To leave friend sitting in her car outside my house as she's arrived 90 minutes early

[youretooearly]

I invited my friend over to my house for a takeaway tonight. She asked what time and I said about 6pm. She responded to say she was planning to leave her house shortly (this was about 3.30pm) as she has never been to my house before and wanted to find her way before it got dark. She said not to worry she would just "hang around" somewhere and wouldn't impose. I assumed she meant she would go to a nearby coffee shop or something. I wasn't at home at that stage and told her so. I got home about 45 minutes ago and planned to use the time before she arrived to do more preparation for a job interview I have on Monday.

I walked into my living room about half an hour ago and noticed her car sitting outside my house! So she was here at least 1 hour 20 minutes early. I was shocked. I haven't acknowledged that I've seen her or invited her in yet. She's sent me a message 15 minutes ago "let me know when you're ready". I feel a bit angry that she's turned up so early! I said 6pm for a reason and now feel under pressure to let her in.

Noone knows the reason she turned up so early but if it was me I’d be thinking maybe she’s scared to drive in the dark, maybe she suffers with anxiety, maybe somethings happened at home that she needs to escape from.

I’d have let her in, given her a drink and told her I needed to finish some stuff first. Then I’d take some time as a friend to have a chat about her being so early to see if there are any well being concerns that she’d like to chat about.

I have to say the friend sounds a bit clingy to me but hey I'm admittedly an introvert.

This is one of those things I read on mumsnet and get shocked. No wonder so many people cry of loneliness in this country. There is very little sense of community. How is this even a question? Let her in, fix her a cup of tea and get on with your interview prep. She must have been really excited to come this early.

If you had to work why are you posting on Mumsnet?

Sure 🤔

Hyacinth Bucket:
”If I say ten forty-five, I expect Elizabeth to arrive first coffee at ten forty-five, and not ten forty-four or ten forty-six.”

When I was about twenty, I hadn’t yet learned that a party invitation meant arriving after the stated time. I was precisely on time, and no guests arrived for more than half an hour! I felt very awkward indeed.

FFS, yet another waste of time. OP hasn’t returned. Sick of bloody wind up merchants.

Coming on mumsnet to let everyone know your ‘friend’ has arrived early and is sat outside is hardly keeping your head in work mode

I remember feeling mortified aged 11 when my parents were late back home for a guest we were expecting, because my parents spent too long nattering after church. It was after 10pm as well - big church service at Easter, so their friend was waiting outside our house late at night. They did not seem ashamed at all.

.

Meeting - the time they agreed friend would meet OP at her house. HTH

Yes agree. Let her in. Make her a tea and get in with what you need to do.

This 100%

Agreed, so many ridiculous threads of late. AIBU is such a parody lately its inconceivable that the site used to be deemed a series focus group by politicians. Even on the more serious boards like Employment , the few posters that clearly know what they are talking about, and are attempting to give good advice, are drowned out by literal nonsense.

@Pluto46 Absolutely, but the merest, light-hearted hint that the OP might not be 100% kosher will result in a deletion, as just happened to me. My first deleted post - I'm almost proud!

@youretooearly
Did you let her in yet? 😂

You had time to write this post when you could of done some interview pprep,do your interview prep in bed, nutter…

YANBU. I HATE it when people turn up massively early. I'm talking about an hour or more,not 5 or 10 minutes. One of my DBs used to do this. He was incapable of actually arriving anywhere at the time arranged, always had to be at least 45 minutes early,if not more. I get the impression that some people think they are doing you a favour by being early. A case of 'Look,I'm not late, aren't I considerate?'. No you're not! Just get here at the bloody time you were asked to! To be honest,I'd rather someone be 15 minutes late than an hour early!

In my opinion it's just as rude to arrive early as it is to arrive late.. your friend , by sitting outside, is putting pressure on you to have her over earlier than you told her. RUDE..
Id be angry too.

Of course you should leave her in. Why would you leave her sitting in the car if she's your friend? Let her in give her the remote and get in with your work until 6.

What did you do? What time
was your guest allowed in?

I agree with the majority of the above. Its winter. Ask her in give her a drink and explain your time is commited until 6pm. Tell her she is welcome to relax with the television until then.
I cant believe you saw her there half an hour ago and didnt acknowledge her. Dear heavens .Meet her outside and preferably half way next time.

Seriously she is sitting outside in her car in January in the dark. And you are her friend. And you are posting on this thread asking if you should let the poor soul in!!Beyond weird. She miscalculated. She hates driving in the dark. She tucked up.
But FGS ask her in. Give her a drink and get on with your own stuff.