To think current concerns over screen time is bordering hysteria

[Tiredboymum22]

I think it’s over the top.

If my kids didnt have screens, nothing would get done. I’m mostly solo parenting. Family can’t babysit, husband works late 6 days a week. Childcare costs are through the roof.

I have a 6-year-old with ASD and a very hyperactive toddler. Eldest is obsessed with numbers and Minecraft, uninterested in his little brother a lot of the time. Up at 4.30 am most mornings too. I give my toddler the tablet when I’m trying to cook or tidy up (once he’s done playing with his toys).

I am criticised by older members of my family and told I should let him “help me” cook. Sorry but no.

Now I’m seeing countless articles and comments about the harm of too much screen time, but I think people are missing a lot of nuance.

aibu?

I was obviously talking about those who were actually affected…..

Even so, it’s raised awareness that’s causing the increase in diagnosis.

My DD said her first word at 5 months and her first full sentence before she was 1 followed by speaking in full sentences at 16 months. She could count to 10 just after 18 months and was what the school called a ‘Free Reader’ by year 2! Yet I had to have her sit and watch BabyTV and educational baby shows as I’m a disabled single parent and though it was done in moderation, so no, not lots of it by any stretch, she definitely watched tv from just a few months old. What you are describing is your confirmation bias…. Your child is hitting his developmental milestones at an average rate for his age and is nothing to do with how many scary screens he’s looked at! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

No I think excessive screen time turns kids in to zombies. It causes more meltdowns in our house! I also know of kids with ADHD and tics that are so much worse the more screen they have. It isn’t good for their brain development.

Perhaps they did, but not in the living memory of many of us. I’m 41 and my parents were very hands on… lots of trips to the park and the woods and we had very hands on grandparents and lots of visits with them and holidays and days out. We also had a large and well-equipped garden and lots of toys and games. But when my parents needed our quiet and calm at home (to get stuff done) we were put in front of the TV and our numerous VHS tapes of Thomas the Tank and Sooty and Rainbow. I also had a TV in my room from very young. In my middle-class, leafy world this was not unusual.

Okay- I know that was far more curated and online is an endless opportunity for endless videos that it’s harder for parents to control (and that some parents don’t even attempt to control what their kids are watching). Video now is also portable in a way in wasn’t then (although we do have a portable DVD player in the car from early in the technology). And I do understand the dangers online for children (and do restrict my own children’s use of them- they don’t just have endless freedom). But as someone who had square eyes for most of the late 80s and 90s, I do think that some people’s fear is bordering on hysteria around this issue.

No restrictions for my kids - both applied to Oxford, very high achieving and self motivated, they learnt the hard way if they decided to stay up late online that they are still getting up in the morning. No helicopter parenting here or pressure. Depends on the child, or (and) how they are raised.

Babies and toddlers in buggies with phone/tablet or vast majority of children in restaurants all with a tablet is a fairly recent trend. They aren’t looking at surroundings or interacting with parents or other people at all. Children learn by seeing and doing. Anaesthetised said above is a good description. It’s very different to a child playing in living room and play school on tv.

I've got more than three decades experience teaching primary age kids.

I cannot begin to describe the disaster that is trying to teach a class in 2026 compared to all the years pre 2010.

The decline in absolutely every skill necessary to be a functional and autonomous young person is breathtaking.

Whilst there are various reasons for this, screen time and internet usage are destroying your children's capacity to think critically and independently. Language skills are at an all time low. Babies are handed the phone to drool over you tube nonsense, missing out on just listening and interacting with the real world. The vocabulary of the average 10 year old today is woeful compared to previous generations.

Honestly, to read that we're being hysterical about too much screen time makes me want to tear my hair out with frustration.

Nope. i’ve worked with kids for 30 years. The excessive use of screens when children are babies and toddlers is utterly ridiculous and replacing physical play which they need for all areas of development. Concentration is nil they scroll and scroll short videos from a tiny age for that hit. It’s so sad.

Tech is needed in moderation and shouldn’t replace proper Play and socialisation/communication.

She's not a single mum. She's got a husband. There are two of them parenting the kids. Four, if you include the screens.

ADHD is nothing to do with screens! I was diagnosed in 1988 at 4 years old and my parents didn’t then even own a tv! I promise you, a diagnosis of ADHD is not given lightly nor easily, as you yourself should know very well.

I absolutely agree with this.

If you read the OP properly, she clearly states that her DH works late 6 days a week. As a single parent myself, I know that the majority of the physical parenting is done during these times. The man obviously hardly sees his kids!

I remember my mum having a go at me for "always having your nose in a book"

Now it's oldies having a go at us for our kids being on iPads.

Some are never happy with what kids/GC do

I’m amazed your kids’ friends all had phones in the 90s- really? I was a young adult in the late 90s. The only person I knew that had a mobile phone then was my Dad and he worked in the City. I got my first mobile phone in 2003. They really weren’t widespread at that time- at least where I am in the South East.

I personally think it’s tablets and phones that are the source of the problem rather than tv.

Ever widening criteria? What source do you have for this nonsense please? Don’t make things up to fit your discriminatory narratives please

When my step son goes to his mums at the weekend there is unlimited screen time. He stays up and plays x box while she goes to bed.

The difference in him on the Monday and Tuesday after those weekends is scary. He's like a different boy. Can't focus, concentrate or even comprehend simple instructions.

At home he has limits on everything screen related and he's out playing, reading, board games etc. And to be honest, is a much better natured boy than when he comes home.

Ok but truly every other poster on here has a child with ASD and ADHD. I’m actually surprised to open a thread about anything and not see a mention of it somewhere

TVs and screens really aren't the same. A TV can be part of family time, watching programmes together, then talking about them afterwards. You can't and don't do that with screens. Let's face it, 99.99999% of what's on YouTube and TikTok is just brainrot drivel - and that's aside from the bullying and harmful influences. TV is regulated - back in the 90s, kids just didn't really watch adult's programmes. The internet is the Wild West - and you can carry it around so it's with you the entire time. If people were worried about TVs giving us square eyes, then the threat posed to children's health by the internet and screens is exponentially larger.

TVs and screens really aren't the same. A TV can be part of family time, watching programmes together, then talking about them afterwards. You can't and don't do that with screens. Let's face it, 99.99999% of what's on YouTube and TikTok is just brainrot drivel - and that's aside from the bullying and harmful influences. TV is regulated - back in the 90s, kids just didn't really watch adult's programmes. The internet is the Wild West - and you can carry it around so it's with you the entire time. If people were worried about TVs giving us square eyes, then the threat posed to children's health by the internet and screens is exponentially larger.

ADHD is real, but also, people with ADHD often need to be active - to fidget, run about etc.

The problem with screens is that they mean a lot of sitting in one spot and not moving, so IMO it seems obvious that too much screen time in a person with ADHD (or similar neuro diversity) will result in rebound hyperactive behaviour once off the screen.

I say this as my experience is as a (probably ADHD) neurodivergent person who is techy and works on a screen and then spends too much time in MN 😂

DC is the same, and it is very obvious when she has crossed the threshold between enough and too much 😵‍💫🫨🤯🫣

Screen time is great and a really useful tool but also really bad for me and makes me a bit nuts.

You don't need to decide whether screens are good or evil.

They can be both 🤷

There is no increase in ASD or ADHD, there is an increase in DIAGNOSIS! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

teachers of 20+ years will say otherwise

Obviously different for every family but I am almost 40 - we definitely watched plenty of TV / videos in the 90s as did my friends & in the early 2000’s every teen I knew spent hours on MSN messenger on the PC every night!!

However it was probably a bit more balanced and we had more time playing outside and had to sit and watch what our mums were watching after a certain point when kids TV ended for the eve. Streaming services / YouTube have probably made the problem a lot worse.