Not every symptom, feeling or reaction is caused by peri/menopause

[DorisLessingsCat]

It’s amazing that there is more awareness, understanding and visibility of peri-menopause and menopause but AIBU that it’s not always the main cause of whatever is going on in your life? More and more threads where it seems to be the first thing posters mention when describing their issues . Plus, anyone between the ages of 35 and 90 asked “could it be peri/menopause?” before any other question/suggestion.

I’m just glad my GP recognised it as I’m only 41 which I felt was too young
having near fainting episodes, palpitations, anxiety, panic attacks, air hunger… all gone with HRT

I had to be medicated
changing the world wouldn’t have stopped my near faints and palpitations out the blue. If you’re low on iron, you get.. iron. If I’m low on oestrogen then surely it makes sense to get oestrogen

YANBU. But there's a shit tonne of money to be made from selling HRT.

HRT is available on the NHS and most of what is prescribed is generic so this is a red herring. I have absolutely no problem with people using HRT, I'm on it myself and you'd have to prize it from my cold, dead hands. That's not the issue at all for me.

The issue, as discussed at length, is when menopause/perimenopause is posited as the cause of all of women's problems in life.

DH is now very frail so we keep the temperature at home much higher than it would otherwise be. He did once suggest that the reason I was visibly ‘glowing’ in that climate would be down to the menopause. I’m 65.

Completely agree. How very dare she.

She is fortunate to have not had any issues around menopause. However, you have to be incredibly insensitive or hard of thinking (or both) to think your own personal experience is universal.

Being available on the NHS doesnt mean nobody is profiting.

Honestly you're either not there yet or you sailed through peri-menopause because your comment is completely clueless! The peri-menopause caused me to contemplate the very really possibility of taking my own life in 2023 it is a brutal time and if you have not experienced it, I would advise you probably should not speak on it!!

Thank God ! Not just me then

Seeing as there are estrogen receptors all over our body and organs, it most likely is all down to menopause. So why not top up with HRT and be done with all the symptoms.

True!!! And sometimes, it's a case of what if it is, just say what you need to say and crack on.

People who start a thread on a random topic and caveat any rumblings as being peri.

Some people are like that naturally, so telling us it's because of peri doesn't add anything to the discussion.

There was a thread on F&B with a photo. Poster apologised for round tummy as she's peri, so what? There are loads of bigger tummies around even on teenagers.

It's Just beyond.

Haven't read the whole thread but I really relate to this.
I'm 41 and feel like perimenopause is the main topic of conversation of every woman I speak to, especially with loads of symptoms we've all always had being linked to it.
I don't think I have any symptoms but it gets me down a bit, having this sword of Damacles having over me that supposedly menopause is going to be hell. Either it will be and worrying for years in advance won't change that or it won't be and I'll have wasted energy worrying.

As a 47 year old in perimenopause, I get more people blaming any ailment I have on the fact I take Mounjaro.

What age is it when people start saying “is it perimenopause?” I haven’t had it yet and Im 35.

The obsession with labelling isn’t going anywhere quickly. I feel the same way about autism and ADHD self diagnosis. It’s rampant!

What does 'peri' even mean? Is there any clear definition? 15 years or so ago you never heard it mentioned, yet now as you say it's everywhere.

I'm old enough to remember when PMT was the female hormonal ailment du jour. Any woman under 50 who was a bit snappy or impatent was clearly 'pre-menstrual'. You still hear this, but 'peri' seems to be more in vogue now.

I disagree completely that peri menopause is blamed for everything.

If anything, what happens is that women start to notice things that previously they just ignored/put up with because yes, peri menopause does seem to stop them from just ignoring it/not paying attention. But the underlying reality is still real.

What was interesting about my peri-menopausal rage wasn't that I was angry about x or y - x or y were perfectly reasonable things to be angry about - but that my anger was so insanely out of control. And even as I was experiencing it, I knew that the rage was OTT. And Ii've heard this from many women. Which is also why, I believe, so many posts start with, "I'm 46 so perhaps it's just peri..." because we KNOW perfectly well that 10 years previously, we'd have been a bit irritated, ranted over a glass of wine with a friend and moved on. Or not even done that. Perhaps we'd have felt guilty for even being irritated or like we didn't have a right to be annoyed.

When I went to see my doctor I told her about ll the things going on in my life. I asked her if this was just peri menopause or other issues. And her response was that basically, in her opinion, I had a lot going on and reasons to be struggling but that my hormones certainly weren'thelping. She was right. HRT helped me sleep better, controlled the rage better, removed the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Did mean that everything was immediately perfect.

When menopause happened I had out of control hot flushes for a year, they have subsided and are not as extreme now. I very suddenly developed rage, over nothing, I couldn't control it, I felt insane, and I lost literal handfuls of hair at the same time.
I also couldn't sleep.
I didn't recognise myself.
I didn't take HRT, for health reasons, and now four years on my symptoms have settled, I guess I am used to not having oestrogen now.
For me being able to read about menopause really helped.
I can no longer tolerate alchohol, I have a sleep routine that works but my joints are knackered and I have vaginal atrophy.
Menopause was brutal, the only positive is I no longer have heavy flooding and clots, and I thought they were normal.

I couldn't engage with someone like this. It's dehumanising and I hate the idea that as a mid-40s woman I'm seen by some as a walking bag of perimenopausal symptoms rather than an actual person.

I also think it's bloody depressing as a fixation. Like people who love talking about their ailments.

And this is exactly why I find it a depressing topic.

It's great to know that if I start struggling I know what to ask and that my GP will be helpful (and I know not everyone can say that), but much like death, I don't want to spend time with friends talking about something that is inevitable and quite likely to be utterly shit but in an entirely unpredictable way.

I remember a thread on here from someone in their early 30s asking how to prepare for it. What a waste of being young, I thought, preparing for something that can take a thousand different forms.

Unfortunately this is the case with any long term condition. Overweight? Diabetes? Fibro? MS? Menopause? Then yep all your issues are because of that.
I remember my health visitor saying my son was teething. Which I soon learned was the catchall for anything that couldn’t obviously be explained y anything else. The health visitor time me this at three weeks - my son didn’t cut his first tooth til he was 13 months old.
Medicince is often an educated guess - it is not an exact science.

its Fucking tedious

Right ? I almost felt attacked recently , I turned 44 a few days ago and I’m 22 weeks pregnant. I never had peri menopause symptoms and I got pregnant on first try ( 4th child ) but 2 of my fried where adamant I must have had symptoms and that the pregnancy now is masking them , but the reality is prior to it I didn’t at all . Then one kept saying but you sleep badly and you are always anxious and rushing around …. I’m a full time mum working with 3 kids including a sen one and a husband that’s my day to day the last 20 years lol

Totally. And when you are in your early 30s you don't realise just how young you are!

It's just as the pre-menstrual thing, banded around for attention or as an excuse.
Nothing wrong with saying you're not feeling well etc, as yes, people struggle, but so do people with all sorts of ailments.
You don't hear people going on about their Asthma, limited mobility, or other chronic illnesses every single time.

Go and see a doc or bring it up when relevant. It's when it's brought up for no reason.

I have a friend who bangs on and on, sends me videos of "experts" discussing it and spends hours on the videos/podcasts.