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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
fetchacloth · 24/01/2026 00:00

YANBU that's gross behaviour and very bad manners.

daleylama · 24/01/2026 00:01

Owly11 · 22/01/2026 21:36

I think this must be about you for the simple reason that you seem to be surrounded by people who want to taste your food and this is not normal. I don't think I have ever met anyone that has asked to taste my food and can't believe that so many are trying to taste your food. You must be giving off some kind of weird energy. As for your friend diving in when you said no - you must be not saying no firmly enough. You really need to work on your boundaries.

Completely agree. She has an abnormally large number of food stealing acquaintances

ImogenBrocklehurst · 24/01/2026 00:35

The whole point of going to eat with others is to share 🤷‍♀️

BettyTurpinPies · 24/01/2026 00:41

It really isn't, @ImogenBrocklehurst . You eat with them not pinch or beg food.

UnctuousUnicorns · 24/01/2026 00:43

ImogenBrocklehurst · 24/01/2026 00:35

The whole point of going to eat with others is to share 🤷‍♀️

Nope, the whole point of going to eat with others is to drink one's drink from one's vessel, and eat one's food from one's plate/bowl, while chatting convivially to one's dining companions. Not to nick others' food because one is a greedy, ill-mannered, ignorant oik.

BettyTurpinPies · 24/01/2026 00:45

There are some philistines on here.

UnctuousUnicorns · 24/01/2026 00:53

dizzydizzydizzy · 23/01/2026 23:26

OMG. DM always insists on giving me forkfuls of her food. She often plonks it on my plate without asking or does ask, I then often reply with "no thanks" but she doesn't listen to my answer so gives it to me anyway. I then feel obligated to give her some of mine. I don't mind too much if I was tempted to order what she chose but it is quite often something i don't particularly like and then it is very annoying. Grrr!

In that case, I'd just immediately dump the bloody stuff back on her stupid plate, because I don't take any shit, just like my mum herself. But then, my mum would never for a second foist anything unwanted on her 55 year old daughter - thank fuck!

BeanQuisine · 24/01/2026 02:09

"I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating"

Be careful where you place your eyes when dining near the OP, or she may approach you menacingly, snarling "Was you staring at my meal? Was you?"

PollyBell · 24/01/2026 02:49

ImogenBrocklehurst · 24/01/2026 00:35

The whole point of going to eat with others is to share 🤷‍♀️

Since when?

PollyBell · 24/01/2026 02:49

ImogenBrocklehurst · 24/01/2026 00:35

The whole point of going to eat with others is to share 🤷‍♀️

Duplicate

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 24/01/2026 07:39

A similar thing - I have a male friend who would meet up with us (two or three women) in a pub and would just grab one of our almost full drinks and down it, laugh, then disappear off to talk to someone somewhere for a few minutes. He’d also hover around the bar if we were getting a drink and said “oh order me one too!” and then magically find someone else to say hello to the other side of the room when it came time to pay. In the end we all had to get VERY firm with him!!! Cheeky fucker!

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 24/01/2026 07:43

I also have a female friend who when we meet as a group for lunch says she’s eating later so will just have a drink. You’ve guessed it, she eats most of the bread and everyone’s leftovers! But she wouldn’t dream of helping herself to anyone’s food. She waits to be offered and is very polite about it. You never get the feeling she is hovering or willing you to leave anything.

LadySpratt · 24/01/2026 08:30

If you enjoy her company, then get rid of the issue of her invading your plate by ordering the same thing, or something she doesn’t like?

Failing that can you erect some sort of defence out
of glasses, bottles, and other accoutrements on the table that would make it quite awkward for her to get her fork over?

I feel your annoyance.

OlivePeer · 25/01/2026 11:40

Kind of surprised to see how many people consider sharing all the dishes to be normal when ordering Indian or Chinese takeaway... I order the specific (main) dish I want because I want a full meal of that thing, not a patchwork made up of a little bit of thing I actually want plus loads of bits of other less-nice things. It's vanishingly rare that I'd want several things equally on any one occasion, and would be quite annoyed if my dinner got divided up between everyone. I'd just refuse.

MusicalFruit2015 · 25/01/2026 14:06

I don't mind sharing food in certain social situations, but my Mum used to do this when we were kids, and still does it, without asking, and it is gross. I don't know why it grosses me out / annoys me!
She does it to my kids who are very young, just takes food off their plate / snacks and when they get upset, she gets really huffy about it and saying they have to learn to share.

Gizzywizzywoo · 25/01/2026 14:31

Next time she wants to meet up suggest a walk in the park ( or somewhere ) with a coffee
No food! It pisses me off too, so i rarely eat out with anyone

Gizzywizzywoo · 25/01/2026 14:34

LadySpratt · 24/01/2026 08:30

If you enjoy her company, then get rid of the issue of her invading your plate by ordering the same thing, or something she doesn’t like?

Failing that can you erect some sort of defence out
of glasses, bottles, and other accoutrements on the table that would make it quite awkward for her to get her fork over?

I feel your annoyance.

Love the defence idea! She is a cheeky fucker id have to tell her in no uncertain terms to fork off 🤣

scottishgirl69 · 25/01/2026 14:42

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 15:58

I find it unfathomable that you think this is minor 😂.

Have you read some of the other comments from others who have suffered through similar ordeals on here? There is more than one person who is still dealing with unwanted food sharing trauma many years on.

I can understand though that if you haven’t experienced it that it might be difficult to comprehend the rage and distress you feel when someones slobbered on fork is suddenly stabbed into a meal you were throughly enjoying and the perpetrator thinks it’s acceptable because they offered you “a taste” of their food that if you’d wanted you simply would have ordered.

I might set up a support group now I’ve discovered there are so many others out there who understand the struggle.

Ordeals? So this friend has done this several times but you still kept going out to eat with her? Rage and distress?

Ferrfoxache · 25/01/2026 15:19

Yeah the Vultures can Fuck Off !! We have friends we go on holiday with and we all have a bit of each others food but it's offered, not asked for and they are like family to us so we are comfortable around them. But if i decide while at work that i fancy a Just Eat delivery from McD's, i feel as though i have to take delivery of and eat it in secret as there's always someone with a gaping big gob who likes to announce it to the whole planet then just stand there and talk shite while inside you are saying " Can you please fuck off and let me eat without an audience and running commentary !!" 🙄

Monty34 · 25/01/2026 15:30

If food was for sharing you would all agree what the order was to be.
I dislike those who order for themselves then want a taste of what you have too. Not out of menu envy, they just want to make you give some of your food to them. They also tend to make sure they order things they know you cannot eat due to allergies or dislikes.

If between a couple it is not a thing. But in a group it seems off.

scottishgirl69 · 25/01/2026 17:27

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 24/01/2026 07:43

I also have a female friend who when we meet as a group for lunch says she’s eating later so will just have a drink. You’ve guessed it, she eats most of the bread and everyone’s leftovers! But she wouldn’t dream of helping herself to anyone’s food. She waits to be offered and is very polite about it. You never get the feeling she is hovering or willing you to leave anything.

Im sorry but why would people put up with this? Someone coming out for a meal and hoovering up the bread and everyone's leftovers? Fair enough if someone is out with family or friends and someone can't finish their meal but to go out for a meal with friends and eat other peoples leftovers and all the bread (which I assume she's not paying for) is just tight. If she's skint which I'm not assuming she is then surely she could just come out for the drink without eating other peoples food?

LoopyLoo1991 · 25/01/2026 19:55

Another 'food crime' is women relationships refusing anything to be bought for them at takeaways ... and then eat 30% to 50% of it. This drives guys nuts but of course they rarely say anything as they'll get verbal backlash over it.
I've seen girl being asked two or three time if they want anything from a kebab shop; refuse; and then all the salad & ⅔ of the chips.
This happened a number of times apparently, so the guy in question ate his whole takeaway at the restaurant or in his car so he wouldn't be left hungry.

As some comedienne put it, this is how the subconscious 'girl logic' seems to work:
"I'm not making a pig of myself/going to get fat, because I'm not the one getting the take away"
(food arrives)
"That smells goood! Why didn't I get some! He won't mind if I take some ..."

So the guy who gets exactly what he wants to sate his hunger gets left unsatisfied & the girl subconsciously 'still hasn't had a takeaway' in her mind! The skit was hilarious & I'll try and find a link.

On the flip side if the guy gets her something despite her not wanting anything - because he's knows what will happen - gets berated for for 'trying to make her fat' ... poor guy's can't bloody win ... 🤦

So be certain if your man asks you 'do you want anything?' you can stand by your decision and not regret it later. It's not fair him being penalize for your choice.

SheilaFentiman · 25/01/2026 21:26

Feels like you stored up that rant for any vaguely related thread @LoopyLoo1991 - hope you feel better now it’s out.

LoopyLoo1991 · 25/01/2026 23:00

SheilaFentiman · 25/01/2026 21:26

Feels like you stored up that rant for any vaguely related thread @LoopyLoo1991 - hope you feel better now it’s out.

Why would you say that?

scottishgirl69 · 25/01/2026 23:41

LoopyLoo1991 · 25/01/2026 23:00

Why would you say that?

Because it has zero to do with the subject under discussion

Thank god I'm single and I don't steal my mans takeaway eh. All the salad and chips