To not buy a £1,000 present for DH birthday?

[DandyReader]

Usually, dh and I buy each other an experience for each other's birthdays. But this year, DH is turning 30. He said he'd prefer if I get him a gift. Fair enough, he'd like something to keep.

He has been banging on about getting a 'nice watch' for years. He could afford to buy one himself but knows it's a splurge. He has shown me multiple watches around the £1,000 mark and keeps dropping hints how he really wants a nice watch but can't justify that for himself. He hasn't explicitly asked, but I think he's hoping.

I could easily buy one for him, but I don't want to. I have savings targets to meet and don't want to start a precedent of spending silly money on gifts. AIBU?

My husband and I would think the other was ridiculous for wanting such a useless gift.

A lot of things aren't necessary but if they bring happiness that's a worthwhile investment.

People spend thousands on yarn for crochet each year for enjoyment. People go to the cinema when they could just wait for the film to drop online.

If things you like are "hardly necessarily", why have lasagne for tea when you could just eat porridge?

I can't imagine spending £1000 on anyone as a gift, and I'd be absolutely mortified if anyone ever spent that much on me. I'd hate it.

As an aside, I don't see the appeal in watches at all, and £1000 on one is crazy.

But then I also don't understand the concept of 'big' birthdays or 'milestone' birthdays. They're all just birthdays, and you're only any age once!

Look at me with my pots of money. But no. Won’t buy my DH a watch for his 30th. Targets to meet. You know, he could be dead (or you) within months. You can’t take it with you. And a grand on a watch if you have it is nothing. An Omega is thousands. My sister got sick in the September and was dead by December. Brain tumour. Spend the bloody money

@Usernamesarenoteasybut she’s not buying the gift for you is she so who cares whether you would hate it?

£1k for a watch isn't big money. It's a milestone birthday and you can afford it.

1K for a watch isn't big money.

It would mean more to him if it was a gift from you than buying it himself.

Has he bought you any nice presents? jewellery etc?

What would you buy him otherwise? I’d rather spend £1k (if I had it) on something my partner really liked and wanted than, say, a quarter of that on something he didn’t want nor need. When you say he wants a £1k watch, do you mean he’s identified a watch that he likes that costs that, or that he just wants you to spend that on a watch? I’d be a bit more miffed if it was just a case of feeling he deserves to have £x amount spent on him. I know a few men with watches that cost several thousand pounds, I think it is seen as an accessory worth spending on.

I prefer experience gifts myself but gifts should be about the receiver.

What’s happened to all the adults don’t need presents, adults don’t celebrate their birthday posts we normally get on Mumsnet? I’m not in that camp at all but I am surprised by the answers on this thread.

1000%

It’s entirely up to you.

I bought my husband a Tag watch for his 40th and he still loves it 15 years on.

We do splurge on birthdays and Christmas gifts though.

YABU you're adults - surely you can agree on this? If he wants a watch and you can both afford it why on earth not?

I got a Cartier for my 30th (DH and I chose it together and our finances are joint) and I love it 15 years later.

A £1k watch won't be an investment. It might be absolutely lovely and give many years of pleasure on someone's wrist but it won't appreciate.

I appreciate that there have been some absolutely tone-deaf posts on this thread but if people are fortunate enough to have the kind of significant disposable income which means they can spend four figures on a watch then we may as well have some accurate information about the market. I know a few people who are quite nerdy about watches as an interest and they would advise a person who was in a position to do so to buy either an inexpensive watch or invest in a luxury one, but not to bother with the market in between. Seikos and Casios are very popular with watch enthusiasts.

At the £1k price point the only thing I'd consider would be a stainless steel Tag.

Obviously I'm aware of that 🙄
My point is so many people are saying to just spend the money, is he going to do the same for her etc etc, but OP might not want him to.

Yes, next time he turns thirty you'll have to buy something even more ridiculous 😂

My fault for being in the ‘our’ money camp once married. Haven’t had any ‘personal’ money for nearly 50 years and we seem to have managed to buy expensive and less expensive presents for each other without counting every penny spent on each of us. Especially when the present can be afforded and is what the recipient really wants, will enjoy, and treasure, whether it’s an ‘investment’ piece or just what they like.

I have a pair of ‘cowboy boots’ I’ve only worn a couple of times ‘out’ but I look at them every day and love them.

I have a pair of £40 earrings I love as much as I would if they'd cost £1,000 because I pointed them out in a jeweller's window and my husband went back another day and bought them.

If you can easily afford it, then why not? It’s a milestone birthday and something he can keep and wear for years. What’s your reason for not wanting to get it?!?

Huh? Of course it is!

I think she’s taking the piss

Wow!!! You sound delightful 🙄

Unreasonably because she said she can easily afford it, and has made the clear. Obviously is she was on the breadline it would be a different story.

You’re right. I bought my husband a camera he’s always wanted at £2k for his 40th. He got me a beautiful eternity ring.
we don’t get each other extravagant presents normally- however we do at milestones as something special

lol, don’t be ridiculous. A watch has watch, the price goes up if it has diamonds or a brand name that you are paying for but £1000 is plenty for an excellent watch.

I scoffed at first, too. But the thing is, £1k is not "nothing money". Even if you're comfortably off, that amount is a lot for most people. But it's not enough for a watch that will hold, or even appreciate in value.

Sounds like spending a few thou is an investment, whereas spending £1k is just flushing £800 down the drain. For an item you'd probably still be a bit nervous of wearing (what if it gets scratched or damaged or stolen, etc).

Go big or go home, I say.

Maybe the OPs DH never takes his Apple/Garmin/Samsung/Other smartwatch off and realises this £1000 present will be sat in a draw 98% of the time.