Sleepover - opinions pls

[Daisydoo23]

My DD has been asked to go to a theme park and stay over in a hotel with her friend for her birthday and her family (mom, stepdad, brother and sister plus friend) so they get 2 days at the park. A bit of context:

My DD (11) has been friends with a girl from school for around 12 months.
I have spoken to the girls mom around 5/6 times at the school, a handleful of texts.
DD has said previously that the friend cannot go downstairs until told to (which i think is strange).
Neither have been to each other's houses for the day in that time, let alone sleepover

I understand it's a nice gesture, but AIBU to think it's bold of the mom to ask for the overnight stay considering the above? I personally couldn't ask someone for permission for their child to stay over elsewhere considering they haven't even stayed at my home or even visited for the day?

I have said that DD can go for the day but I'm not happy for the overnight stay, I know nothing about them, haven't met the other children or stepdad. The mom said the stepdad would take the mom and siblings and come back for my DD with her friend, well I drive, so surely it would be easier for me to just take her myself?

But I just wanted others opinions really. Wwyd have done in this situation?

I don't get why you would be surprised and disappointed if a parent said no to a sleepover, it's their child so I'd be sad for my child but thats about it, I'd respect their decision?
My reservations are as I said, I don't know the family nowhere near well enough. I think that's valid enough lol

I agree x

I am intrigued by the venue
I assumed Alton Towers and splash landings, but as another poster said , it is closed

They play together at school with some other children and play roblox together whilst on the phone. But neither have ever asked to go to each others homes and I've never suggested so that's why

It will be when they open again early April, we're in London.

If it's not happening until April that gives you lots of time to get to know them. I think what will happen is the friend Will end up inviting someone else and your daughter will be left feeling left out.

As things stand I wouldn't allow it. I'd drive DD to the theme park and pick her up in the evenings so she could enjoy both days but sleep at home. However it depends when the trip is, if there's enough time to get to know the other family and make sure she was comfortable with them and I trusted them beforehand then I'd try to do that so she could go if she wanted to.

If it’s the Lego hotel, the actual hotel stay is a big part of the fun.

What are the sleeping arrangements? If it’s in April, you have plenty of time to get to know the family, surely?

You don’t understand why someone would be surprised and disappointed to basically be accused of being a “predator”, to use the word from a different post? Okay then …

What I think is odd is to refuse an invitation on the grounds that you don’t know someone well, but not make any attempt to get to know them. So you are effectively teaching your child to never expand their circle of friends.

April but you don't think you've got time to get to know the family? 🤣

That’s incredibly rude of you. The party is a sleepover, and the birthday child probably would have chosen a different friend to invite if she’d known that your child thinks she can just come to part of it but not all of it.

It would be better if you just refused the whole invitation so that the birthday child can just invite someone else instead.

Children turn 11 in year 6, so yes, plenty of 11 year olds in primary school.

OP, my decision would be based on the sleeping arrangements. All sharing together, then no. But I would be very apprehensive if I didn't know the family well.

This would be a no from me, I wouldn't want my child in such a vulnerable situation.

I agree, patronising and self righteous

you have every right to decide your daughter can’t go to the sleepover but decline the whole invite, the hotel sleepover is probably the most anticipated part of the trip

So obviously you would decline the entirety of the party

What does this even mean? Where do children start secondary at ten?

I also think you should say no to the whole thing. I don’t think it’s fair to the other girl to just do a part of it.

That’s not fair to have your daughter only go to part of it and not stay over. That completely changes the dynamic - the birthday girl now misses out on being with her friend in the hotel whilst her sister has one.
either agree to it all or decline it all and let them invite someone else.

Yes very rude to say no to the sleep over only.

Of course if they are just turning 11

I get what you're saying, but for me it would take longer than a few months to get to know someone properly which realistically will only be a few meetings between now and then

Thankyou, my DD has not long turned 11.

But surely you would rather the friend be able to attend for the day as its better than not attending at all? Also the 2nd day would be spent just with family

I've obviously misunderstood, I assumed they were 11 turning 12

Seriously?

What - you want their whole life story and to meet the extended family?

A few months between now and April is plenty of time to invite the girl for a few play dates and havea couple of coffee meetings with her mother