First date ick - am I being a princess?

[Brummytobites]

I’ve gotten the ick today and I’m a bit gutted. Speaking to someone new, it’s all been very fast paced as in talking 24/7, emotionally sharing, he’s invited me on a date for the first day we chatted, I’ve held off for what is now just over 4 weeks.

We’re supposed to be going out in our city centre this weekend. Booked the table at a great and very fancy restaurant that we both like a couple of weeks back, kept having to amend the date as he was suggesting seeing me sooner but I’ve held firm on leaving it a few weeks, only to now find he’s messed up the booking and there’s no space available for the day we’d planned. He’s now frantically suggesting various other places but they are much more casual. I’m annoyed. I’d ordered a new - very dressy - outfit. Booked in my nails etc. made a real effort.

I feel bitchy for saying I don’t want to go to any of these places but equally why should I lower my standards? I was looking forward to a weekend dinner and drinks at a lively place. The date place is somewhere I can and do go alone with friends and family so it’s not like I’m relying on a meal ticket, it’s definitely a “destination bar/restaurant” He’s a little bit insecure and seems to be seeking my assurance that he’s not annoyed me frequently - which up to now he hasn’t - so I think he can tell I’m a little ticked off and I’m feeling very awkward about even raising the issue.

I realise this sounds silly but it’s really annoyed me. This guy has basically been saying he’s ready do give me the world for the past month and banged on about liking the same places and his general generosity. What would you do? AIBU to expect someone to be more organised and meet my expectations?

Rarely have I ever come across such a non-issue.
Why would you even have to ask opinions?
It's completely nuts. It should be about the chemistry between 2 people and your ability to make the best of situations when they don't turn out as expected.

It's not a case of lowering your standards at all.
I'd say. It's more about upping your manners. p

I think to be honest hes realised what hes getting himself into.you are too high maintenance and expect too much from him
Imagine all this pressure and stress ahead of the first date! Ridiculous

At this rate ull be single forever!

Have you actually met the guy?

Have you actually met the guy?

He's dodged a bullet here!

I can see why you're single (sorry not helpful)

I would be because I much prefer M&C to more "fancy" places.

The fact is he told her he likes the same standards as her, agreed to it, then didn't follow through and changed the goal posts. She's allowed to be miffed.

To be honest yes I would cancel the date for his sake

And?

Better single with high standards than settling for a man who'll make you miserable.

You are being ridiculous. There isn't much else to say. You think you're something special because you like the finer things in life. Not sure what response you expected here, but yes of course you're being unreasonable (for several different reasons).

I go to Michelin star restaurants but I'm also perfectly happy going to Nando's or Costa. Stop being a snob.

Don't go on the date, he's dodging a bullet.

Also as a mother of a DS I wouldn’t want you dating my son .

If some guy online I hadn’t met yet was ringing me and doing a baby voice I’d definitely have an ick. Block, delete and move on.

I hope this guy meets someone lovely for whom just spending time with a person is more important than a fancy venue!

With his needy behaviour and baby voice when he's told he's messed up, I'm sure he'll find someone lovely...

How rude are you! Imagine saying someone couldn't change plans because you're ND and then being snotty about someone's reading.

Have you considered your explanation was inadequate? And in fact, all you've done is backtrack and provide different reasons for your ire, when it's been pointed out again and again YABU.

Im ND and its not a reason to sit there being rude to people after you solicited opinions on a situation.

If the changing of plans was really the problem you wouldn't have detailed in length at various points that you have a certain lifestyle. You just sound like a nightmare person who blames it on ND which is unacceptable.

I think the OP is bound to say those things because she didn't get what she wanted!

Pretty sure she'd have noticed a 'baby voice' very early on during one of their Facetimes.

Not if he only breaks it out to cajole her into things.

It's like saying "why did you marry this man who behaves like this?". They usually don't show the behaviour until they think it's safe or warranted.

First date ick - am I being a princess?

Yes

I think you have every right to be annoyed at the plans falling flat and inferior places being offered up instead, not because I favour those, I don’t care, but it would be like a man telling you he was going to buy you a wonderful diamond ring then when you got there he showed you a tray of cubic zirconias. Maybe you never cared about a diamond in the first place but it’s the alternative offering that is the red flag. Is this a man full of hot air and empty promises?

Although personally I think you’re on a hiding to nothing if you see and define yourself as high maintenance. No genuine man really wants that. It’s a turn off.

😂Nailed it on the first post!

There's nothing wrong with that poster's reading comprehension. You've just said that as they're right.

If OP had just come on and said "he said he'd booked, he hasn't and now he's trying to make me do something I'm not comfortable with", this thread would have been full of people telling her to chuck him back in the sea, highlighting his red flags etc.

Because she's specified what her standards are, they're all calling her spoilt because their preferences are different.

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to assume he was paying when you've said in your posts that he sees it as the man's role and is therefore presumably intending to pay. Many women (myself included) prefer to pay their own way but also don't want to be rude if the man insists.

"can’t wait to kiss me" this is super entitled behaviour. How arrogant.

“I have met someone on instagram who has pertained to be compatible with me in a […] level” is not a grammatically correct sentence and doesn’t really make sense.

I agree with others though, if you don’t like him at this point what’s the point for either of you to continue?

Also: i have spent my life substituting my other half and my friends

Yet accused a pp of lacking reading comprehension.