Are all fathers creepy?

[Alex122022]

My experience in a different thread (on swimming pool changing room etiquette) has been quite interesting: there seems to be a widely shared opinion that all men are creeps and there are never any innocent explanations for their behaviour.

While I completely agree that a father in a women's changing room - especially when there are older girls - is inappropriate, I can easily see how this could happen without any ulterior motive. Be it simply ignorance or lack of judgement.

I experienced the same on playgrounds: playing hide & seek with my daughter? Mothers approach my DW and tell her that "a perv" is watching the children. Playing with DD - well meaning mothers asking her whether she is ok or needs help.

AIBU to think this is a bit excessive?

Your poor daughter (if she exists).

Because this is what men do when they have no friends, hobbies or social skills.

When they’re not trying to get in women’s spaces that is.

I wouldn't worry too much about the imaginary daughter

I’m guessing there is no daughter. One would require a woman to mate with for that.

The problem is that creepy men never stop. Their behaviour is switched on all the time. Maybe it's only one in 10 men, I don't know, but that 10 per cent, they never stop and around women, it's all they do. Any time I've had particular problems with a guy, it's turned out that all the other women in the same situation had the same problems with that guy, and any woman who has contact with him is going to experience his behaviour. It's a mindset, and absolutely revolting.

Of course not. But most of them go out of their way to not be creepy around women and children and not try to be alone with them. If they are, that’s obviously a red flag.

“I don’t know what makes you feel uncomfortable.” So we tell you and you argue. Just listen. But it’s clear you’re not able to do that.

Doesn't mean to say that 98% of men commit sexual offences however.

I think the pp who said part of the problem is the lack of facilities allowing for men to be a caregiver in many places was spot on, it's a self propagating situation. Men didn't traditionally take children places so the facilities are all aimed at women carers, so men have all kinds of problems taking the children there, so no facilities are made available to them as they don't go.

I feel much more thought needs to go into allowing for these kinds of situations and suitable facilities put in place in many more venues. Not sure what the solution is until then though for fathers taking daughters or very young children out and about.

BTW my immediate thought about the "what if there's an accident" for the boy in the men's changing area with the mother outside was slipping & injuring themselves or a medical emergency or something like that, rather than a toileting accident.

Maybe this is part of Steven Bartlett’s plan for society to intervene with men not having willing sexual partners.

Oh my god

ok let’s have another go

right now with the prevalence of male entitlement, be that extreme with expecting extreme sexual acts as normal, let’s say anal in case you are so unaware, indicated by increasing 17 yr old girls presenting at A&E with anal prolapse, or the need for upskirting laws, or the fact 1 in 4 females will be a victim of domestic violence, or that men will take condoms off during sex, or the publicised court causes of men not only drugging their wives ves but other men happily having sex with an unconscious woman and not one, not one raised the alarm. Down to the low level nonsense that in numerous 2 full time working adult households females are still expected to cook and clean more and make sure their is toothpaste and bog roll.

Men want to impress other men, this creepy/criminal behaviour, unless, unappreciative, can’t clean a bathroom because my shot in a bog is for a lesser human (wife/partner) to wipe away.

Until this entitlement between men is erased and cleaning a toilet and buying soap and making dental appointments is expected between males not ridiculed or perceived as pussy whipped women are going to question men in female usual environments which definitely includes female changing rooms at swimming pools and playgrounds when you are the only dad there.

You see you don’t ask why aren’t there more dads there, this is exactly the issue, you ask why do all the other mums look at you questioningly. Whereas what you should be asking on a male forum is “why am I the only dad playing with my child in a playground?”

You are asking the wrong questions in the wrong place.

Perhaps a female could ask you, why are you as a dad the anomaly in a playground? Because as mums we can’t answer that.

It was more of a generalised comment. Try claiming in any court that you didn’t think.
Use that as your excuse
It’s not a defence
But then you knew that didn’t you?

I’ve reported because this is just another creepy man. I hope others report too.

You are wasting your breath

Can’t bring myself to read the whole thread. NAMALT but a disturbingly high number are. Somewhere in the single digits percentage are pedophiles (prepubescent), even more child predators post puberty. And around a third would be or are rapists.

if thy doesn’t give you pause, you aren’t paying attention.

I’ve got an autistic 9yo and we go into the disabled toilets or the family changing rooms with cubicles.

Quite!

The research and evidence that men WILL rape if they think there won’t be consequences is frankly incomprehensible!

Wwwwwaaayyyyy ahead of you.

It certainly doesn't mean that 98% of men commit sexual offences thats why i said 98% of offences were committed by men.
But the risk of being sexually assaulted by a man is far greater than the risk of being assaulted by a woman.

At what age will you not want to bring your son into the female changing room?

I know

He’s gone quiet. I hoping he’s gone. 🤞

Not all men are creeps imo but I do think that changing alongside girls from other families is very inappropriate.

I wouldn't like a man in a womans changing room, but it wouldn't occur to me intervene if a father was playing with their child. I think in terms of old-fashioned values some women think that dads don't play with their daughters or that its a Mum's job, but I loved playing with my Dad when I was a kid, he worked a lot so the occasions we got to play together were all the more special. There is nothing wrong with being a hands-on Dad and I bet your daughter adores you.

I agree, @ToadRage