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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The risk of this happening will see a rise of men getting disgruntled

172 replies

MikeRafone · 24/01/2026 08:24

when they try to talk to woman and get the silent treatment

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cr7jej2elyyo

Dilara has long reddish hair.

Women filmed in secret for TikTok content - then harassed online

So-called manfluencers wearing smart glasses approach women and then post videos to TikTok.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cr7jej2elyyo

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 24/01/2026 09:15

Sadly there will always be naive women who talk to creeps. The law needs to change to stop people filming without consent

echt · 24/01/2026 09:15

GCSEBiostruggles · 24/01/2026 09:13

I get what you mean OP - Men don't realise that their actions have consequences. More guys doing this means women will ignore men talking to them or immediately assume they are being filmed and be rude.

Diddums to the men. Who gives a fuck?

I notice it's the women you say will be rude. Hmm

MikeRafone · 24/01/2026 09:18

echt · 24/01/2026 09:15

Diddums to the men. Who gives a fuck?

I notice it's the women you say will be rude. Hmm

and why shouldn't woman be rude if they choose to unsolicited approaches

OP posts:
echt · 24/01/2026 09:22

MikeRafone · 24/01/2026 09:18

and why shouldn't woman be rude if they choose to unsolicited approaches

Talk about missing my point.

<sonic boom of an idea going straight over your head>

OneShyQuail · 24/01/2026 09:24

Yuck. Just yuck.
I thought I peaked with gross men in the early 2000s when I was treated like a second class citizen working with cars (women cant strip engines/there's no way youll lift that tyre etc) but it is getting worse.

Why do some men think they have a right to talk to you and you should be glad and gracious and communicate back?! Let alone film someone.

Yuck just yuck

P.s disclaimer- i know not ALL men are like this, my lovely DP is not, my dad is not etc but my god.....men what is going on?!

GCSEBiostruggles · 24/01/2026 09:24

MikeRafone · 24/01/2026 09:18

and why shouldn't woman be rude if they choose to unsolicited approaches

I don't understand why people are being so rude to you for pointing out men are scoring an own goal here.

I think it is an interesting discussion because so many items of clothing are sold to men as having hidden cameras - watches for eg. The boundaries are so blurred we need protection from being used to make money for men. Posting under the videos that if the woman had known he was filming her her reaction would have been less than favourable might make people think.

Anewuser · 24/01/2026 09:24

Men trying to speak to women isn’t a new thing. Forty years ago, men would shout things at me like, “don’t worry love, it might never happen,” or “cheer up, love”. They have never seemed to understand that we’re not interested in them.

The OPs headline is a weird one.

Dery · 24/01/2026 09:25

@MikeRafone - the poster’s point was that you’re talking about the women being rude but actually it’s rude for these men to just approach women they don’t know and expect the women to speak to them. It is an imposition. So the rudeness is with the man who makes the approach in the first place, not the woman.

echt · 24/01/2026 09:28

The OPs headline is a weird one

If you see it as faux-naif use of a real problem for women in order to stir up support for NAMALT, then it makes sense. To the OP, any way. Just another man hi-jacking MN.

WaryCrow · 24/01/2026 09:31

Rafting2022 · 24/01/2026 08:42

Oh no! Those poor men feeling disgruntled!

Thus.

The young woman was filmed unknowing, used as a tool by a man for his online chat business, made to innocently give out details which are resulting in her being harassed all the bloody time…. And your concern is for THE POOR MENZ who won’t ve able to talk to random women any more?

If men didn’t weaponise every tool they find against women perhaps they’d deserve us a bit more.

Unless you were going to hope for some male help against this technological dystopia yabvvvu.

CaptainMyCaptain · 24/01/2026 09:32

Anewuser · 24/01/2026 09:24

Men trying to speak to women isn’t a new thing. Forty years ago, men would shout things at me like, “don’t worry love, it might never happen,” or “cheer up, love”. They have never seemed to understand that we’re not interested in them.

The OPs headline is a weird one.

Yes but they weren't filming us. I'm glad I'm old enough to fly under their radar now.

winteraconites · 24/01/2026 09:33

I looked up the meaning of the word disgruntled. This is what I found:

‘If you are disgruntled, you are cross and dissatisfied because things have not happened the way that you wanted them to happen.’

’angry or dissatisfied’

‘annoyed or disappointed because something has happened to upset you’

‘Disgruntled sounds like what it is — dissatisfied, grunting and grumbling’

‘displeased and discontented; sulky; peevish’

‘To put into sulky dissatisfaction or ill-humour; to chagrin, disgust’

That’s a lot of definitions that basically say the same thing - and in your post, you seem to be saying that there will be a rise in men displaying this behaviour if women don’t respond to men trying to talk to them thanks to these wankers with their stupid glasses.

Women are not obligated to engage with random men. When random men approach them and try to strike up a conversation, women often feel the need to make polite conversation back to avoid the man becoming aggressive or threatening. Being told you are a stuck-up bitch or being asked if you think you are too good for them is fairly common. It would be particularly uncomfortable to be alone in a lift with a random man trying to talk to you. What a lot of women would prefer is for random men to let them go about their day in peace and not to have to deal with this kind of shit.

Men need to look at their own behaviour, and their friends’ behaviour, and the behaviour of all these entitled fucks on the internet, and say ENOUGH ALREADY - WE NEED TO CHANGE. Then actually make some change and not just bleat about how unfair it all is because NAMALT. Then women might be interested in talking to them and they’ll be less disgruntled. Although hopefully along the way, they will have learned that acting like a sulky peevish twat when you are disappointed or don’t get what you want isn’t a good look anyway.

northernballer · 24/01/2026 09:36

I was approached by a man offering ne a rose in a shopping centre and he was filming, I just ignored him and he started pleading with me to take it. God knows if he posted that footage somewhere, makes me so angry!!

MikeRafone · 24/01/2026 09:39

Dery · 24/01/2026 09:25

@MikeRafone - the poster’s point was that you’re talking about the women being rude but actually it’s rude for these men to just approach women they don’t know and expect the women to speak to them. It is an imposition. So the rudeness is with the man who makes the approach in the first place, not the woman.

Edited

A man approaching a woman to try and engage in unsolicited conversation is indeed rude, rather more than rude imo

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 24/01/2026 09:39

I’m not sure if Op is badly worded? I don’t think she’s sad for the menz

hopefully all this will mean is the end of random approaches on the street for sexual/ relationship purposes. Meet in a mutually agreed way and develop the relationship from there

MikeRafone · 24/01/2026 09:41

echt · 24/01/2026 09:22

Talk about missing my point.

<sonic boom of an idea going straight over your head>

so do explain what your point it?

I think its more than rude for a man to approach a woman unsolicited and start up a conversation

what is your point?

OP posts:
Christmasinmecar · 24/01/2026 09:43

Men have everyright to be upset because according to a lot of them women are holes to fuck, abuse and treat like thrd class citizens,
I've grown so cynical about men thanks to yeas of MN.

yetanotherusernameAgain · 24/01/2026 09:45

There was an item about this on BBC1 a few days ago, but with different examples.

What struck me were the vile comments from men in reply to the uploaded films (not mentioned in that article) - along the lines of "she's obviously not getting enough attention from her boyfriend", "she was gazing at you adoringly". The woman in question had been walking along Piccadilly in central London and stopped to politely answer the man who approached her.

The Germaine Greer quote came to mind: "Women have very little idea of how much men hate them".

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 24/01/2026 09:47

Meta has a lot to answer for.

RT112 · 24/01/2026 09:48

Typical biased BBC propaganda. Women doing exactly the same thing by secretly filming men on the dates, secretly filming men on the streets and uploading what should be private conversations to the media.

Meadowfinch · 24/01/2026 09:49

Oh well, never mind 😊

PollyBell · 24/01/2026 09:49

MikeRafone · 24/01/2026 09:41

so do explain what your point it?

I think its more than rude for a man to approach a woman unsolicited and start up a conversation

what is your point?

So a man should never ever talk to a women he does not know ever?

So men have too sit back and only ever wait for women to speak to them first, yet women say they never want to talk to a man as they are intimated by men so would never ever approach a man

So how on earth do humans communicate then?

WasThatACorner · 24/01/2026 09:52

RT112 · 24/01/2026 09:48

Typical biased BBC propaganda. Women doing exactly the same thing by secretly filming men on the dates, secretly filming men on the streets and uploading what should be private conversations to the media.

You mean when they record abusive partners or men who have scared them?

Women being so afraid for their safety is the same as men being annoyed that they don't get the attention and engagement from any woman they want?

Right then......

peacefulpeach · 24/01/2026 09:55

Imagine being a man so sad that they buy these glasses, hide behind them and harass women, then publish their actions online thinking they’re interesting or cool (or god knows what these particularly pathetic male specimens think).

Man advertising his sad little self. Way to win..