Mixed sex changing rooms?

[Whatschanged]

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

Sorry, didn’t realise that rape is no longer a sex crime.

And if that LC keeps the same design the men who want to sex offend against women and children will flock to join.

Why worry about sneeking into the female space and sticking a camera under the gap when he is provided with a multiple of possible victims in the space he can freely entry.

Basic safeguarding all gaps provide a sex offender with an opening to access a victim.

( And if the disabled space is not single user (even with assistant) occupancy the LC is engaged in unlawful sex and indirect disability discrimination. )

I am sure it would have prevented if ALL MEN were completely banned from that Morrison. What's your point? is that realistic? We have strictly NO MAN supermarkets?

You are not pretending it wouldn't have happen if there was a little cardboard sign at the door, do you? You think someone raping a 10 year old is magically stopped because it's a woman's toilet?

If you think your own child is safe because it's a "woman" space it's frightening and horrible parenting.

single sex spaces for safety and dignity?
in the private cubicle? I already said I am 100% AGAINST communal changing room, regardless of sex and gender.

I think you may be making the mistake of thinking I’m saying that allowing men into the same changing space as women is the same as allowing random members of the public into schools. I’m not. I was dealing very specifically with the point a pp had made, that having men in the same space as women may as well happen because there are already male employees allowed in that space. Employees are different because they can be vetted and risk minimised, whereas members of the public can’t be vetted. My argument is that that particular point made in favour of mixed changing rooms is weak.

The ‘you can’t enforce/police/stop it from happening anyway so let’s make it even EASIER for it to occur’ defence truly blows my mind.

There is no way of adequately vetting. An enhanced disclosure simply means that the male or female subject to one hasn’t been caught doing anything, not that haven’t done anything.

@Differentforgirls

l would ask a member of staff who are trained in bra fitting to assist. It’s just not appropriate for a man to be lingering in the underwear changing rooms, where there are just curtains between girls and women getting their boobs out, and a random bloke!!

AnSolas · Today 12:38
Yep. Tis only proper to punish women for ask not to be subjected to a higher risk of non-contact sex crimes and other harms.

This ^ was in reply to why women only single sex spaces are removed for the crime of objecting to males using them.

AnSolas · Today 14:06
If you and any male decide to use a clearly marked mixed sex area you (if you are female) decide to accept any additional risk which attached. You as an adult are free to make that choice.

Yep totally Godwin’s Law to note that a female has a different risk profile than a male in the same mixed sex space.

Should everybody else reading ignore that?

You wouldn’t be there if her father was her sole carer.

There were also disabled cubicles in the male and female changing rooms. Only one family,/ couple etc could use the separate disabled change. It was locked until they finished their activity and got dressed again.

Very nice. But it still doesn’t explain why you quoted my “I sometimes take mine in with me, and vice versa” and then blathered on about assurances and consent.

Did you get my post mixed up with someone else’s?

I didn’t say vetting is perfect. I think you’re missing my point tbh. The risk from a member of staff who has been interviewed, subject to references, subject to scrutiny in his everyday tasks, as well as vetting, is statistically going to be smaller than from lots of uncontrolled completely random members of the public. Just from a sheer numbers point of view if nothing else.

I disagree. Ian Huntley.

Please try to support you claim.

The personal blame game by attributing your post as being something I posted as a deflection stage.

Please quote where I posted anything to suggest that?

AnSolas · Today 14:36
Dont misquote

AnSolas · Today 13:11
It is women who support sex crimes against women.

It may be easier for you if you explain how you moved from

It is women who support sex crimes against women.

to

Sorry, didn’t realise that rape is no longer a sex crime.

Interesting you mention Huntley. That case directly resulted in increased safeguarding.

You advocate for reduced safeguarding enabling men to have easier access to women and girls.

👍

Try reading the history

PS Your charming little personal insults have been noted.

I think shops should have a ladies, a gents and a mixed changing room, all options available.

Shops won’t do this however I imagine as they won’t want to spend the money.

Done with you now. I don’t know how you manage to live in society tbh. Take care.

Ok. Correct me if I’m wrong. The only people we can trust in changing rooms are the staff?

That’s a personal slur. Think you’ve jumped the shark.

Once a "woman" took great delight in showing me her penis against my wishes in a women's toilet and took pleasure in my disgust and fearfulness.

I get that some men what to be women, but I've never witnessed a women taking pleasure in showing her vagina to other women in the toilets.