Is her child intelligent?

[ThisWittyNavyHiker]

My mum friend who has a child who's two months shy of 3 years has stated he's really intelligent.

Nothing out of the ordinary to warrenty mensa, just seems like a normal child. If she misses a page of a book he will notice and in "the higher group" at nursery. Not sure what that is as they have two rooms.

Aibu in thinking she's bat shit crazy?

And no I don't like her

I mean… why wouldn't you want to think your kid was intelligent? If she said he was an intellectual then she would be bat shit.

I'm sure she's annoying but why let someone's praise of their own child bother you so much?

I think most parents think their children are intelligent as they’re constantly doing new things that they couldn’t do before?

Especially if they only have 1 and have nothing really to compare with.

FWIW, my 22 month old is practically a genius as she now tells me when she’s done a poo 🤣 HTH

It's sad honestly. My 3 year old DS is high functioning autistic can add, read, spell, write to a 6-7 year old level, and he taught himself all of it. I follow a FB group about gifted children, some of it is helpful because frankly they tend to have a lot of quirks (mine included). Can add numbers, but god forbid I get his face wet etc. We get a lot of mums like your friend on the group listing characterics and asking re. gifted opinions and in my head i'm just like please let them just be children. Your friend is pushy and long term will likely do her child more harm than good. As a side note, if it makes you feel better, my toddler was definitely still found eating eating dog food when young. He's book smart, but not smart smart.

A good rule of thumb is if you feel compelled to post on the internet pulling someone apart after you’ve seen her and her child, you shouldn’t be seeing her.

This is the woman you describe as a friend, and then in the same post say you don't like her? How does that work then?

And no I don't like her

Don't need any intelligence at all to know that!

It's common for parents to think the LO are especially gifted. It may be annoying but ultimately it does no really harm.

The proof of the pudding and all that.. if he is then great. If he's bang average hopefully she won't express huge disappointment.

Anyone going to tell her nursery group children by age not intelligence...lordy

To quote my MIL
"Everyone thinks their own geese are swans"

Of course everyone thinks their own child is fabulous and loves them so much and gushes about them. Just try to smile and nod and bite your tongue, it does come from a place of seeking reassurance, particularly if it their PFB (perfect first born!)

Look up Mrs Browns Boys when Mrs Brown tells her sons future MIL "That's nice!" It will give you a good laugh if nothing else.

YABU.

What's the big fuss? If he's intelligent, so what? It doesn't reflect on anyone else unless you make it reflect on them.

I was always considered intelligent as a child - what I've learnt is that it's a spectrum. In one crowd you might be the most intelligent, in another you might be thick!

If you don't like the conversation topic, change it. If you don't know how, have a look for free learning and development that teach you how to do that.

.

op the woman does sound irritating but you must meet hundreds of parents like this over the course of raising a child. There is always someone at nursery who’s kid can count higher than everyone else, or has a reading age five years above their actual age, or whose finger painting is so much more expressive than all the brown splodges your kid has done, or is in advanced ballet already (because if they don’t start young they’ll never make it), or (my favourite) wears bigger sized wellies than all the other kids, or is just generally better than everyone else’s kid. If you let them get to you you’ll go insane. As many other posters have said just smile, nod and save your energy for people who don’t get on your tits.

This, @ThisWittyNavyHiker

Jealous and insecure.
And bordering on cruel.

Don’t pick on a little kid, a small child who can’t defend themself.

That hurts my heart.

I mean a 2 yo can definitely be intelligent. You could have a full and in depth conversation with my DD at 2. It was quite the party trick. But my SD was quite a bit behind with language and below average throughout primary school and it's only lately transpired that she's a maths, science and computer whizz- so intelligence at 2 is only measuring a few things. Maybe DD is destined to be terrible at maths- currently she's more focused on song-writing and spends her evenings writing down the lyrics to all the songs she's come up with that day (none of which I could honestly say I'd add to my playlist but she is only 5.)

FWIW, IRL my Mum friends started commenting on how bright she was and even making comparisons to their own kids (e.g. "Wow, X is nowhere near the stage of knowing that/being able to do that yet, how did Y learn?") and it's always kind of awkward because I absolutely don't want to be like your Mum "friend". I mostly just think how lucky I am that I have two healthy, happy children who are excelling in what they love.

Maybe he is super intelligent seen as he is in the top group at nursery (didnt know such a thing existed despite having worked in nurseries) but he is probably just like most other nursery child who have fun, make mud cakes whilst tasting the mud, wipe there snot with there hand and are just a bundle of giggles.

This mum reminds me of the type of mum who genuinely believes there child is perfectly behaved and utter the dreaded words "my child wouldn't do that they are so kind, mature etc". They often say those words in front of the same people who just witnessed X child doing the thing the parent just denied that child would ever do. I have met a fair few of them in my time. I suggest avoidance tactics they tend to get worse not better.

Look he might be an he also might not be. All children develop really differently during these first few years. Eventually they all level out and catch up to one another.

If her bragging is becoming too much, shut it down or block her. You aren’t wrong for not wanting to only discuss that.

I know with my toddler I pulled away from other mums because a few of them were trying to push some of their bat shit anxiety fears on me and I didn’t like feeling like that.
Just because you have children the same age, doesn’t mean you need to be friends with them.

She's not your Mom friend if you dint like her so stop being disingenuous andeave her be. Yes she probably is spouting nonsense but it doesn't harm anyone

I think you’re being unreasonable. Its just a mum doting over her kid, she’s harming no one.

And for what it’s worth, I got into Mensa when I was younger.
Always failed at school, was even held back one year and had no clue how to make friends.

Didn’t learn to put a shirt on until the age of 11.
I was always considered slow, my b* of a MIL used to call me “simple”.

I don't understand this question. Of course a two year old can be intelligent.

No, we can't tell from the tiny amount of information here whether this particular two year old is intelligent. Yes, it can be difficult to distinguish between genuine intelligence and precocity.And yes, any parent who boasts to others about their child's intelligence - real or imagined - is behaving like a smug twat.

But none of that changes the fact that some two year olds are very intelligent and demonstrate this quite clearly. How can you not know this?

If they are right it's quite obvious to everyone around them having met the child in question. No need for the parent to try to convince everyone her little Jimmy will get a Nobel prize one day just because he noticed that mum skipped one page when reading his bedtime story🙄

If it’s her first child then totally understandable, some parents are like this. Precious and convinced their child is something special. Trouble is, the kids often grow up with a complex because very few people in the world are special. Special to your parents, sure which is how it should be but in terms of ‘high intelligence’, nah.

Whats your problem? Leave her be.

I think a lot of parents get very excited by early flashes of competence (I say competence more than brilliance; it's normally something like reciting the alphabet or counting to 20 when their peers are learning to speak, but nothing that would get them a doctorate, and they normally omit the bit about Mummy and Daddy counting to 20 in a frenetic sing-song voice to DC every time they go in the car, sit in the bath, sit on the potty etc) but IMO the baking mixture is stirred many many times before they all come out as baked goods!

It is not unusual for a child who was overlooked in Early Years to soar ahead of their peers once they hit the really academic tasks - usually the kid who sat un-cooperatively trying to unscrew the table legs, while everyone else sang Baa Baa Black sheep verbatim, remembering to hold up three fingers at the "three bags full" and their mums were secretly putting the Oxbridge admissions office on speed dial because they reckon their kid got their fingers up a split second earlier than the others.

But that's what parents do sometimes: they revel in every little advance and I suppose if we didn't, teaching someone to defecate in a potty or wipe their nose would be soul-destroying.

She is most likely over-estimating his abilities, but I don't think it's as weird as you getting so worked up over it.