To lock the bathroom door?

[Skater78]

This seems such a silly thing to ask but I’d appreciate opinions.
If I am going to have a shower or use the toilet I lock the bathroom door. I like to have privacy in these moments, nothing going on just a regular getting ready for the day routine.
My DH says I should not lock the door it’s not normal to do so he should be able to come and go as he pleases in case he wants to brush his teeth or something.
The bathroom is very small but I’m not sure that’s even the point. Is it a big deal if I want 10 minutes privacy to have a shower on my own. He can brush his teeth around that or after his shower. I just feel like it should be respected as my choice. I appreciate some might not care but
AIBU reasonable to lock the bathroom door?

DH is a bit highly strung (inherited) and I’m more laid back.
downstairs loo thing is weird, he has a thing about not wanting to smell poo when using the upstairs bathroom, I mean Ideally we’d not smell it anywhere but that’s life. Poo smells bad. I might have exaggerated with only being allowed to use the downstairs loo, he’ll say this is the one we should use and he will moan but what can he do, nothing. Let’s get some perspective, is not nice to be moaned at but it’s not social services territory, it’s someone being a a bit uptight and unreasonable

NU. I have teeth cleaning stuff permanently in kitchen, so feel I should be able to have locked door if I need bathroom.

And what if no one needs the loo at that time and then all of a sudden after the other person is in the shower they do need the loo? What you are saying is if you're in the shower or bath then the whole time you are in there ppl have to gold bodily fluids and maybe bowel movements in? There's been times when ive had a lovely relaxing bubble bath and ive been lay there and my partner has had to pop in quickly for a wee I wouldn't make him wait as that could damage a man holding it in. Im also not controlling or neurotic either so im not bothered if he pops in for a quick wee whilst im in the bath or the shower im not gonna make him piss in the kitchen sink now that would be unhinged.

I personally would not lock the bathroom. BUT I would also expect my DH to knock and accept a „no“!

Ah yes, and if you ask for privacy you inevitably get the 'what are you trying to hide from me?' question.

he’s not always barging in but if he thinks it’s me in there he’ll 100% just open the door. And if I’ve forgotten to lock it he’ll come be straight in, admittedly if I’m on the loo I’ll tell him to get out and he will.
i asked the original question thinking I was right but just wanting to check I wasn’t being overly touchy about this.

Yes you can lock the door of course you can. I love my DH but it’s a basic human right to be allowed to pee in peace for 5 minutes

If op has more than 1 toilet then whats the problem? In fact whats the point of this whole thread? Ive got 1 bathroom with a bath shower and toilet in it.
It would be impossible to constantly not need the toilet when someone else is in there but the op has 2 toilets so why cant hubby use 1 whilst op uses another? Or am I missing something here?

We don't lock the door, but only because we know when it's occupied & we trust each other not to intrude.
Perhaps OP's DH has a fetish about urination and/or defecation?

Is your response to said moaning ‘No, we will not do that, stop being a controlling bellend’ or something similar? As it should be. Instead, it rather sounds like you’re being placatory about this nonsense behaviour.

There isn’t really any argument that needs to be made for locking the bathroom door or which loo you do a shit in beyond ‘this is what I want’. You don’t need to justify any of it to him. The issue appears to be that he has you thinking that you do.

Oh come on! He's not going to get serious health issues by having to wait 5 minutes for a wee. What would he do if he was at work or in another situation where he had to wait?

He did not need to wait for a wee , we have 3 loos!

Have you read all the OP’s comments?

I think it’s less being controlling and more being selfish. I want to use it so it doesn’t matter about whether you are comfortable.

Thanks all, I appreciate the perspectives you have brought .

So what is your problem then? You have 3 toilets thats more than most have why dont 1 of u use 1 bathroom and the other use another bathroom then there's still a bathroom free aswell what am I missing here?

While not a one off. He didn’t need a wee he wanted to brush his teeth.

YANBU
Everyone has a right to privacy. Whatever I do in the bathroom, and its really not all that interesting, but I have a right to do it with the door locked and no-ones expectations trump that. You shouldn't HAVE to lock the door, because his habit of coming in without knocking is completely unacceptable.
Also
My H (We are separated but have to share a home - long story) also dictated that no-one should do a poo upstairs. He also tried to suggest that no visitors to our home were allowed to use ANY loo at all but instead return to their own home. Neither of these 'rules' were implemented. <oh sorry dearest MIL I realise you've just travelled 3 hours to get here but your son doesn't want you to taint his bathroom with your evil wee so you can you just get in the car and drive to the nearest pub to empty your bladder?>
He clearly has OCD but for the most part we have ignored his list of 'rules' because they are simply ridiculous and enabling them/him (empty kettle before every use, etc etc) is no good for anyone in the household.

Warn him that you are going to shower, and to clean his teeth before that. Otherwise he can wait.
He sounds an awkward fucker tbh

? Could you not have agreed a 15 minute slot for each of you? Fine if you don't mind sharing but some people do mind, it doesn't make them selfish.

And whats the problem with that? Im sorry but I couldn't get worked up over something this small and insignificant.
Let the man brush his teeth for gods sake.

The two things are not mutually exclusive, OP. Selfishness and being controlling are very common bedfellows.

How do you respond when he does/says these things?

I do get mad at my partner for locking the door. I need to pee etc and he’s taking a 40 min shower! We do have an open door policy now. We come and go as we please. It’s a mini bathroom where only one can stand at a time.

I have never felt the need to lock the bathroom door and as the only upstairs WC someone can use it if needed (smaller child)! but the downstairs is an option (older child or oh). We also (as per previous poster) utilise kitchen or downstairs WC for teeth if needed. Privacy in families is all so very different tho. I can't imagine why I would need to lock the door, but it's also not ok your oh doesn't respect that you like it locked.

I vacated the bathroom while he came into brush his teeth. I did not start an argument about that. The argument started because he said that I shouldn’t lock the door and he should be able to come in any time he likes regardless of what I’m doing on the bathroom.
I disagree.
the thread gives more info if you wanted to know.
its not life or death. I just think I have the right to have privacy in the bathroom and therefore to lock it as he will not knock and ask if he can cone in, he’ll just come in and start doing whatever