Page 24 | First date ick - am I being a princess?

InMyOodie · 27/01/2026 00:26

What a waste of time messaging and face timing for four weeks before bothering to meet him. You could have established a month ago with one coffee that he wasn't for you.

It sounds like he was all talk with the 'spoiling you' stuff. Now he says he can't get a booking at a nice place and wants to go somewhere cheap. Broke?

Lisajp749 · 27/01/2026 00:27

Why didn’t you book the place? If you know what it is you want and like, you’re clearly an independent woman that wants a man who matches her life preferences- finer things and making the effort etc. so why did you leave this to him?

you could have booked it no?

silverwrath · 27/01/2026 00:33

Brummytobites · 26/01/2026 15:01

I’ve gotten the ick today and I’m a bit gutted. Speaking to someone new, it’s all been very fast paced as in talking 24/7, emotionally sharing, he’s invited me on a date for the first day we chatted, I’ve held off for what is now just over 4 weeks.

We’re supposed to be going out in our city centre this weekend. Booked the table at a great and very fancy restaurant that we both like a couple of weeks back, kept having to amend the date as he was suggesting seeing me sooner but I’ve held firm on leaving it a few weeks, only to now find he’s messed up the booking and there’s no space available for the day we’d planned. He’s now frantically suggesting various other places but they are much more casual. I’m annoyed. I’d ordered a new - very dressy - outfit. Booked in my nails etc. made a real effort.

I feel bitchy for saying I don’t want to go to any of these places but equally why should I lower my standards? I was looking forward to a weekend dinner and drinks at a lively place. The date place is somewhere I can and do go alone with friends and family so it’s not like I’m relying on a meal ticket, it’s definitely a “destination bar/restaurant” He’s a little bit insecure and seems to be seeking my assurance that he’s not annoyed me frequently - which up to now he hasn’t - so I think he can tell I’m a little ticked off and I’m feeling very awkward about even raising the issue.

I realise this sounds silly but it’s really annoyed me. This guy has basically been saying he’s ready do give me the world for the past month and banged on about liking the same places and his general generosity. What would you do? AIBU to expect someone to be more organised and meet my expectations?

'it’s all been very fast paced as in talking 24/7, emotionally sharing,'

'He’s a little bit insecure and seems to be seeking my assurance that he’s not annoyed me frequently'

Hard pass. But that's just me.

WiseAdviceNeededPlease · 27/01/2026 00:33

Yes you are being a Princess

madaboutpurple · 27/01/2026 00:56

If it was me going I would prefer to meet up for a coffee a few times before meeting for a meal because you can suss each other out and then find out if a meal date would be too long. Meeting for coffee places a limit on time and money and could be a good idea. You might then want to meet for a meal at a later date.

PhaedraWas · 27/01/2026 01:04

WiseAdviceNeededPlease · 27/01/2026 00:33

Yes you are being a Princess

And anyone using the word "ick" makes me cringe. I'd drop you for that.

DeepRubySwan · 27/01/2026 01:19

You sound like a PITA but then why not? Men will rise to your expectations and offer you the lowest of them in my experience. So good on I suppose. It's only downhill after dating anyway so get the nice meals while you can!

MidnightMeltdown · 27/01/2026 01:29

patooties · 27/01/2026 00:07

I’m about 100 posts in and laughing my head off at you both.
he sounds like a weekend millionaire and you sound like you’d be impressed by his turkey teeth and too short too tight pants and weird slip on shoes.

in real life people don’t move like this - it’s fake a hell.

I have an image in my head of OP turning up dressed like Katie Price when she married Peter Andre 😂

Picklelily99 · 27/01/2026 01:39

You sound like hard work. He's not for you.

ItsameLuigi · 27/01/2026 02:22

magicstar1 · 26/01/2026 15:24

I can't understand you delaying for a month before going on a first date. All this "talking" online just gets too intense, and gives a feeling of being in a relationship when you haven't even met. Years ago you'd meet someone while out, have a chat and he'd ask you out. Then you go on your first date. It makes a lot more sense.

Hilariously this is how I met my partner 2 years ago. I was on a date with someone I'd met online, having some drinks at the local alt bar. Then my now partner approached me to sit with "us" and well, the rest is history 😂

liveforsummer · 27/01/2026 02:26

All seems way too much for a first date. You can’t know anyone til you meet them. Have a more casual date asap and the table cOld be booked for next time if he turns out to be worth the expense and effort

ScaredOfFlying · 27/01/2026 02:27

If you wait a couple of weeks I am sure Katie Price’s new husband will be available again.

Ukefluke · 27/01/2026 03:28

Goog god. You are high maintainance. I hope he runs for the hills. Poor guy

Ukefluke · 27/01/2026 03:30

Brummytobites · 26/01/2026 15:07

The reason this place was chosen was because during talking we’d both expressed how we like the finer things in life.

if I eat out multiple times a week (as does he) why wouldn’t you want a first date to be a bit special? I’m not going somewhere I’d go on a Tuesday afternoon and calling it an occasion

Its not an "occasion". Its a casual date with an online random you have never met.

LucyLoo1972 · 27/01/2026 04:03

JerryTubs · 26/01/2026 22:08

Nailed it.

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yes - my husband never kept his word an it led to me having a terrible breakdown

PloddingAlong21 · 27/01/2026 04:35

You’re high maintenance and sound a bit money grabbing. I think he’s dodged a bullet if you opt out now. Yes you’re being a princess.

Highlighta · 27/01/2026 04:37

You mention an ex. I haven't read your other posts but I'm going with that didn't end very well as you were a bit used in that relationship regarding finances.

When moving on, it is very possible to be in high alert for the same issues you had in a previous relationship. In this case, perhaps the balance of finances.

So that part of this guy is attractive to you as he meets your wants/needs that you didn't have in your previous relationship.
You are ultra focused on this.

But, you may very well be under focused on other issues. Like him having to FaceTime you all the time. Talking 24/7. What is this all about? To me that is a way more major starting out issue than him being on the same wavelength with finances and where to eat.

Iroll · 27/01/2026 04:40

I think we need to break down what's happening here. He promised something and could not deliver. I think the value of the date and the effort is obviously important to you, which might not be important to others so I think people are saying you are being unreasonable. However It appears on the surface he was willing to put in the effort but then a "simple mistake" has made it come crashing down! but unfortunately this sounds like so many marriages and the key really is his other behaviour consistent? Is he constantly promising the world but not delivering? Is he maybe testing you? Do you like him enough to give him another chance? He said he wants to make it up to you, but has he actually come up with any suggestions? I personally think if you have that much of an ick, then listen to yourself, make it clear with him why and then end it. I am all about listening to your gut instincts. Or give him another date that you are available and see if he can make an effort.

aurynne · 27/01/2026 04:57

You're setting yourself up to meeting a psychopath.

Imisscoffee2021 · 27/01/2026 05:12

Brummytobites · 26/01/2026 15:11

I appreciate that’s how you like to date. But by the same appreciation, I don’t. Which is relevant in this case. The guy feels the same.

I would take offence to somebody wanting to see me so casually with such lack of effort. For me, dating is completely about making effort to pursue someone.

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Fair enough the world is full of people doing things differently. But if your way of dating begins in this complicated manner where the guy is held up to certain parameters that he has clearly tried to shift (ie meeting earlier, trying to fix an error and still see you albeit in a less showy setting) and still coming up short then it sounds like either you're not a good match or you need to be a little more flexible. A dress can be worn another time.

Making a physical first impression in a great dress in a great venue is cool, but surely the first impression has already been established in your communication with him? And dating being about "pursuing" suggests you think it's the man who should be doing this or you'd be pursuing him in return by being a bit more flexible and wanting to see him regardless of the venue if you've hit it off so well, no?

Scarfitwere · 27/01/2026 06:08

Brummytobites · 26/01/2026 15:24

Yes. He has FaceTimed me every opportunity he’s had which has been excessive tbh. At first it was nice but it’s become an expectation for multiple hours a day now

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BIG red flag. This is how people end up in abusive relationships

Mussol · 27/01/2026 06:16

The irony of complaining that anyone is clingy, craving emotional reassurance, and FaceTiming too often when you insisted on four solid weeks of online "emotional sharing" before you graciously deigned to meet him. If this is real, it's certainly a case of like attracting like.

ResultsMayVary · 27/01/2026 06:17

I'm curious on whether you've checked with the restaurant whether there are spare tables - I'm guessing he's lying given he didn't find a comparable restaurant

Redpaisley · 27/01/2026 06:18

Brummytobites · 26/01/2026 15:11

I appreciate that’s how you like to date. But by the same appreciation, I don’t. Which is relevant in this case. The guy feels the same.

I would take offence to somebody wanting to see me so casually with such lack of effort. For me, dating is completely about making effort to pursue someone.

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You asked if you are being a princess under aibu but now you are defending your position when posters don’t agree with you.

DrossofthedUrbervilles · 27/01/2026 06:20

TragicMuse · 26/01/2026 20:11

OP, I think you’re getting an unnecessary kicking, but it’s AIBU, and the gloves come off!

I’m going to take a different view to most of the comments here. I think he’s love-bombing you and is now seeing what you’ll tolerate when he doesn’t do what he said he would or has led you to expect.

He kept pushing for meeting sooner and making bookings when you’d been clear that you didn’t want to yet. Maybe hoping you’d buckle and give in.

Now he’s not booked at all, again hoping you’ll compromise your expectations and standards.

He can say what he likes, it’s what he does that matters. And he’s fallen at the first fence. It’s a restaurant booking it’s not rocket science. And then he’s been sulky about you being less than enthusiastic about his fuck-up.

If it was me and I was already disappointed, feeling pressured, and having huge claims on my time I’d be calling it off…

I don’t think you’re being a princess. But even if you are, we’re constantly told to know our worth, raise the bar etc etc. so if this is your line that’s absolutely fine. Be true to yourself.

Edited

Hard agree.

"not making an effort to meet the original standard"
That was the red flag for me. He has made out he's on board with your preferences, that he shares them, and has back tracked without acknowledging it. I think he's not the prince he makes himself out to be.

I say this as someone with a different lifestyle and approach to dating. It's not about the money, it's about being consistent about who you claim to be.

Edit: reread... I really think he is trying to take you down a peg or two, and is not up for you asserting what your wants are, but obviously won't come out and say it directly... yet. He'd probably wait until you were knee deep in the relationship and emotionally and practically compromised before openly dismissing you.