Mixed sex changing rooms?

[Whatschanged]

Has something changed in society around changing/fitting rooms in shops or have I just had two unusual incidents? Or am I being ridiculous?!

A couple of weeks ago I was in the adult men’s section of Next with my 13 year old son, he needed to try on some jeans, a very tall but slim lad, so definitely doesn’t fit in the children’s section anymore. Men’s is upstairs with the homeware, women’s and kids downstairs, both floors have changing rooms. He went in to try them on and I waited completely outside by the lifts. While I was waiting an adult woman walked in the changing rooms to try something on, I was quite surprised, and gave her an odd look (very British of me, sorry) but she blanked me. I thought, well it’s not the end of the world but I’d be a bit more shocked at a grown man going in the changing room downstairs next to the women's clothes when my 13 year old daughter was in their alone (I don't have daughters though).

This weekend I was in M&S, women’s and children’s clothing downstairs, and there is a fitting room, women’s underwear and men’s clothing and cafe upstairs, there is a fitting room by the men’s clothes and a fitting room my the women’s underwear. I went in the fitting rooms by the women’s underwear to try some bras on, and there was a lady loitering around the cubicles, when I got in I heard what I presume was a little boys voice, perhaps about 6 years old and a grown mans voice (could have been an older teenager or a fully grown man, I never saw them, but a broken, older mans voice). The ‘man’ was helping the ‘boy’ with the clothes and the woman was outside the cubicle asking how it was going etc. I was really surprised, why wasn’t the grown man with the boy in the men’s changing room? Or why wasn’t the woman (presume mum) in there with him?! I was there with my boobs out, what if I wanted a fitting? M&S has lockable doors but Next it’s just curtains.

So I just thought perhaps something has changed and now people just wonder in whatever fitting room they fancy, or is this a bit weird?

YANBU – men should go in men’s, women in women’s, children that require assistance should go in whatever changing room matches the adult.

YABU – stop being so precious, you’re normally in individual locked cubicles anyway so what on earth does it matter!

Good. Nor do I. I’m not scared of mixed sex changing rooms though.

Extraordinary

So you think the Supreme Court are also in this cult?

You should try it. Wash your clothes at the same time as washing yourself. Saves time and money - would highly recommend

Well that's fantastic for you.

Other women have good reason to want to maintain single sex changing spaces.

You do not get to consent on their behalf. Suggesting they're in a cult for wanting this is a) extraordinary behaviour and b) kinda shitty as some of them will have suffered abuse at the hands of men and will be influenced by that

I was recorded on a phone by a man in a changing room.

Any man who enters a female changing room is showing you who he is.

If you’ve got any doubts about this, grit your teeth and look at the many many vile recordings of women, clearly made covertly, on the world’s biggest porn site.

The normalisation of predatory access to women and girls in changing rooms is sex abuse. Women are expected to put up with it like we are expected to put up with being choked.

Women who normalise this by invading male changing rooms are deeply stupid and irresponsible.

What changing spaces? I avoid the ones where women who are strangers shower naked and think it’s appropriate.

Living a strange life/ cult where we think that the dignity and safety of female people matter.

Right oh.

.

I’m not answering that, because it in no way relates to anything I’ve posted.

Fair enough.

This post is worth repeating.

Most of us don't know men who would do this, but men do do this. It's not all men; but it's only men.

I've heard so many (nice) men say that women generally have no idea about the extent of depravity of some men's drive to sexual entitlement to women's bodies.

goodness me, are you always this obtuse??

You can see what I am trying to say. I would expect the dad to ask for a member of staff to help, seeing that it would be completely inappropriate for him to be in a female underwear changing rooms.

Now do you understand that, or do you need a diagram?

My friend was at a leisure centre and was changing after swimming, she realised after a few moments that a man had put his head through the gap at the bottom to look at her while she was naked/changing

came as a bit of a shock obviously

Yes men, some men, do this but don't kid yourself that women can't be depraved. As a teenager I started work in an old-fashioned department store, think Grace brothers. I was put in the underwear department working for a woman who was a properly trained corsetiere, not like a M&S bra fitter. I was being trained and measured a woman up and went to get some bras. Got back to a stark naked woman inviting me to touch her breasts. Boss went in and had words. It was horrible and I left soon after.

I don’t need a diagram to see that you think fathers are less important than mothers, even to a girl who only has the former. I also don’t need a diagram to show me that you’re comfortable to call women stupid or that you’re a misandrist and a misogynist. Is there any sex you like?

Did he have a tiny head? It was it a massive gap?

Do you have a teenage daughter? I do. Many teenage girls are embarrassed to have mum at a bra fitting, I can't think of many/ any who would want their dad there.

No man should be in women's changing rooms. There is absolutely no need for him to be there.

A bra fitting doesn’t take place in a changing room.

of course it does. Fitting room/ changing room same thing.

Same thing applies about men not needing to be in there.

Most teenage girls would be horrified at the thought of dad going with them.

In fact most decent men object as much as women do to mixed sex toilets/ changing spaces. Decent men understand women's objections to this.

He may well have had a tiny head…but I’m going for the gap being big enough

ive used that leisure centre and the gaps were fairly big, also open at the top so (usually boys rather than men) would climb up and look over the top

Marks near us has cubicles with very big gaps under as well 🤔

That’s a shame for those girls that they feel that way so young. Someone has raised them to feel ashamed of their own bodies.

However, it’s not a changing room. It’s a one to one fitting room with a stranger.

Where is it you live? That sounds horrendous. Is it a thing in your area?

No they have been raised to have boundaries.

Massive difference.