end up seriously regretting it.

I just kept repeating to people "I'm choosing to follow the NHS and World Health Organisation's advice to breastfeeding to two or beyond. It's working really well for me and baby and I'm really happy how things are".

Given you have a Nanny who does bed time why not just leave her and dad to it for a week or two and do something else so you're not available yo BF?

Because she doesn't want to...

The nanny covers my working hours. She's only there at bedtime if we ask her to work overtime, ocasionally. Whenever I say I have a nanny, I swear people think I must never see or care for my child. She actually leaves before I even come home from work most days.

And the entire point of my post is that I don't want to.

Don't then.

It really is NOBODY else’s business how long you breastfeed. People who criticise you for this usually have ulterior motives.

Yanbu

I fed mine till they decided to wean, which was age 8 and 6 respectively.

17 months is so young!! I didn't even nightwean my youngest at that age.

Ignore your family, don't try to argue it with them, just ignore them.

The minimum recommended age to feed to is age 2. Your baby’s immune system is still developing. 17 months is so young. Just ignore them they clearly know nothing about BF.

Next time they comment I’d say well it’s reducing my ovarian and breast cancer risk so why would I stop now? It’s also preventing childhood leukaemia, helps their jaw and teeth develop properly and the anti bodies help my child recover from illnesses - surely you want that for your grandchild?

‘And is that cows breast milk in your tea?’ if they won’t shut up!

I recommend the Facebook group Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond. And calling the National Breastfeeding Helpline if you want a rant.

Absolutely keep doing it if it makes you happy! I stopped at 12 months with DC1 and DC2 because I wanted to get periods back to get pregnant again but with DC3 who I knew would be the last, we kept going till she was about 7 years old :)))))).
Only in the mornings - she would run up to my bed, at weekends or if she woke up early, and jump on me and do it. We both enjoyed it, it was like a special cuddle!
Now aged 10 she is very chilled, happy and well adjusted (as she was then!). So certainly did her no harm:)
I was not ashamed of it in slightest, but I didn't broadcast it outside the house. That would be my advice to you. If you want to get friends etc off your back, why are you telling them?! If it doesn't happen in public, nobody outside your home needs to know - people are stupid and will always mock was is seen as even slightly outside the norm.

Tell em to fuck right off. 17 months is nothing. World health organisation recommends up to 6 years old.

Ignore ignore ignore. I was under the same pressure and simply started to ignore any comments, they were met with complete silence or I would turn my back and leave the room. Eventually, they gave up. Not their fucking business!

WHO recommends up to age 2 as a minimum before it’s no longer beneficial

He will most lightly stop himself as his mouth will change once all back teeth come in about
3 1/2 it’s up to you. Tell them your going to keep going for now and readdress it after all winter bugs are done. Or to mind there own.

I'm bf my 2y 1m old. Self-weaning has begun and I'm just going with it. 🤷‍♀️

I find it bizarre how many have voted you are being unreasonable..... It sounds like you work full time, other people can put him down for bedtime and naps and you can go out / go away for a night / few nights if you need to..... And so how is this a problem!? I'm still bf my 16 month old and I really don't think anyone could care less as I'm similarly to you, just naps when I put her down etc. The WHO guidance is bf till 2 if both child and mother want to..... Your parents are being very unreasonable.

I didn't think I'd breastfeed past one year, but my son is 2.5 and still going! Like you for naps and first thing in the morning and bedtime. It puts him to sleep instantly and I love having a cuddle with him.

I know ppl who breastfed to 3/4. Honestly I just wouldn't mention it to friends. Everyone apart from my mum has presumed I've stopped. I'm a single mum and so getting him to sleep easily is really helpful as I'm exhausted by the end of the day. And it gives him comfort. We'll wean when we're ready.

What exactly is annoying your partner about it? Ask him to clearly articulate why he wants you to stop and talk through the reasons. Just because he says so, or thinks it's weird isn't a goof enough reason in my opinion.

Have you listened to the podcast Makes Milk by Emma Pickett. It's all about natural term breastfeeding and it put my mind at ease