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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for hating people wanting “a taste” of my food?

434 replies

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 13:06

I went out for brunch with a friend which we do quite often, we usually order different meals. .

Every time we go anywhere she takes ages to decide what she’s having and questions me about what I’m going to order and makes suggestions when I just want to choose my own bloody food!

When we get our meals she will start eating her own then eyeing up mine and ask me if she can “have a taste?”
I don’t understand this at all, It’s often something she’s likely to have had before, I don’t see the point in just trying a small amount of a meal because what if you really like it? Is it not disappointing knowing then you can’t have more or having food envy wishing you’d ordered the same?

Sometimes she offers me a taste of her food first (just the wording of this is really winding me up) and I know it’s so she can then dip into my meal.
If I refuse she keeps on at me but I’d had enough today so I said no firmly and told her I just wanted to eat what I’d ordered.
She laughed and said “well I’m still tasting yours” and before I could stop her she’d stuck her used fork into my smoked salmon and scrambled egg.

I lost my temper and pushed her fork away with mine and then said I actually didn’t want my food now and she could have it.
I was really angry and she seemed taken aback and said it was a complete overreaction and it’s normal to try each other people’s food when eating out.

Unfortunately I have experienced this before and I’ve been out with groups of friends where people have asked to taste each other food and I just think it’s so unhygienic and puts people under pressure to say no.
I also really hate people staring at what I’m eating and commenting on it with things like
“oh that looks nice? What’s in it? What does it taste like?“
I had to stop eating my lunch in front of other people at work feeling like I was expected to start offering it round.
I fell out with a colleague once who was hanging around quizzing me like he’d never seen a chicken baguette before, he got highly offended when I said he reminded me of a seagull waiting to dive bomb me.

Another food crime is people who don’t ask and just take food off your plate, I find that men are the worst offenders who ask if you are planning to finish your meal or wait until you are taking a small break from eating and lunge at it before you get a chance to stop them.
My BIL used to make comments like “you can’t possibly eat all that” or “where do you put it all?”It made me feel like he was trying to shame me into not finishing so he could eat the rest so I refuse to eat with him now unless it’s unavoidable.

I know some people say they love the experience of sharing food and it makes it more enjoyable to try different things, I have friends who start offering round “a taste” of their meals before they have even tried it themselves, I just find it weird!

Whilst all these are annoying scenarios to me, nothing is as bad as people who order a small meal or nothing at all claiming they aren’t hungry but then they change their mind and ask for some of mine - or worst still start helping themselves. There is a special place in hell for those people - especially when it’s a pudding I’ve been looking forward to, fuck off Janice we will not need “two spoons” 😂.

AIBU to get so pissed off about this or was Joey right when he just made it clear he doesn’t share food?!

OP posts:
Imbrocator · 22/01/2026 15:39

Sharing can be lovely, but it depends who you’re sharing with. I’d split two meals with a friend if we were both equally torn over two choices. If I’m eating or drinking something delicious I often offer a taste to people I care about because I want to share a really nice experience with them. It’s never with the intention of getting a bite of their food.

Usually etiquette suggests that the other person ought to offer. I’d feel very differently if a friend was constantly eyeing my dinner plate or offering only with the intent to get something back.

It does sound like you have high hygiene concerns though. Does it bother you to share food with a partner, hygiene wise (presuming you also kiss your partner)?

HarvestMouseandGoldenCups · 22/01/2026 15:40

ThreeSixtyTwo · 22/01/2026 14:14

I do like tasting bits and sharing meals. It allows me to assess whether I want to get that thing the next time, learn about a new taste, share recommendation, get just a one small bit of something less healthy I don't want a full plate of, taste something I suppose I wouldn't like but want to know, many reasons.

That said, your friend would annoy me and I wouldn't like to share with them for a few reasons:

1)I see it as ok to ask (once), ok to say no situation. Noone should just help themselves without asking. And asking means something only when you are ready to accept "no".

2)I don’t want other people’s used cutlery in my food or them eating the part of my meal I was looking forward to the most.
I actually agree with this. With wider family or friends we resolve the sharing/dividing/tasting pieces before we start eating. We distribute the tasting bites while the cutlery is clean and than everyone eats what ends on their plate.
My DP is an exception from clean cutlery rule, but it's our mutual agreement.

It's just one of those things some people like and some don't. And, to be clear, people around me join happily in tasting and exchanges, so it's not me being a CF.

I agree with all of this wholeheartedly. Only DH is allowed to put his mucky fork in my food because his mouth has been on mine lol.

RecordBreakers · 22/01/2026 15:45

Imbrocator · 22/01/2026 15:39

Sharing can be lovely, but it depends who you’re sharing with. I’d split two meals with a friend if we were both equally torn over two choices. If I’m eating or drinking something delicious I often offer a taste to people I care about because I want to share a really nice experience with them. It’s never with the intention of getting a bite of their food.

Usually etiquette suggests that the other person ought to offer. I’d feel very differently if a friend was constantly eyeing my dinner plate or offering only with the intent to get something back.

It does sound like you have high hygiene concerns though. Does it bother you to share food with a partner, hygiene wise (presuming you also kiss your partner)?

I agree.

I am VERY surprised by the vote and the comments so far.

You sound quite irrational OP. Food issues aside, your inability to control your temper when out with a friend for a sociable occasion is quite concerning.

Focca · 22/01/2026 15:45

I will only share with my kids or my OH at an absolute push. Everyone else, I'm Joey and I do not share food.

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 15:46

housethatbuiltme · 22/01/2026 14:19

I will maybe share a 'taste' with my husband but other than that no.

I had a co-worker who would hoover up bits of leftovers so would give him any tomatoes I picked out of food but in general never encountered this really other than that (and it was kind of just a quirky joke among the group 'oh, don't throw that away, save it for David'). He didn't watch you eat eagerly or pounce on your plate or anything though. They just always asked for anything someone was about to throw out so people just started putting their unwanted picked out bits to the side for him.

My middle child will constantly beg for others food or reach for their plate but only when at a seated formal meal. He does it even before eating his own food which is the same. He's never hungry at other times, has access to food constantly and we have no idea where he got it from or why he does it but we just block his grabs and remind him every time how rude it is. I'm hoping he will grow out of it because I have no idea how to fix it other than to keep telling him 'no'. Our other kids don't do it and never have and no one in the family does it so its not 'learned'.

”David” sounds like my seagull colleague who I fell out with.

He was like a constant hovering presence though and you could tell he was silently hoping you didn’t finish your food so he could finish any leftovers.

I remember someone posted on here once about going on a date to a pub with a man, he waited till people eating in the pub finished meals and left and ate any leftovers on their plates. I think I recall there was a sausage and some beans and it made me feel sick. I must try to find that thread because that must be one of the top food crimes!

My niece was like your middle child with food. I remember she stayed with us one night when she was 8 and we got a takeaway and she had a big meal.
Me and DP had ordered some super spicy chicken covered in chilli seeds. She begged and begged till we gave her some and gave her lots of warning but she ate it, she had tears streaming down her cheeks, was bright red and in obvious pain but it didn’t stop her.
My sister used to have to stop her going up to strangers in cafes and on picnics and asking strangers for food.

Shes a teenager now and has better manners but is still food obsessed, I think some people are just like that, my friend probably was once!

OP posts:
TheBlueKoala · 22/01/2026 15:49

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 14:04

I hate this as well, I always see it as a bit greedy because why would you want leftovers someone else has been eating?
My work colleague used to finish my half eaten sandwich which was just gross.

I don’t mind saving some for DP because I often can’t finish a meal and hate waste. I wouldn’t be happy if he just took food off my plate when I was eating.

I have an uncle that always does this because he can't stand waste. So even if he's not hungry and me or my dc or dh has left a half potato he will finish it 🤢. It doesn't bother me because it's not that he's sitting there lusting after my food- that I absolutely hate! With you OP- can everyone just eat their own food. And stop looking and commenting on it. DH is italian so we're never going to "get" each other's attitudes to this but he knows not to pester me- he would just get a miserable grunt in response😅

Quagmireschin · 22/01/2026 15:50

Yeah. I’m with Joey. I don’t share food.

I had a friend once who always wanted to buy a starter or a pudding “to share”. NO. Buy your own.

Quagmireschin · 22/01/2026 15:53

GhostMutt · 22/01/2026 15:12

You think this is bad…I have a friend (who to be fair has an eating disorder) who asks if she can smell my food just as I’m about to start eating.
There is no way she would eat any (calories/ allergens/ toxins) but she wants to basically nose taste it.
She puts her nose right up to it and inhales really deeply then says something about how she kind of wishes she “could” eat it but how ill it would make her feel etc.
The first few times I let her because I was sort of stunned, then I started saying no.

I am guilty of asking to smell dh food.

But I’m coeliac so my choices are very limited, or none at all when we go out as I can’t risk cross contamination.

I wouldn’t ask to smell a friends food though.

SpidersAreShitheads · 22/01/2026 15:54

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 22/01/2026 13:54

I don't even like it when people start taking my leftovers off my plate because I've finished eating. I still see it as my meal, so God help anyone who takes food off my plate while I'm still eating it!

So would you feel the same if you offered your leftovers? Is it just because they take it without asking?

Because I totally get the annoyance of someone taking food from your plate without asking, even after you’ve finished.

I don’t offer my leftovers routinely but I’d never mind if someone asked. I would actively offer if I had something completely untouched like maybe a naan bread, for example. I would feel quite irritated though if they just helped themselves, even if I’d finished.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 22/01/2026 15:57

RecordBreakers · 22/01/2026 15:45

I agree.

I am VERY surprised by the vote and the comments so far.

You sound quite irrational OP. Food issues aside, your inability to control your temper when out with a friend for a sociable occasion is quite concerning.

OP is not irrational at all, she's told the friend no, friend doesn't listen so she got angry. Good for her, the friend is lucky she didn't get a good forking

Happyjoe · 22/01/2026 15:57

Nope, this kind of behaviour is a bit annoying with partners, let alone friends.
As someone else wrote, stab with a fork, lol.

MyMilchick · 22/01/2026 15:58

ToddlerMumma · 22/01/2026 13:09

JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!!

Only came here to say this :p

She should respect your food boundaries OP. I love a food share though, tapas and sharing platters are what my group of friends usually do when we go out. My husband and I often order starters/mains jointly so we can have a bit of a few things 😁

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 15:58

BootMaker · 22/01/2026 13:19

Gosh! You sound unfathomably annoyed about minor things.

I find it unfathomable that you think this is minor 😂.

Have you read some of the other comments from others who have suffered through similar ordeals on here? There is more than one person who is still dealing with unwanted food sharing trauma many years on.

I can understand though that if you haven’t experienced it that it might be difficult to comprehend the rage and distress you feel when someones slobbered on fork is suddenly stabbed into a meal you were throughly enjoying and the perpetrator thinks it’s acceptable because they offered you “a taste” of their food that if you’d wanted you simply would have ordered.

I might set up a support group now I’ve discovered there are so many others out there who understand the struggle.

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 22/01/2026 15:59

It annoys the life out of me as well.

My children have been brought up to know they can ask only me or DH to try something if it's something they've never had, and they must ask before they use their fork/spoon on their own meal so it's a clean fork going into my food.

It's as annoying as people who state they don't want any sides and then decide they'll "just have a bit" 🙄

SheilaFentiman · 22/01/2026 15:59

Ask for extra menus and build a little wall between you before the food arrives?

PinkTonic · 22/01/2026 15:59

No to used forks in my food. No to sharing chips or pudding unless agreed at the ordering stage. I think a Chinese banquet is all about sharing dishes (using the serving spoons), and a curry is a bit different in that we normally share sides but not the actual curry, although I don’t always eat the whole dish and I don’t mind people trying the various dishes, including mine after I’m done. I don’t like people commenting on what I’m eating, it’s rude, and I would be annoyed at being asked for something off my plate.

Pomegranatecarnage · 22/01/2026 16:00

I hate it too. I have a friend who just reaches over to try my drink or food before I’ve had a chance to taste it. She’s an amazing friend in all other respects, so I live with it as I know she’d be offended. My DD does it too. It’s infuriating as well as unhygienic.

ThreeSixtyTwo · 22/01/2026 16:00

Quagmireschin · 22/01/2026 15:53

I am guilty of asking to smell dh food.

But I’m coeliac so my choices are very limited, or none at all when we go out as I can’t risk cross contamination.

I wouldn’t ask to smell a friends food though.

Asking to smell food / drink is quite similar- can be done with respect and bring joy, or can be done rudely.

In your case it is quite fine.
In the described case, with performative breaths and lengthy explanation to a friend how badly eating it would make the smeller feel, not so much.

GasPanic · 22/01/2026 16:07

Just don't eat with her again. Problem easily solved.

HereComesAuntySocial · 22/01/2026 16:07

BillieWiper · 22/01/2026 14:35

I do like sharing food but only when I'm volunteering to do so. I'm quite funny with food and eating out means I usually don't eat very much.

I have one friend who, as soon as I've decided what I'm having she'll say 'oh, I'll try some of that'. It's like she knows I'll probably offer but it feels kind of pushy to assume I'll have any to spare.

I had one male friend who'd just sit there eyeing up my plate, willing me not to finish it. He'd look crestfallen when I'd eat every crumb just to stop him being such a greedy sod.

Do we have the same friends?!

This is exactly what gets my back up with my friend I met today, she is practically willing me to have something she wants and then says “oh I’ll have a taste of that” or “I’m looking forward to trying yours”

It’s always the men who are sat waiting like dogs to finish any scraps you might have left, you can tell the ones who haven’t been properly trained and don’t bother to hide it.

OP posts:
Timeandtune · 22/01/2026 16:10

I am totally in agreement with the OP. Cannot abide compulsory sharing.
it’s a) unhygienic and b) greedy.

NotMeAtAll · 22/01/2026 16:11

I remember someone posted on here once about going on a date to a pub with a man, he waited till people eating in the pub finished meals and left and ate any leftovers on their plates. I think I recall there was a sausage and some beans and it made me feel sick. I must try to find that thread because that must be one of the top food crimes!

I remember that. It was disgusting.

I think your friend needs a fork in the eye. "I wonder if eyeballs make nice lollypops..." 🤔

Midgetgemsplease · 22/01/2026 16:15

MissCooCooMcgoo · 22/01/2026 13:14

I would not go out for food with her again! End of.

Same 💯%

soupyspoon · 22/01/2026 16:17

Oh dear. I always offer someone a taste of my food as I want them to experience it and I love a taste of other people's.

CurryTonite · 22/01/2026 16:24

You are NOT being unreasonable! I will give my DH a taste of my food and have a taste of his but as we also share a bed I feel like that’s fine, anyone else can fuck right off!

My mum is awful for this, last time she went on holiday she brought the kids back these tiny little chocolate bars, about the size of a Club biscuit, and as my 4 year old was about to bite it she asked for a taste and then ate half! She could’ve had as many as she wanted when she was on holiday, there’s no need to steal from a four year old!

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