To not buy a £1,000 present for DH birthday?

[DandyReader]

Usually, dh and I buy each other an experience for each other's birthdays. But this year, DH is turning 30. He said he'd prefer if I get him a gift. Fair enough, he'd like something to keep.

He has been banging on about getting a 'nice watch' for years. He could afford to buy one himself but knows it's a splurge. He has shown me multiple watches around the £1,000 mark and keeps dropping hints how he really wants a nice watch but can't justify that for himself. He hasn't explicitly asked, but I think he's hoping.

I could easily buy one for him, but I don't want to. I have savings targets to meet and don't want to start a precedent of spending silly money on gifts. AIBU?

Yes, but OP won't benefit from the watch. The event is fine as she gets to enjoy the gift then too.

Why do some people get married if they dislike their spouses this much?

If you truly love someone, wouldn't you get great joy from buying them something special you know they'd love and that you can afford?

My DH's 40th is in August this year and I'm so excited to do something different and special for him.

Maybe a less romantic framing will help!

Most birthday presents aren't durable or valuable, you couldn't resell them. But a £1000 piece of jewellery is a marital asset, whether it's on his wrist or yours.

If you can truly spare the cash, you're only really "spending" the difference between the purchase & (theoretical future) sale price. If you can buy a something that will keep its value, or an upstart brand, maybe its future value is something you can get excited about. And then maybe he can do the same for you on another milestone birthday.

If not, pshah, let him buy his own watch. And I have no idea about watches as assets, maybe they're all trash. But an ex of a friend is crazy for them, has a little briefcase full of treasures he never wears, tens of thousands of pounds worth.

I suppose the reaction would depend on whether it would come from joint money or his personal spending fund, and whether they can afford it without limiting their other plans and life.

Now thinking about it, one of the reasons I don't like it is, that I pressumed he is not willing to spend it on himself from his personal money and expects OP to buy it for him from her personal money - when we don't know whether the OP would want something similar and whether he would be happy to buy that for her.

Yes, if you can afford it, go and buy for yourself. It feels good to make a decision about what you want.

It would be more of a waste to spend 200-300 on something he doesn't want. If you're going to get something he doesn't want, get him a 40 quid casio.

Love this

What’s your normal expectation around presents? For my 50th I got a night away, a Roka bag and a Lego orchid! That’s what I had asked for. My husband had a trip to London and ABBA voyage tickets. Even if he’d wanted a £1k watch I doubt he’d have asked me to get one as we just don’t buy those kinds of things as presents. I have an expensive watch but I bought it myself

Just because they're not PP or whatever doesn't mean they're crap and not worth buying

Sorry, what does PP mean in this context?

Patek Philippe I think. Not that you’d get one for £1000!

Totally with you on that!

Family holiday for everyone is very different from an expensive piece of jewelry/watch.

Ridiculous. Who even needs a watch these days?

Yes, Patek Philippe. Not 'previous poster' lol. PP are super expensive. But you don't have to get a crazy expensive watch for it to be something he loves - I was disagreeing with the suggestion that £1,000 can't get you a "good" watch. Just like you can buy a very lovely bottle of wine for a range of prices. If he likes it and wants it, it's good! She should be glad he's not as much of a watch snob connoisseur as some on this page...

Tbf I need a watch. I can't take my phone with me half the time I need to know the time.
But most people don't buy them because they need them, rather, because they like them.
Why do we buy nice clothes and bags when all we really need is a black tracksuit and a carrier bag?

Yep, I've heard of them. Thanks 👍🏻

What ! 😮 £2.5 K for a watch !
£20 for a watch from Next would do me.
I'm not tight just sensible.

What would annoy me is the expectation of spending a high amount for a particular item. If he said he wanted an item to mark the milestone over an experience, and would let me choose the item (and price range), then I might get him a watch as that would be a real present with the surprise element. Asking for a watch is no different than handing him £1k to buy himself the watch.

Many items are that price. Just because you want him to have an experience so you could also benefit from his gift.

Not nice to be selfish on your husbands 30th! You could easily blow it on a party or weekend away, but not a keep sake gift?

Lighten up 😳 if you can afford it, and he’s a good husband, get the man a watch! I got my husband a nice watch similar price for his 30th bday. He still wears it 14 years later!

Wow. His idea was so selfish. How do you get past that?

Now that's a nerve! If he insists on equal value, the £15k holiday was, depending on children, one-third each for you, him, and kids. £5k max and it won't be a Rolex, DH, sorry.

He's only turning 30 - woop-de-doo, it's really not a 'milestone' birthday in any sense of the word - let him whistle!

This.

Also buying watches can turn into a ladder habit as well. Better to get him the Rolex or Omega or whatever it is he will want after wearing his 1k Hamilton or Longines for a year or two

I'm guessing this is sarcastic?

Sorry misread it. Thought you meant 1k for a watch not 15k!!

I would go as far as to say that you can get an excellent, and extremely accurate and long lasting watch, for even less than £1000. I don't believe that the ones costing thousands of pounds are any 'better' as an actual watch, they are just usually made from more expensive metals - which doesn't actually mean a better made watch, eg if you got one made of mainly solid 22ct gold, it would be far too soft to be capable of coping with daily wear, so it really does become just an article of rarely worn jewelry - but the main draw to the excessively expensive watches is the name of the manufacturer, and the reputation they have.

@DandyReader I think you are being incredibly uncaring and mean about your DH's special birthday. If you are lucky after this one, you may get to spend 4 or 5 more of his larger numbered birthdays with him, so at todays rates you could be setting a precedent of maybe spending another 4 or 5 thousand pounds, which will apparentlybe quite ab easy thing for you to do. UBVU!

"No wonder the bloke is fed up?"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh, the poor man! I had no idea! 😱
Can you link the thread where he's been told to LTB if he doesn't get his watch?