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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Cost of husband’s 40th party

416 replies

naavaaira · 22/01/2026 16:23

Posting here for traffic.
I am organising a surprise party for my husband’s 40th. He is the kind who loves being centre of attention and would love the surprise! I have never ever organised a proper event like this so have no idea of average cost and your input would be appreciated. I’m looking to cater his favourite Turkish food, inflatable night club in the garden, alcohol, cake, nibbles, and other bits all coming to around £1200 for 16 adults and 8 kids. Does that sound average or a lot?

OP posts:
ImDoneOnceAndForAll2 · 24/01/2026 20:13

Thats cheap? Why is it so cheap?
What meals are there? How much booze?

XiCi · 24/01/2026 20:13

Griff1963 · 24/01/2026 12:14

I work in mental health, and extroverts hate not to be the centre of attention, and they are 99% me, me, me, and will sulk when anyone else gets the attention they crave.

No you do not 🤣🤣🤣
Extroversion is not a mental health issue. Neither is enjoying being the centre of attention. Some people do, some people don't. When you say you have diagnosed 500, do you mean extrovert? That's hilarious

Griff1963 · 24/01/2026 20:14

XiCi · 24/01/2026 20:13

No you do not 🤣🤣🤣
Extroversion is not a mental health issue. Neither is enjoying being the centre of attention. Some people do, some people don't. When you say you have diagnosed 500, do you mean extrovert? That's hilarious

You name it I've seen it.

Bess91 · 24/01/2026 20:18

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 22:20

Do you honestly not know that society is made up of the haves and have nots?

Do you live in a privileged world where you are unaware of the poorer subsection of society?

You call me pointing this out "insulting, catty and critical" . But for a lot of people coming on to MN and starting a thread about spending eyewatering, for some people, amounts of money on birthday parties is actually an insensitive and unpleasant act of ostentation.

If OP wants to spend that amount of money on her H then why doesnt she just do it rather than flaunt it in the face of people who are possibly struggling to make ends meet?

You are directing venom at me. But some might say flaunting wealth is actually an unpleasant and unnecessary act.

Edited

You're a miserable creature.

OP, your party sounds amazing!

Papyrophile · 24/01/2026 20:19

@Christmaseree , you may well be right! Thanks .

OrigamiAnimal · 24/01/2026 20:20

Haven't read the full thread but that's a lot of money. We have a huge family and haven't spent anything like that even though I don't think I really scrimped.

ThriveAT · 24/01/2026 20:32

It doesn't sound like enough for that many people.

SheThinksShesAllThat · 24/01/2026 20:36

NC2026 · 24/01/2026 15:35

Yup, mine cost £10-12K several years ago, but we'd had a shit few years with no celebrations, no holidays for over 10 years, etc, and we wanted to celebrate our joint birthdays with family and friends, and our family is very large.

I don't understand why people get so nasty and judgy.

Different people have different priorities and different levels of income. What they chose to do with it is their business.

Edited

Ours will be a combined 40 & 50th…. We like to party and have loads of friends and family. Can’t wait!

ByCandidRobin · 24/01/2026 21:38

I organised my husband's big birthday last year. Fully catered, starters, mains and desserts. Various varieties plus 10 bottles of proseco. 30 adults. 4 caterers came to my house quite early to start preparing the food, I just left them to it in my kitchen. They layed the tables with table cloths, brought dishes, cutleries etc. In fact, I only bought the birthday cake. They served the food and kept filling glasses with drinks. It was a fantastic birthday and food was lush! Everything came up to £1200.

Emonade · 24/01/2026 21:46

naavaaira · 22/01/2026 20:26

“Spending money on someone is a substitute for real love and affection”

Thats a really unfair blanket statement to make. My husband works EXTREMELY hard, and like other posters have said it’s a special occasion, not every birthday, party or anniversary is like this. As I mentioned in my original post we have never done something like this before. Not that I need to explain myself.

I feel you are being judgemental.

Ignore all the knobheads arguing with each other and being twatty. If you can afford it go for it, it doesn’t sound madly expensive. Have an amazing time!

MrTwisterHasABlister · 24/01/2026 21:59

@ByCandidRobin is that a typo? 10 bottles of fizz between 30 people? Or are you not big drinkers?

If I had 4 friends round for a Friday night, I’d have 3 bottles of fizz, 2 white and 3 red. It might not all get drunk but I’d want to be able to accommodate choice.

ByCandidRobin · 24/01/2026 22:17

MrTwisterHasABlister · 24/01/2026 21:59

@ByCandidRobin is that a typo? 10 bottles of fizz between 30 people? Or are you not big drinkers?

If I had 4 friends round for a Friday night, I’d have 3 bottles of fizz, 2 white and 3 red. It might not all get drunk but I’d want to be able to accommodate choice.

No we are not big drinkers. A lot of the guests came from afar so at least one of each couple were driving so they could only drink a couple of glasses each. I'd actually bought some champagne as well but those were not touched. Even the guests who stayed overnight just wanted a cup of tea late at night once the party was over. You and your friends sound like fun though. I invited a couple of friends round for dinner once and opened a couple of bottles of wine. I thought that was plenty. Imagine my shock when they demanded more lol. I guess I mustn't assume everyone is like us. Me and hubby open a bottle of red on Friday night and another Saturday night. That's it for the week

AndyD1966 · 24/01/2026 22:17

Just do it, life is too short to put a price on everything that matters!

CateSummers27 · 25/01/2026 06:12

If it’s something your husband will love than the cost can be spared. Sounds slightly on the high side to me though.

Crazykatie · 25/01/2026 07:07

If you are doing it in your own garden with your own catering £600 is ample, the cost skyrockets if you employ caterers or hire a venue, buying alchol at supermarket prices is really cheap compared to restaurants.
Prepare some of the food yourself, buy some samosas, bhargees and other finger food.
I only spent £1200 on husbands birthday and 120 turned up, food just lasted, but a lot of booze was left over.

seriousandloyal · 25/01/2026 08:14

I think that is a reasonable price OP, it sounds like a great party that you have thoughtfully planned and I hope your husband has a brilliant time and feels appreciated on his birthday.

Hufflemuff · 25/01/2026 08:17

ClicketyBayey · 22/01/2026 16:29

I hope it’s not February 10th because on that day

Monday February 10th 1986 I came home from school to discover my mum had read my diary! 😮

Believe me OP you did not want to be me that evening !!!!!! The trauma!!!!!

This has to be one of the weirdest yet creatively stretched "make it about you" attempts I have ever seen.

NavyTurtle · 25/01/2026 08:43

ClicketyBayey · 22/01/2026 16:29

I hope it’s not February 10th because on that day

Monday February 10th 1986 I came home from school to discover my mum had read my diary! 😮

Believe me OP you did not want to be me that evening !!!!!! The trauma!!!!!

WTAF ?

NavyTurtle · 25/01/2026 08:45

Furlane · 22/01/2026 16:44

A good Turkish takeaway around here would be over £25 per person (as in a big celebration meal with all the trimmings, not just your usual shish/salad/dips/bread/rice).

£5 per head for alcohol?!! I know Mumsnetters don’t drink, but this is a 40th birthday party!! I would have thought people would have more than one glass of wine!! Yes, people will probably bring some, but you don’t want to run out of drinks in your 40th, that would be a very sad party! It doesn’t go off, I wouldn’t scrimp on drinks.

Mumsnetters don't drink ???? What is this fuckwittery.

Purpleispretty · 25/01/2026 11:05

ClicketyBayey · 22/01/2026 16:29

I hope it’s not February 10th because on that day

Monday February 10th 1986 I came home from school to discover my mum had read my diary! 😮

Believe me OP you did not want to be me that evening !!!!!! The trauma!!!!!

Tf?!

SnappyJadeJoker · 25/01/2026 18:33

madaboutpurple · 22/01/2026 17:46

I am glad you are not my neighbour as it seems it will be a noisy event. That would drive me mad OP.I hope it goes well and that you finish at a reasonable hour. Please remember your neighbours might be nurses/doctors who need their sleep. I wouldn't like to go to a mobile nightclub myself and I would be concerned with upsetting neighbours. Would you be able to book an indoor venue?

Mumsnetters are an unreasonable bunch at the best of times but you must be the worst of them all

EllesmereCats · 25/01/2026 19:45

naavaaira · 22/01/2026 16:23

Posting here for traffic.
I am organising a surprise party for my husband’s 40th. He is the kind who loves being centre of attention and would love the surprise! I have never ever organised a proper event like this so have no idea of average cost and your input would be appreciated. I’m looking to cater his favourite Turkish food, inflatable night club in the garden, alcohol, cake, nibbles, and other bits all coming to around £1200 for 16 adults and 8 kids. Does that sound average or a lot?

I've been married several times, and no-one has ever organised a surprise event for me, or indeed any event at all (I'm a guy so maybe not a surprise). The fact that you're organising anything at all will be enough by itself. I wouldn't worry at all about how much your are spending. Even if it's just a 50 quid picnic it will be appreciated.

PickleRickChick · 26/01/2026 05:41

madaboutpurple · 22/01/2026 17:46

I am glad you are not my neighbour as it seems it will be a noisy event. That would drive me mad OP.I hope it goes well and that you finish at a reasonable hour. Please remember your neighbours might be nurses/doctors who need their sleep. I wouldn't like to go to a mobile nightclub myself and I would be concerned with upsetting neighbours. Would you be able to book an indoor venue?

Oh get over yourself. 🙄

PickleRickChick · 26/01/2026 05:45

Placetobreathe · 22/01/2026 18:29

Oh my goodness. MN certainly highlights the them and us culture doesn't it?

I can't even envisage a world where spending this much on a 40th birthday would be considered normal.

Entitlement and privilege springs to mind.

Are you being serious right now?

Eurovisionwatcherbecauselol · 26/01/2026 07:31

naavaaira · 22/01/2026 16:23

Posting here for traffic.
I am organising a surprise party for my husband’s 40th. He is the kind who loves being centre of attention and would love the surprise! I have never ever organised a proper event like this so have no idea of average cost and your input would be appreciated. I’m looking to cater his favourite Turkish food, inflatable night club in the garden, alcohol, cake, nibbles, and other bits all coming to around £1200 for 16 adults and 8 kids. Does that sound average or a lot?

Cheap to me, lucky him, I'm arranging my hubby's big birthday and it's a small affair costing nearly £1000