To not want to stop BF 17 month old

[Sunny123Skies67]

I'm starting to get a lot of pressure to wean DS. From my own parents, my partner, and now even friends who I have confided to. Everyone thinks it's weird and bad for me, although I have not complained. Everyone now makes jokes about me BF him on his first day of school 😥

I only BF morning and evening and for naps, when I'm not at work. Never out and about. He eats a lot of food and has a great diet.

But it's so fucking useful. It puts him to sleep INSTANTLY. "Bedtime" takes 5 minutes. I don't have to rock and sing or whatever. It helps with teething. He sleeps 10.5 hours straight usually, but when he does ocasionally wake (around 4/5am), a quick boob puts him back to sleep.

He was a terrible sleeper 6-13 months (he took teething very badly) so I'm afraid to change something that works so well.

He loves nursing late afternoon or if he's overstimulated, it's like a little zen moment for him.

His nanny or his dad do ocasionally put him to bed at night, it's not a problem. I don't feel tied down. But his dad is now using this as an argument to stop BF.

They insist he is too attached to me and I'm too attached to him.

This is heartbreaking. He's your baby! Of course you're supposed to be attached to one another. I would not be taking parenting advice from your parents.

You feed for as long as you want to. I fed my eldest for 27 months (he chose to stop when my milk changed during pregnancy) and my youngest for 3.5 years. Like you, I was perfectly able to go out without them. I worked part time, had the ocassional evening out, and even a couple of nights away with friends. My youngest was a year into school nursery - doesn't mean I was 'feeding her at the school gates' as people love to say - but it was such a lovely way to connect when we got home.

It sounds like you're doing this on your own, outside of the 'norm' for your peers, which is brave and admirable.
In my circle, extended breastfeeding was and is really, really common (from mums who bottle fed from very early on to mums who nurse their 6 year olds - truly anything goes). I never felt judged for it at all. I would find yourself some friends who are breastfeeding. If you can find a local BF group, or something like a sling group you will find lots of like-minded families.

My youngest is now 10 and the most confident and resourceful child. Breastfeeding my children for as long as I did is one of my happiest memories and a great source of pride.

I’m still BF DC3 who is about to turn 2 and I’m 20 weeks pregnant with DC4. The majority of my mum friends BF and a couple stopped around 18 months (for pregnancy) but the majority fed for 2+ years. No one else has tandem fed though which think is the way I’m going. I have zero pressure from friends.

My parents are a bit judgemental but I rarely see them. My DH’s mum definitely wants me to stop for a number of similar reasons to your parents and because she believes it unhealthy for my pregnancy.

I’ve never left DC3 overnight and am deeply attached. It’s culturally normal for DH’s mum to take DC for long periods, even abroad back to her home country for 6 months or so at a time. It’s not happening and it is BFing that’s stopping that. She keeps ‘joking’ about having DC3 full-time when DC4 is born and definitely wants me to wean to facilitate that. I personally prefer to have all my children with me whilst until they decide for themselves to have a sleepover with a relative

It is not BF that is stopping that*

Just rtft and saw you have a similar culture mix in your family.

DH is British born and culturally mixed I suppose but has no interest in being separated from DC in the same way he and his sister were from their parents. DH’s cousins are all in the familiy’s home country and have one child each with 4 active grandparents. One cousin was so inspired by our last visit watching us care for 3DC and knowing we do it all alone in the UK with professional jobs and no support that he sent his parents home to try out raising his child just him and his wife. We didn’t learn this until months later but they did it for two weeks before calling them back. Sounds so lovely to live in a multigenerational home where you all support each other that much and I am envious of that aspect of the culture in a way. It did make us chuckle when he called to tell us how tiring raising one child in full-time education for two weeks was though, haha.

It’s not easy to navigate. Keep doing your thing OP

Still going here with my 21 month old and currently pregnant with my second. No intention to stop and planning to tandem feed unless the pregnancy or self weaning stops that. In fact I’m actually more insistent on keeping going whilst pregnant (whilst I can) as a new baby will bring enough change for DC1 as it is!

Works for us, no one else’s business. Keep going- you’re doing great.

Op, do what works best for you but just putting it out there. Sat in a south London cafe and 2 women on a sofa type chairs sitting. One has a 5-6 month old baby on the boob and the other had a 2 year old plus on her boob. He was nearly half the height of his mother…. It looked off!!

You don't need to say everything you think out loud by the way. It's OK to keep your stupid thoughts to yourself. Just putting it out there.

There's nothing "off" about breastfeeding a 2 year old.

I stopped when I kept getting bitten. Painful! But if it weren’t for that, would have kept going. Ignore the critics. Your child, your decision.

It's opinions like that that cause breast feeding mums to second guess themselves. No one should be judged for how they feed and care for their child. You "putting it out there" does nothing positive. Absolutely nothing.

Your partner and your parents and friends that have made negative comments aren't familiar with current breastfeeding guidelines, so why would you listen to them?

Literally BFing my nearly 2.5 year old right now. F**k what they think! Like a PP says, why not say to them, 'oh, what a quaint/archaic opinion, you do know the WHO advocate it until 2 and beyond!'

Shut.it.down RIGHT AWAY.... you don't want this to set a president for them thinking they can have a day/ get you questioning your judgement throughout your baby's childhood!

Maybe if more people did it in public it wouldn't look so off to you.
Fair play to that mum, comforting her child and putting their needs ahead of any randoms she'll probably not see again. 🙌

Same to you.

Very quickly shown your true colours there...

So much for "do what works for you" lol

This makes me so angry!!! My in-laws were like this. They also blamed my breastfeeding on the fact we wouldn’t leave DC with them overnight. They soon lost interest in her once the realised they wouldn’t get their own way, to the point they haven’t even met our other DC because their behaviour became so ridiculous. So thank goodness we are so attached to our children!! They’re supposed to be well attached to you, it helps their development!!

a quick boob puts him back to sleep.

My husband is like that.

You sound like a really good mum! It’s hard not to listen to people close to you but you are doing what is right for you & your baby.

I find that hard to believe. How can you force a child to latch on if they don’t want to?!

I breastfed until my child was nearly 4. It’s completely normal and, I believe, recommended. It was completely child led.

I fed my youngest until he was nearly 5, so he had started school before he stopped, but nobody really knew. DH was supportive. I don't know if parents/PIL were, but they had the sense to keep it to themselves if they weren't. DS had stayed the night with my parents occasionally with no problem.

Some people just aren't used to people feeding beyind 12 months and so think it's odd rather than perfectly normal and very handy at times!

I manage people. I’ve just done an updated work place risk assessment (required where we work) for someone breast feeding their near 3 year old. Breast feed as long as you want for as long as suits you. Don’t give in to pressure. I had a baby who was 10lb+ at birth. My mum insisted breast feeding couldn’t give him what he needed despite him getting bigger each week. It’s old thinking. I did, however, leave him overnight from a young age for my own mental health and this was ok too. Different choices for different people, circumstances and family.

Don’t give in to this pressure @Sunny123Skies67 it is very wrong of anyone to criticise you for this. I had a similar experience with people referencing the Little Britain character and it was horrible. I carried on until my DS was nearly 3. It is an absolutely amazing salve for all ills and stresses, no regrets, you just carry on for as long as is right for the both of you which seems to be about 3. As my old HV once said, you will not be visiting the school at playtime to put your tits through the fence!

Still breastfeeding my nearly 2.5 year old here. I think I am nearly ready to stop but finding it hard as I know she is my last baby and I will really miss it. People who have never done it just really struggle to understand how special it can be. You keep going as long as you and your little one want.

The benefits of so called extended breastfeeding - ie the normal natural length and so many and varied. Go for it.

It’s mental so much pressure to start breastfeeding then blink and it’s so much pressure to stop.

You are doing the best thing for your baby and anyone who can’t see that lacks information or critical thinking. You do you. I did with mine. ❤️

He’s your baby. You’ll never get these moments back so saviour every single one and do what’s best for you and babe! Sod everyone else x