Older teens and junk food

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I'm at a bit of a loss as to whether I'm being unreasonable or not.

I try and keep junk food, crisps, snacks, sweets, fizzy drinks etc to a minimum in the house. Not in a controlling way, birthday or weekend treats, if we have someone round we will have stuff in but day to day snacks are fruit or yoghurt or some cheese and an oatcake. Now with older teens, they have their own income and often buy all of the above which the younger ones feel is very unfair and it causes a lot of issues.

I wish the older ones were making better choices (and no, this is not a response to not having ready daily access to junk food growing up, they did, probably more so than many would consider moderate) but they maintain they're nearly adults, it's their money and therefore theirs to spend on what they please. I've tried to maintain that under my roof certain rules apply, but it's proving a losing battle with takeaway deliveries and goodness knows what tempting younger ones into the older ones rooms. They often do share, but I don't want any of my kids eating that volume of crap.

After trying for months to reason with them I feel as though the next step is to confiscate and destroy on sight. If anyone has any better ideas I'd be keen to hear - or am I just a mad authoritarian?

I suppose the options are

YABU - it's their money, they're nearly adults, don't be such a control freak.

YANBU - your house, your rules, and you need to enforce them.

Of course you can’t tell them how to spend their money 🫣

Really? Am I that bonkers 😮

You are a mad authoritarian.

So how would this confiscation and destruction occur?

I’m with you op I wouldn’t be keen on this. Are they earning their own money? My 15yo knows I’d be cutting his pocket money if he came home with junk food and annoying younger siblings. Reality is he might buy a tube of Pringles and shovel it down sometimes but generally happy with the “free” snacks of fruit / cereal / toast.

If they are earning I’d be charging them dig money.

Are they eating decent and fresh meals day to day? Plenty of veg and fruit?

my youngest is 19 and eats good meals full of nutrients. He will then eat an entire tube of Pringles , loads of chocolate, all sorts. Doesn’t bother me.

it might do if his entire diet was poor or if he was overweight - is this the case with yours? If it was then I can understand wanting to try and limit the crap.

otherwise , no. Let them crack on and stop making a thing of it

Sorry this is very controlling.

it’ll lead to them eating it in the garden shed and hiding it from you.

I mean, I hope you’re joking?

How old are they? 17 ish? I suppose I’d ask them to limit it to once a week takeaway, since you’re the adult here and still have to parent them

Do you mean fruit, yoghurt, oatcakes etc are the only weekday snacks? No packet of crisps or a biscuit ever? If that's the case then I think it's inevitable the teens with their sudden found ability to eat whatever whenever will go through a rebellion. Not much you can do. Continue with your younger ones as you have been but maybe a little more wiggle room so they won't have the same need to explode into the world of endless junk when they have money.

This drives me up the wall with my nearly- 16 year old. His school bus drops him off opposite the village shop, so he will habitually consume a can of Monster and an entire packet of biscuits on the way home. Then he won't eat half the sensible dinner I cook him. XP- who also has an awful diet- gives him the bulk of his pocket money, so I can't even cut that. It's like having a massive toddler, but with far less control. I can only wait for the day he suddenly flips 180 and starts lecturing me about healthy eating 😆

How can you tell a 17yo how to spend their own income? 😬

Because if they live at home this is discretionary spending made available by the parents covering their living expenses

Err, no.

You cover their living expenses because you’re the parent and that’s your job 😂

Sorry, but you sound absolutely batshit. Tell your little kids that when they’re old enough to earn their own money, they can spend it on takeaways too.

Also will there be a list of contraband?

I feel like I’m coming across as a smartass here but I’m genuinely curious about how this would work.

Does this include replacing their clothes because they can't fit anything anymore?

I get it OP, but I'm not sure what you can realistically do. Mind, I've read this dilemma on MN a few times and I find it baffling. When I was a teen there was no way in hell I would waste my hard-earned money on takeaways - I needed it for clothes, CDs and socialising, because I didn't get any pocket money.

Is this phenomenon related to teens having more of an online social life these days, as well as being addicted to all the junk food? They don't feel the need to spend money on clothes or going out, because online is where it's at?

Whenever I watch channel 4 or whatever now, basically all the ads are for getting food delivered. It's mad.

I hear you OP but Im not sure what you can do.
My 13yo DS eats junk at school and calls in the shop on the way home to buy Doritos or Haribo. It's really frustrating as we've taught him all about nutrition and how what you eat affects your physical and mental health etc. but we cant fully control what he consumes. I just ensure the meals, snacks and drinks we provide are healthy (in the main -we obviously have treats too!) and hope that he'll learn as he gets older!

You are being controlling and unreasonable, sorry!

They are allowed to choose to eat unhealthy things sometimes. The world won't end.

If there were cakes and biscuits available they wouldn't see sundown

I think I need to edit my original post.

I think lots of teens have this phase where they suddenly realise they are now in control of what they can eat and get carried away...like when you head off to uni and realise no one can stop you eating takeaway pizza every night. I doubt it will last forever... eventually you realise what a waste of money it is and how shit you feel

I don't think clothes should be included. When I was that age (in the 90s) I had to buy all my own clothes and make-up from my weekend job wages. Remove all expenditure on them besides a home to live in and the same food everyone else gets. Let them decide if junk food is a priority.

Pour the cans of monster down the sink

Yes. Because it's your job as a parent to clothe your children.