To not buy a £1,000 present for DH birthday?

[DandyReader]

Usually, dh and I buy each other an experience for each other's birthdays. But this year, DH is turning 30. He said he'd prefer if I get him a gift. Fair enough, he'd like something to keep.

He has been banging on about getting a 'nice watch' for years. He could afford to buy one himself but knows it's a splurge. He has shown me multiple watches around the £1,000 mark and keeps dropping hints how he really wants a nice watch but can't justify that for himself. He hasn't explicitly asked, but I think he's hoping.

I could easily buy one for him, but I don't want to. I have savings targets to meet and don't want to start a precedent of spending silly money on gifts. AIBU?

Love the faux naivety... obviously there are watches at the 1K price point because that's what the OP's husband has chosen.

It's his 30th and if you can afford it why not? If you were saying you're broke and it's unreasonable fair enough but you are not. I assume he would/will do similar foe your 30th?

I'm a saver and don't really like waste and think YABU....

He is presumably the love of your life.
It's a milestone birthday.
It would make his heart sing.
You can afford it.

Dont be a 'orrible old grinch get him a nice watch!!!

How is that even relevant? They will both have a 30th birthday and it’s just a birthday!

Definitely not. DO NOT set a precedent like this. If you buy it, the next you know when he turns 50 he’ll be dropping “hints” about some other pointless gadget he wants, and again when he turns 100 you’ll find yourself stuck having to buy him a present again.

Give him a Swatch watch and a card that says, 'Sorry, but I love you less than my saving targets. I don't want to start a precedent of spending silly money on gifts. Happy 30th Birthday from your loving but miserly wife'.

Ps. I'm leaving all my savings to The Cats Protection.

OK - I made that last PS bit up.

It bloody well was when I turned 30! Any birthday that ends in zero is a big one in my circles. I can’t conceive of my bloke wanting something, me having the money to pay for it without any hardship and not buying it for him.

This is nonsense.

Buying one nice thing doesnt open a Pandora box of neverending consumerism

Do you have any jewellery worth that?

Faux naivety? I genuinely have no clue how much watches cost. I literally just looked up his watch because we were discussing the post. My last watch was a secondhand plain black Swatch from Vinted for a tenner, bought because my childhood bedroom had an oversized one hanging up.

I think this is the type of thing you could do easily get wrong and he should buy himself though.

'If you like watches, an entry level proper watch brand is about £3k.'

God could this post be any more nauseating.

You can’t take it with you OP. Of course it’s sensible to have savings targets but it’s a bit off to make this more important than a loved-one’s happiness. You can (presumably) earn more money but you can’t get a special time back. Nothing on this planet matters more than love.

Some people really are twats aren’t they?! 😆

But can OP take the risk? What if he asks for a top of the range electric wheelchair to celebrate his 100th and she has previously set a precedent by buying him a birthday present he wanted?

If you can then why wouldn't you you. It's cheaper than the watch I've bought my hubby in the past for birthdays etc if I think he'll like it.

And also incorrect 😉

I think you sound tight and mean. You can afford it, it’s a milestone birthday, it’s a classic piece that he will use every day.

Not rhetorical … Why would you not want to treat your OH to something you know they’d love for a big birthday if you can afford it?

Good idea. Get family and friends onboard and do a joint gift - win win.

While saving is important, the advantage of money is that it can help you enjoy life, through experiences or possessions. If you can easily afford a gift for a milestone birthday, especially when it is one which could be used every day, I dont understand why you would not do it. Favouring your bank balance over your husband is not a recipe for success.

Oh god I'd tell him a £50 watch tells the time just as well as one for a grand. I'm with you OP, what a waste of money.

If you can easily afford it I definitely would! Is it the hinting that’s putting you off maybe? I don’t spend far off that for my partner’s regular birthdays but I love gift giving, and if it’s something he’d love and you can afford it, why not?

I wish my husabnd had seen thigns this way. he was so so tight we didnt have essential things we needed

It's DH's birthday and you are refusing to buy him the gift he wants and that you can afford because it's going to mess up your spreadsheet?

You need to reassess your priorities and buy the watch you think your DH will treasure the most, and learn to enjoy seeing the pleasure he gets from it. Ignore the snarling resentment you feel inside at spending the money on your husband and look at your engagement ring. How much did that set him back?

Your lovely savings plan is important but it will survive the hit for a month or two,just this once (or maybe again when DH turns 40).