to wish this was a woman only forum?

[raspberrychoc]

I know anyone can join and that's fair enough, I'm not actually trying to impose my wish on anyone or the site but it still always annoys me when I am reading thought a thread where a woman is posting for advice from other women and a man pops up saying "speaking as a man" or "from a blokes perspective" I always want to say I'm not interested in what you think right now, there is a whole world of "men's opinions" shoved down our throats from the time we are little girls and all though our lives on every aspect of our bodies, what we do and think. I'd love just one space like this with lots of women without it having men interject and that is before we even get to the men who pitch up looking for permission to have affairs or get their jollies from dubious posts.

"Women only, yelling in an echo chamber"

@Boomer55 So in your opinion women can only yell into an echo chamber and are incapable of reasoned conversation without a man popping on to give his sensible views? Interesting perspective.

I think I hate it more when someone writes “just asked my hubby and he says….”

But yes, I agree, I wish it was female only.

That’s such a weird thing to do. Do these particular men never stop to think maybe they are being a bit of a loser creep coming on MN with salacious motives. I mean, have some pride, it’s a mainly mum forum.

Yeah if someone's admitting to being one then fair enough. Though I'd rather they were definitely kept in the minority. It depends a lot on what they're talking about. There are certain boards where they shouldn't really even be lingering.

When they post, it's inevitably a thread about how they think their menopausal Mrs is depriving them of some kind of sexual activity or other. Or they're perplexed that they do 20% of the childcare and household admin and their Mrs doesn't seem to find it especially fair.

I don't know how many non disclosing men there are. I feel like we can often spot them. I mean being accused of being one on MN is probably more of an insult than people actually being male on here on the sly. 🤣

We all arrive with our own prejudice and preconceptions. We assume we have recognised who is male/female by how they interact but it tends to be more about our previous experiences than their sex.

My style has shifted a lot from exposure to feminists here. I don’t tone police myself or others as I used to feel obliged to do!

That's just vile.

Do you think a women's only space is an echo chamber?

Why don't they start a group called Dadsnet???

There is a Dadsnet! It's under In the Club on the talk homepage. I don't think it's very active though.

5128gap

Id assume they’re women given the topics and the polar views that have on men!!

Look what happened when Sall Grover tried to set up a women only forum, a man bullied her into gaining access and put her through a horrible court case. For anyone who hasn’t heard, look up tickle v giggle.

I agree OP. (Despite my username I'm not a man). There is a man on here who takes pleasure in mocking posters who help other women to see that a man is treating them terribly. He's obsessed with the idea that Mumsnet is some kind of marriage -wrecking coven - rather than actually learning about male patterns of behaviour that women put up with when they shouldn't.

Men have all of Reddit that they dominate if they want a forum. They come here "because it's useful and has lots of knowledge". Yes it does, built by women, using our time and energy. It's the internet equivalent of the man who constantly asks his wife where they keep the XYZ. It's relying on free female labour. If they want a forum like this for men, they should create it, maintain it, and put in the community hours themselves.

Edited to add:

Actually I think we should do what Mumsnet have done for Media Requests. Create a separate section of the forum where men start a thread transparently. That way we can decide if we want to engage and use our time in that way. They should also have to state clearly that they are a man in their username. In fact give all male members a formulaic username Man1, Man245, Man 942... Make it really clear.

"Male Requests".

Of course not. Because it's relying on men to put in the work to engage with it and answers one another's questions. Men are far too important for that kind of free labour and community building. They can use women for that.

Surely they exact same can be leveled at the posters advocating for a women only mumsnet.

They can go and establish their own but no they'd rather come on a site that has been set up as a mixed sex forum and impose their conditions on someone else's work

Fair enough. I assume people are men when they tell you your opinion is stupid or use laughing emojis instead of coming up with a decent rebuttal. I may be wrong, but it tends to fit patterns of behaviour of some men when a woman has dared to disagree and they can't think of a counter argument. They laugh and belittle because they can't stand being challenged and out argued by women.

If this sort of behaviour makes you assume those posters are men, you don't sound as though you have much experience of the internet or many women?

But it's not a balanced forum, it's primarily women and has a female noun in the title of the forum.

I was drawing on my real life experience of how men behave when challenged by women.
I've no idea what counts as 'much experience of the Internet or many women'. I use the Internet daily and I'm 56 with a lifetime of meeting countless women.

Yes, or recently on the political threads they post walls of pontificating texts, only intended to derail and patronise. One of them got in a hilarious strop recently when called out.

I always think calling someone ‘love’ sounds like an angry and patronising man. As a woman I might avoid using that term in case people thought I was an angry and patronising man.

True, angry and patronising women tend to say 'hun' on Mumsnet.

To be fair women post that too.

Exactly. If you don’t want to sound like a recently divorced out-of-work builder, best not to call women ‘love’ while you’re telling them off online for their pesky opinions.

But then this is exactly what some of the female trolls will be doing because they know it drives MNetters mad, along with 'Man here'.

Probably. I guess a wide berth is helpful in either scenario!