To leave friend sitting in her car outside my house as she's arrived 90 minutes early

[youretooearly]

I invited my friend over to my house for a takeaway tonight. She asked what time and I said about 6pm. She responded to say she was planning to leave her house shortly (this was about 3.30pm) as she has never been to my house before and wanted to find her way before it got dark. She said not to worry she would just "hang around" somewhere and wouldn't impose. I assumed she meant she would go to a nearby coffee shop or something. I wasn't at home at that stage and told her so. I got home about 45 minutes ago and planned to use the time before she arrived to do more preparation for a job interview I have on Monday.

I walked into my living room about half an hour ago and noticed her car sitting outside my house! So she was here at least 1 hour 20 minutes early. I was shocked. I haven't acknowledged that I've seen her or invited her in yet. She's sent me a message 15 minutes ago "let me know when you're ready". I feel a bit angry that she's turned up so early! I said 6pm for a reason and now feel under pressure to let her in.

You're both incredibly weird. Purposely arriving at least 80 minutes early is bizarre and leaving a friend sitting in their car for at least 80 minutes is awful.

Excellent point.

I'd just tell you'd put aside this time to prepare for a job interview and suggest she goes to a cafe (or comes in if there's not a local cafe/that won't work for her for some reason)

Is she staying the night?

Surely most people would have let her in, tell her where everything is to make a cuppa, give her the tv remote and tell her you’re just going to crack on with some work.
She is your friend!

Honestly I get it's slightly odd she's turned up so early, but what has the world come to when people need to create a thread on an online forum about whether to leave their friend sitting outside in the car for an hour rather than invite them in early for a planned meet up 🙄😵‍💫 it just seems mad to me. People have lost all social skills and are glued to their phones or screens or whatever. Bonkers. Just explain to friend you have shit to do until 6 but she can come and chill for a bit in the living room?!?

Wouldn’t bother me at all. I certainly wouldn’t make a post. I wouldn’t ever want to leave my friends outside on this weather. I’d invite her in for sure and state that I got stuff to do.

I mean. She’s my friend. I care about my friends. Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest

Well, you’re well-suited as friends- both very odd! Just let her in, make her a cup of tea and tell her you need to get on with your work until 6.

People often post on here about not having a "village" or friends but then behave like the OP! It's easy to leave her with some tea and chilling whilst you prep

It's blowing my mind that, instead of inviting your friend into the house in January, giving her a drink and the remote control, you've run to MN to post this. You're obviously not THAT busy!

I would let her in, though probably wouldn't be happy about it as when anyone is coming around I'm usually rushing around tidying up and trying to arrange everything.

Seems weird to not want to drive in the dark, presumably she'll be driving home in the dark? There are a thing called streetlights, I've never personally had a problem finding roads, etc in the dark.

Presumably she knows how to find her own house?

This must be a joke......but in case it isn't how horrible can you to be to a friend. If I was her I would go straight back home. Its freezing out there this evening.

but then if she’s likes any of my friends (chatterboxes) she would follow you to whatever room you’re in and start rabbiting on meaning you don’t get to do your planned work. Not the end of the world but a bit annoying

And how does she get home? Driving in the dark.

FFS, is this person actually your friend?

Let her in, and if you have stuff to do just get her a cup of tea and tell her that she can sit and watch the tv or something for 30minutes.

Both weird. Friend is weird but OP was weird and rude.

This would really annoy me too but why couldn’t you invite her in, give her a cup of tea and stick her in front of the TV until you are ready?

You are annoyed you can see her?
she hasn’t rung the doorbell - just drove in the light and then is minding her own business ?

and ow you are too upset to do your prep?

it is always more difficult finding a strange place in the dark. Not all places are flooded with street lights and I don’t know anyone with a glow in the dark house number

OMG, this is such a non event. Let her in and tell her you are busy until the agreed time. Do not, in all that is hospitable, leave your mate out in the car!

This is weird, did she try to organise an earlier time and you suggested 6pm?

I’d be really annoyed but wouldn’t make her stay outside, I’d invite her in but ask her to entertain herself for a bit whilst I finished off some work.

This is very strange. Let her in, give her a drink, the WIFI password and sit her in front of the TV. Or get her involved in the prep.

Why is this even a question?!? Just let her in and if you need to do some stuff give her a drink and the TV remote. MN never fails to baffle me.

Mumsnet ‘friend’ threads are so funny. No wonder there are weekly ‘I haven’t got any friends’ posts. Let your ‘friend’ in FGS.

"Hope you find the place"

So gaslight her then? Because she HAS found the place.

Who lets their mate sit in the cold when they could just set them up with a cup of tea and still crack on with their prep?

Would a friend be writing on MN instead of cracking on with finishing the work so you can start the evening with their friend?

It doesn't sound as if this friendship is worth much to you.