Cost of husband’s 40th party

[naavaaira]

Posting here for traffic.
I am organising a surprise party for my husband’s 40th. He is the kind who loves being centre of attention and would love the surprise! I have never ever organised a proper event like this so have no idea of average cost and your input would be appreciated. I’m looking to cater his favourite Turkish food, inflatable night club in the garden, alcohol, cake, nibbles, and other bits all coming to around £1200 for 16 adults and 8 kids. Does that sound average or a lot?

I don’t think anyone is saying that loving someone equals chucking money at them. But you must also be aware that people throw parties from time to time and for various reasons and those parties cost money. From the OP’s breakdown, it’s good value and not crazy money.

You called her entitled and privileged, that’s unkind.

You did that because you can’t afford such things, that’s a you problem.

The venue was my garden and house, though the cost included the registry office at an eye watering £440 for a simple ceremony with just 8 guests. It all added up when I included the flowers, tablecloth etc. We went overboard on the wine and had loads left over. Got the food from Waitrose Entertaining. I didn't think it was too bad actually.

it was my wedding. A pretty cheap wedding. But there will always be someone who wants to be a cunt and criticise!

I certainly didn’t expect this many comments! I have already pre booked the food

I'd probably DIY food / get friends to bring a plate. This would be way cheaper and just as much fun

But £50 per head sounds a reasonable price if its catered

If that what is important in your life fair enough.
Spending huge amounts on birthday presents/ Christmas presents/ anniversary presents etc isn't a life style I embrace.
My feeling is it's the feelings and affection and love that is the important thing. Not the money spent and the ostentation and the razzamatazz

Exactly! This is how I see it. It’s a milestone and my husband is not a very big spender at all. He’s a big saver which is why I think he definitely deserves something special. He never spends on himself

Why would she care what other people spend, or that 'you' think it's not necessary?

If they can afford it and makes her husband happy that's all that matters!

It wasn't a criticism, just a query! It sounds lovely, and 13 guests nice and intimate. I didn't realise registry offices cost so much! However, you had the wedding you wanted, which is the important thing. I suppose it's only £115 per head, and you had good food 👍 sounds great!

How do you know what i can afford?

It's a question of values as far as i'm concerned.

Money and ostentation is not important compared to real things like love, caring and affection.

You can’t afford it, as your original post stated! Nothing to do with having the moral high ground at all!

This is what we mean about you being unkind. And (me) sanctimonious.

It genuinely sounds great, and a lot of fun, OP.
£50 per person isn't too bad, you're going to have plenty of food and drink and the inflatable nightclub sounds great! I'd never heard of that before.

This kind of gave your situation away!

Oh my goodness. MN certainly highlights the them and us culture doesn't it?

It’s from your first post on here.

What a weird response. I'm sure OP will inform their neighbours of the plans and apologise for the noise in advance. Its a 40th party, so not something they're doing every weekend 🙄 If I was their neighbour, I'd hope for an invite and bring pudding and booze!

You can be generous and loving and kind as well, you do realise this?

That's a brilliant price. Yeah definitely more alcohol.

The inflatable nightclub sounds brilliant and so much fun.

For all you're getting it really is a great price, We've spent way more on less when hiring venues .

My original post said nothing of the sort.

I said I couldnt envisage a world where spending this amount of money on a birthday would be considered normal.

Why you and other posters are making assumptions on my financial status is beyond me

If you really care about someone why do you need to spend unnecessary amounts of money on them? Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection.

Of course you can.

But as far as i'm concerned the "loving and kind" is the important thing.

I will hold my hands up to being anti materialism.
And admit to being egalitarian. And a socialist.

Just out of curiosity, do you get invited to many parties yourself like? 👀

You said

Oh my goodness. MN certainly highlights the them and us culture doesn't it?

What did you mean if it wasn’t “that’s out of my league”

If you really love someone and you can afford it, why would you not share your wealth? Why is keeping your money to yourself such a good thing to do?
Why not be generous and enjoy your wealth together and making memories?

Are you saying OP doesn’t love her partner as much as you do, or she wouldn’t be going to this much effort and expense?

Odd view!

“Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection”

Thats a really unfair blanket statement to make. My husband works EXTREMELY hard, and like other posters have said it’s a special occasion, not every birthday, party or anniversary is like this. As I mentioned in my original post we have never done something like this before. Not that I need to explain myself.

I feel you are being judgemental.

😂 maybe the majority of people you know.

Sounds cheap tbh.

Sorry but what has that got to do with anything? Apart from you wishing to feed the agenda on this thread that i am consumed with envy and jealousy.

I find the natural acceptance of materialism on this thread extremely sad. As is the fact so many posters are trying to portray anti materialism as just envy and jealousy