To leave friend sitting in her car outside my house as she's arrived 90 minutes early

[youretooearly]

I invited my friend over to my house for a takeaway tonight. She asked what time and I said about 6pm. She responded to say she was planning to leave her house shortly (this was about 3.30pm) as she has never been to my house before and wanted to find her way before it got dark. She said not to worry she would just "hang around" somewhere and wouldn't impose. I assumed she meant she would go to a nearby coffee shop or something. I wasn't at home at that stage and told her so. I got home about 45 minutes ago and planned to use the time before she arrived to do more preparation for a job interview I have on Monday.

I walked into my living room about half an hour ago and noticed her car sitting outside my house! So she was here at least 1 hour 20 minutes early. I was shocked. I haven't acknowledged that I've seen her or invited her in yet. She's sent me a message 15 minutes ago "let me know when you're ready". I feel a bit angry that she's turned up so early! I said 6pm for a reason and now feel under pressure to let her in.

I got the impression that it was finding a new place that was the issue, so presumably feels more confident getting herself back home in the dark.

I am not fond of people who are always 30 minutes or more early (Dsis).
I would invite the early birds in and continue to do what I am doing.

Maybe. It's difficult to say without an idea of how far she's come.

Goodness I can’t imagine leaving a friend sitting outside in their car.
Yes she was very early but to leave her outside whilst you are inside is bizarre behaviour to me.
But then again I’m happy to answer my door, even if the caller hasn’t put in a written request 3 months prior

If it was a good enough friend I’d just invite her in, make her a drink and tell her you’re going to leave her for an hour so you can do job interview prep.

This.

WTAF?

Do you have many friends? Im not sure there are many that stick around after you leave them outside your house because they turned up early?

I would let her in and crack on with my work.

my friends would just make their own coffee and probably do the washing up or something else useful for me while I finished up working.

What's wrong with saying "Hi there, gosh I wasn't expecting you till around 6 ish. I'm in the middle of something, so help yourself to something in the kitchen and I'll be with you in a little bit."

I mean seriously?

I think the friend is rude and annoying to come so early; surely after locating the house, she could’ve found a nearby cafe to sit in until the agreed time? For all those saying to let her in, we don’t know how close they are (they don’t sound super close if this is the first visit to the house) and maybe OP doesn’t feel comfortable leaving the friend to her own devices in her home.

I’d be irritated but let her in otherwise I’d feel awkward and wouldn’t get my work done any way. But I’d definitely be wrapping things up early by saying that as we started earlier than planned, I’ll have to call it a night now as I’ve got my interview prep to get done.

I think it is hilarious, the interview is Monday. OP is reaching for anything that justifies the entitlement of being upset about her friend’s early arrival.
Inviting a friend for a takeaway while ignoring them
in their car for first 30 minutes. Strange.

What is wrong with you? You don't leave a friend sitting outside in the car! Hopefully you've brought the poor woman inside by now.

Why wouldn't you invite her in? Surely you have other opportunities to do the interview prep before Monday? Or as PP suggested, rope your mate in to be the interviewer. Why wouldn't you, rather than leaving her out there like an OpenReach engineer who doesn't want to start your job because it'll overrun so lies about you not answering the door

Are you even friends? I would never leave a friend sat in their car for 80 minutes just because she was early.

This. Make her a brew and do your interview prep.

Some people on Mumsnet are so weird about their so called friends. They seem to hate them.

Same, that’s why I’ve started giving people fake arrival times. If I want you to come for 6pm, I say to get there for 7pm (works the opposite way around for chronically late people too 😊).

You can’t leave her outside. She’s your friend. You also know why she’s come early.

I can't stand this kind of early weirdness and could not be friends with anyone who thought this was standard

If it was round here it would take a while to find a cafe that was open at this time of day - she’d get a pub more early abs then she would still need to drive a few miles back to the house through the one way system

you don’t have to invite her in - she made that clear. Take her at her word

or invite her in and leave her alone till you are ready

Just let her in, give her a cuppa and a biscuit and finish what you need to do.

Why the fuck is she a weirdo? She’s explained she wanted to find it before dark and she’s said she’d wait around, but OP should offer her in to entertain herself until 6. Why would you not invite your friend in? Sorry, wrong quote, this is for @Alpacajigsaw

I love your style 😂

Does she suffer from massive anxiety or something? It's not normal to arrive 90 minutes early, and sit in the car doing nothing! You told her you were not home, so she's very weird.

I think I would invite her in if I saw her, but I would be very pissed off - and pissed off with myself for even coming home. Lesson would have been better learned if you hadn't come home yet.

90 minutes is ridiculous, and parking in front of a house is beyond strange

Why not jait send her home? If you think she's a fucking weirdo and would rather she sat in her car til 6, you obviously don't want a friendship with her so why pretend.

Shes meant to be ops friend.

I'd have knocked on the window and asked why she was hear so early in a "omg what should we do with you!!" snese, tell her she's got access to my kettle and telly but I have something to do until 6. Because I care about my friends and she hasn't actually done anything offensive or hurtful

Is she a very nervous driver? Is there anything local she could do.

I assume you’ve let her in by now!