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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
magicstar1 · 22/01/2026 16:24

I find it depends on the person asking. I went to college with a lovely girl and we were great friends, but if she touched my food it turned my stomach. She asked for a sip of my drink once and I gave her the can as I couldn't bring myself to touch it after her. I couldn't tell you why, it's just some people.
Twice recently we were out in PIL and I got a couple of cocktails. FIL normally drinks beer and said that my drinks looked interesting. I asked did he want to try it (thinking he'd take a sip from the side), and he used my straw. It didn't bother me at all and I was actually surprised at myself.

BillieWiper · 22/01/2026 16:28

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 16:07

Do we have the same friends?!

This is exactly what gets my back up with my friend I met today, she is practically willing me to have something she wants and then says “oh I’ll have a taste of that” or “I’m looking forward to trying yours”

It’s always the men who are sat waiting like dogs to finish any scraps you might have left, you can tell the ones who haven’t been properly trained and don’t bother to hide it.

Haha, it certainly sounds like it! 😂

I have one friend, bless her, who was so eager to eat the remainder of my mussels that she ate them, then poured the cream sauce into a glass and drank it! I was pretty repulsed by that. Though I did offer her the dish.

But yeah it is usually the men who are worse!

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 22/01/2026 16:30

SpidersAreShitheads · 22/01/2026 15:54

So would you feel the same if you offered your leftovers? Is it just because they take it without asking?

Because I totally get the annoyance of someone taking food from your plate without asking, even after you’ve finished.

I don’t offer my leftovers routinely but I’d never mind if someone asked. I would actively offer if I had something completely untouched like maybe a naan bread, for example. I would feel quite irritated though if they just helped themselves, even if I’d finished.

Actually there's a bit of a side story, because if I've left food because it was basically crap, I sort of want the restaurant to see that it's half eaten. You can't make that (admittedly rather peurile) point if someone else has scoffed it!

To answer you more directly if someone has finished their meal but still wants half of mine I'd still not want them to; they should have ordered more!

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 16:32

BMW6 · 22/01/2026 15:23

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.

So did she eat your food as well as her own??

No she said she “only wanted a taste” and I was selfish because I know she loves to try other peoples food when she eats out and “it’s part of the experience of eating out” and I clearly have food issues because my attitude isn’t normal.

I said smoked salmon and scrambled eggs wasn’t exotic and I wasn’t depriving her of some magical food discovery and it wasn’t up to her to decide she could help herself to other people’s food they had paid for because her wants don’t mean she has the right to trample other people’s boundaries.

We aren’t speaking but I’m proud of standing up for myself.
I was the least confrontational person ever and such a people pleaser, I’ve been having therapy because I was constantly letting people walk all over me so this was probably a big shock to her that I’ve argued back.

OP posts:
Laura95167 · 22/01/2026 16:38

I think the not liking someone ask about your meal a bit weird. Its conversation and they may try it next time

But with your friend its not about the food but the disrespect of saying im still trying yours after being told no. Id have walked out and left her to pay and said, if youre eating it you can pay for it. Thats horribly rude.

Greyhound98 · 22/01/2026 16:39

I agree 100%
Treat people like this like scrounging dogs with stern NO!! 😂
Anyone taking food off my plate better be prepared to be stabbed with my fork. Rude awful behaviour.

C152 · 22/01/2026 16:43

You're hanging around with the wrong people, OP! I don't know anyone who shares food in this way, unless they're in the loved up stage of dating. It's certainly extraordinarily rude of your 'friend' to ignore your very clear wishes and just reach over to steal from your plate. I don't think I'd stay friends with her after that.

LindorDoubleChoc · 22/01/2026 16:46

I'm with you OP. I always find it odd and definitely yucky when people want to try what I'm having, or offer me a taste of theirs. I don't like being put in the position of having to say no, like I'm being unreasonable! I didn't even tolerate it from my children when they were younger.

RottenBanana · 22/01/2026 16:58

I had a colleague who used to help himself to my chips without asking. And he would never just take one, he would touch a load of them. The day I decided I had had enough, I reached over, stuck my finger in his bowl of soup and stirred, then licked my finger. He was horrified and disgusted. I told him that was how he had been making me feel for however long. He never did it again.

SatsumaDog · 22/01/2026 16:59

YANBU, I hate this too. Very occasionally DH and I will agree to order different desserts if we both like the look of 2 and can’t decide, but that’s an up front agreement. I’ll share things with immediate family; for example when the kids were young I offered them a small amount of things to let them try a new taste. Otherwise I don’t share food.

Beaverbridge · 22/01/2026 17:03

Another one in 100% agreement with you. You'd hate my OH, s family they are the worst I've ever seen. Odd time I've been in a restaurant with them it's toe curling. They all agree to order something different then take a bit and pass the plates round the table. OH knows I'm dying inside so he announced we, re ordering what we want and eating it ourselves. Thing is they think they're upper class. His sister was the first person I could identify as having the "tinkly" laugh and waffs about with aperol spritz as if she invented it!!.

Swiftie1878 · 22/01/2026 17:04

If it were just this one friend that had caused you to be so angry, I’d agree that YANBU.

However, there seems to be a long list of people, so I’m wondering if it’s actually you who is a bit odd/proprietorial around food?

ThejoyofNC · 22/01/2026 17:07

I don't know anyone who does this. In guessing it's more about being stingy than anything else. Guarantee these people never want to just pay half each but pay for their food down to the penny.

Therealjudgejudy · 22/01/2026 17:11

Totally agree with you op.

Some people are grim..

Tink3rbell30 · 22/01/2026 17:13

You gave her your meal? Did you sit there awkwardly with no food while she ate your meal?

HomeTheatreSystem · 22/01/2026 17:13

She should know by now that you don't like sharing food off your plate and the fact she keeps doing it suggests she cares more that she should have your food than that your wishes be respected.

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 17:14

soupyspoon · 22/01/2026 16:17

Oh dear. I always offer someone a taste of my food as I want them to experience it and I love a taste of other people's.

You might be the perfect person to ask then…

What would you class as “a taste?” If it’s a meal with multiple components like rack of lamb or fish with potatoes and 3 different types of veg or a mixed salad with multiple ingredients, then would you pile everything together on a fork, let them just try the lamb or protein in a salad or a bit of everything if it’s all really nice?

If it’s just one forkful of food what’s the point? What if the other person then wishes they had ordered the same?
If It’s several forkfuls and you don’t like theirs then you are a big chunk of your meal gone?

Why can’t you just get pleasure out of what you ordered and talk about the taste and flavour and recommend it so they can try it next time? The other person would surely know from the ingredients if they would like it or not?

Apologies for the aggressive questioning! This is obviously something that divides people and I’m interested in why some people think I’m missing out or being unreasonable. So far no one has answered explaining the point in the whole “having a taste” thing which is partly why I posted.

My friend likes to try everything on my plate, if it’s something like a risotto then she has a big fork or spoonful, if it was lamb, veg etc then she would want to to have a piece of everything.
I find it bizarre because I know she’s tried it before so as a pp hilariously said it’s not like it’s fish eyelashes or something that she’d never get a chance to try again.

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 22/01/2026 17:15

Noshowlomo · 22/01/2026 14:05

Oh my Christ I’ll always remember, I think it was 1997 and my friends and I had started eating in pubs, drinking our pints thinking we were so grown up. It was the days you could smoke indoors, so that was bad enough, people puffing around the table.
My food was put down before my friends and before I could react she reached over, and grabbed some chips before I could say anything. She had been smoking so I just remember her yellow faggy fingers grabbing some of my chips “because she was starving”. Absolutely rank!
It’s rank, and I’m on your team OP. If you want something else order something else!
Blech

My mum is 79 now, and still remembers the time when she was on her work break. She was holding an apple that she was eating. The colleague sat next (or nearby) suddenly said, "Ooh, I'll have a bite of that!" and, Mum shits me not, leaned over and actually took a bite out of the apple in her hand! 😲 🤬 Mum responded with, "Here, fucking have it!" and pretty much flung it at the cheeky bitch. Honestly, some people are just fucking unbelievable.

XelaM · 22/01/2026 17:16

Omg I am so with you on this OP!!! It drives me absolutely crazy!!! My teenage daughter does this to me EVERY BLOODY TIME she sees me eat or drink anything and it's driving me bananas. She also tells me I'm overreacting 👹

chattyness · 22/01/2026 17:18

Next time just say to your friend "touch my food & you'll feel my fork"

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2026 17:23

@HereComesAuntySocial first I would never do this without asking or permission, second I will happily give a taste of mine in return, third I would largely do this with family not friends, unless pre agreed to share a pudding.

but - if I ask for a taste and then prefer DS’s meal or whatever, I suck it up. Mine will no doubt still be nice. I would do it mostly for something unusual - roast chicken, no; chicken in a saffron and samphire sauce, or whatever - maybe! I would only want to try one element not the whole thing, and it’s best if DS (say) cuts me off a bit and puts it on my plate - I don’t get in there with a giant spoon to scoop up masses.

OtherS · 22/01/2026 17:23

I usually offer a taste of my food at the start of a meal, I or they use clean cutlery to put a bit on their plate. I would obviously not let someone else's used cutlery near my food, nor would I put mine near theirs. Definitely think it's very normal to offer, but wouldn't be offended if someone didn't. And certainly if I offered and they didn't, I'd take the hint.

TheToothFairy999 · 22/01/2026 17:28

My son broke off a relationship because his girlfriend refused point blank to share food and he said it showed she had a mean spirt.

UnctuousUnicorns · 22/01/2026 17:34

TheToothFairy999 · 22/01/2026 17:28

My son broke off a relationship because his girlfriend refused point blank to share food and he said it showed she had a mean spirt.

Good for her! 👍

ginasevern · 22/01/2026 17:38

BillieWiper · 22/01/2026 16:28

Haha, it certainly sounds like it! 😂

I have one friend, bless her, who was so eager to eat the remainder of my mussels that she ate them, then poured the cream sauce into a glass and drank it! I was pretty repulsed by that. Though I did offer her the dish.

But yeah it is usually the men who are worse!

Fucking hell, that sounds gross.

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