First date ick - am I being a princess?

[Brummytobites]

I’ve gotten the ick today and I’m a bit gutted. Speaking to someone new, it’s all been very fast paced as in talking 24/7, emotionally sharing, he’s invited me on a date for the first day we chatted, I’ve held off for what is now just over 4 weeks.

We’re supposed to be going out in our city centre this weekend. Booked the table at a great and very fancy restaurant that we both like a couple of weeks back, kept having to amend the date as he was suggesting seeing me sooner but I’ve held firm on leaving it a few weeks, only to now find he’s messed up the booking and there’s no space available for the day we’d planned. He’s now frantically suggesting various other places but they are much more casual. I’m annoyed. I’d ordered a new - very dressy - outfit. Booked in my nails etc. made a real effort.

I feel bitchy for saying I don’t want to go to any of these places but equally why should I lower my standards? I was looking forward to a weekend dinner and drinks at a lively place. The date place is somewhere I can and do go alone with friends and family so it’s not like I’m relying on a meal ticket, it’s definitely a “destination bar/restaurant” He’s a little bit insecure and seems to be seeking my assurance that he’s not annoyed me frequently - which up to now he hasn’t - so I think he can tell I’m a little ticked off and I’m feeling very awkward about even raising the issue.

I realise this sounds silly but it’s really annoyed me. This guy has basically been saying he’s ready do give me the world for the past month and banged on about liking the same places and his general generosity. What would you do? AIBU to expect someone to be more organised and meet my expectations?

I realise this sounds silly...

Thank goodness for that! Nice to hear you came to your senses!

You're not a princess but YABU.

What a game you played. Poor guy. He honestly is better without you. You seem very petty to me.

I think your ick is actually your intuition telling you he's a liar. He didn't want to go to this more expensive restaurant and was only saying he liked the same things as you to reel you in. Follow your gut.

Yes, you are very much being a princess. But you need to find someone that puts up with that. You value high end restaurants over and above other stuff. It's who you are, accept it l, dump him and move on.

I don't think messing up a restaurant reservation is a good look, nor is pressuring you to meet at a time you don't want.

Just walk away. Who gives a fuck, you have never even met him.

You must be extremely good looking to be able to have this attitude and guys still coming chasing.

You sound like a complete Diva

Haven’t read the whole thread but you got the “ick” because he made a mistake and messed up a booking and yet still tried to find a place to have a date.

I don’t like to judge but you sound a terrible person.

I assume you’d expect him to pay and want a serious discussion about the boats.

🎻

You are being a princess and you sound very high maintenance. I’m sure there are other equally nice places to go to.
What concerns me is that you seem to want this to be your dream first date. We all want to make a good impression at the first date and perhaps you are coming across as someone who expects perfection and that is why he’s apologising so much.

I wouldn't be committing to spending that amount of time with someone I've never met in real life. You may have been chatting for a few weeks online but that's not real life. Maybe he thinks the same and why he didn't book. I wouldn't be meeting for more than a coffee on a first blind date.

Yup.

I was going to say ditch him. He must be desperate to put up with this level of shenanigans!

Honestly this makes you sound like hard work. If he was my brother or friend I'd tell him to step away now.

If you're as fake in real life as you appear in this thread, I think you'd be better off dating an AI bot rather than some hapless human being.

I can understand you've both chosen to dress up and look your finest for your first date. You want to make the best first impression. But if you're not happy with the alternative restaurants he's suggesting, why don't you find an option you are happy with?
To mirror previous posts, you are behaving like a princess and you do seem more interested in the setting and showing off your new dress than meeting him...
Ait feels like you're more concerned about what you're going to put on your socials as opposed to giving any attention to the man sitting opposite you

Yeah that’s not the ick though.

Definitely call ioff the date — do the poor man the kindness he doesn’t even know he needs. He’ll stroll on, blissfully unaware that he neatly sidestepped a steaming turd, and you won’t have to endure the crisis of dining even a fraction below your meticulously self‑appointed class. A win on all fronts, really.”

What sort of place is it you’re meeting at that only has one classy restaurant? I’m not sure if you’re serious or a troll lol.

Yes you are being a princess.

You say clearly what you want.
He claims to want the same.
He tries to talk you into changing your mind, assuming that if he blathers enough he can talk you into doing what he wants.
You get irritated but he fails to notice, just keeps going on his track.
He messes up the one practical task he had, and still thinks he can chat you up and get you to fit in with what he wants.
Don't waste any more time on him.

But think about some of the advice on here when sussing out the next one - meet them in a more low-key way first, and waste less energy on ones like this.
You might find good-quality therapy helps - I don't quite know how, but a lot of us say the same - it changes the sort of men we get off with.

The point is. It’s about him, not where you are. First meet should have been a coffee or light lunch. You don’t even know if you like each other yet so a fine dining restaurant is totally inappropriate. You are very much being a princess yes! I’ll bet you were expecting him to foot the whole bill too??? If I were him, I’d run a mile tbh

you sound very shallow and i think he should run

I think he has got the ick from all the high faluting demands and is suggesting a less fancy restaurant to see if it’s actually him she’s into or the status.

i guess he’s got his answer.

Yes, sure did. Horrific stuff. Pardon the pun. But so shocking.

Yes, you are being a princess. I think I would set him free now and not waste any more if his time.

Trust Fund
6’5”
Blue eyes

Am I asking too much?