Are we dating the same guy?

[captainturbet]

Been dating a man for a month or so, early days. But been speaking for a few months. He asked if we could be exclusive, which I agreed to.

My friend has sent me a screenshot- his picture has popped up on our local “Are we dating the same guy?” Facebook page. Someone stating they are meeting him next week and asking about him…

He swears he is only dating me, and this must be someone he has previously dated, bitter and out for revenge.

He does have a lot of women commenting on his Facebook posts, being cheeky/calling attractive etc.

AIBU to keep dating him? I’ve no experience with these groups.

In your heart, you know the answer already @captainturbet. Right?

I have used that group - was useful for me.
Some of the posts are clearly women looking for revenge but most are genuine.

Looks like you're determined to believe him. Surely women don't want their fingers burnt again so would rather be forewarned. Why wouldn't it be legitimate.

I don’t think he did.

I would say if it’s a woman posting a pic saying she is meeting him soon and asking for tea it’s unlikely to be a bitter ex.

You can ask your friend to message her to check. I had women do that on those groups and have had really reasonable conversations.

I think, with the added context of his hoards of women fans (!) on his Facebook page that just can’t keep away from him, this is one of those moments you’ll look back on and think either why the actual fuck did I ignore those red flags OR thank goodness I took heed of that warning! His excuse of ‘oh they’re jealous!’ is as old as time, a variation of the ‘they’re crazy!’ story so many men churn out.
I know which side of the fence I’d like to be on.

Of course it's legit.

Many women have been saved the pain of becoming involved with a cheat, abuser etc because of these groups.

Seriously open your eyes but I suspect your determined to see the groups as the problem and not the man your seeing 😏

I’m not determined to believe him- don’t get me wrong we’ve been having a nice time together so far, I’m still getting to know him and do like him in person. He’s been very attentive and put in a lot of effort, which has been refreshing compared to my last few dating situations.

But I have had a bit of an off feeling about his social media… have been trying to tell myself to trust him until he gives me reason not to. He is a decent looking man and has a public profile, but seeing a lot of women commenting all over his posts does make me feel a bit insecure.

Join the group and ask for more info. Sounds like you might be able to dodge a bullet.

He slid into your DM’s on Facebook? lol sorry but what a creep and if you think you’re the only one he’s doing that to you’re very naive. He’s a player.

Join the group - doesn’t matter if it’s private you can still join

So this is his personal FB page they are commenting on? Why don't you look at his followers and following lists if they are not set to private.

This may be a bit of a blunt statement but I tend to think if you have to convince yourself to trust someone, you shouldn’t trust them. Gut feeling is a marvellous thing, in most cases.

I have known someone be vengeful on one of those groups.

I say join the group, message the person and ask her how she's met him. She may even offer screenshots of their convo?

Edited to also add I know of a man who tells people his ex does this from spite and she tells people he borrows money etc. She chose to ignore and then he took her for that ride and asked to borrow money. She then joined one of these groups and saw that the last post on him had MANY comments saying he was a tw@t.

Good luck op

Absolutely this. Also, regardless of if it's true or if it's an ex trying to cause issues, this man comes with a lot of drama. Nobody needs or shouöd want that.

If he messaged you out the blue how many other people does he message out the blue? You're naive at best if you don't think he does that.

Sounds like this other woman is telling the truth tbh.

He sounds like a player - attentive at first to reel you in then you know whats coming.

This itself should ring alarm bells for you. You didn’t know him yet he contacted you through Facebook. The same Facebook that you say he has a stream of random women commenting on his stuff calling him attractive and being “cheeky” 🤢

He obviously spends his time messaging random women and seeing which one will bite and message back.

He sounds immature and a player. Women wouldn’t be uploading his info to these sites for no reason. Believe the evidence you’ve seen an throw this loser back.

Mandy Rice Davies not Christine Keeler.

How do you get “chatting through Facebook”?

Mea culpa!

He's def dating around because a genuine answer would be "who is it saying that we're meeting up?" Not "whoever it is must be cray cray".

Attnetive... calling other women malicious and crazy. Walking red flag.
.

Look forward to seeing your future posts when you're blind sighted by his cheating OP.

You shouldn't have told him - just arranged to meet that day and see if he had an excuse...

Please be careful of yourself.

Message the person and ask for evidence of recent texts between them. It's that simple.

She did raise a few chuckles in the court room!