HH income of £250k but we don’t feel rich?

[Bdrgvlugcbu]

Not a brag in the slightest! And wouldn’t discuss this non-anonymously.

DH earns just over £250k per year. Has fallen into the role really and is based on natural ability/talent as oppose to lots of hard work and training. He works very long hours though. I’m a SAHM to 3 young children.

Take home is approx £12k per month.

School fees: £3,000 per month
Mortgage, car and bills: £3500 per month
Personal savings £2000 per month
Kids savings: £450 per month
DH and I take: £500 personal money each per month
Leaves us with £2,000 per month for general spending, food shopping, days out, holidays, children’s clothes…

We don’t really go without, but we don’t feel “well off” by any means. Where are we going wrong?!

It would get you a lot more than that if you didn’t save so much, spend on fees or whatever your £2000 for expenses is more than I get each month, for a start.

You do have lots of money left over, and you know it. You are choosing to spend £3k on school fees, and you're still managing to save £2k a month. That's £5k you had 'left over' and you have allocated it. Stop being ridiculous.

DH has been self employed for a very long time and didn’t pay into a pension. He earned approx £180k per year for 15 years. He now has a job paying £250k and has only been paying into a pension for 2 years.
We have less than £120k in pensions between us. We are late 30s.

You sound it. It's not normal to moan about not having enough money when you're on 250k a year. Something's going on. Figure out what it is because this is ridiculous.

Statutory contributions would be less than £4k per year roughly at £250k, so not a huge amount.

Get some financial advice.

Also look for your value and worth outside of what material possessions you own.

Just wondering how short of irony/insight OP is off a tattle gotcha post? The mumsnet thread over there is an absolute thing of beauty. If this is not one of you, then it should be x

I’m not whinging. We have a lovely life. But it doesn’t feel massively different to friends who have smaller incomes.

ITS A WIND UP
EVERYONE

Op has zero other posts apart from this thread.

Where you’ve gone wrong is asking mumsnet. I would seek wealth management advice from a professional accountant/ wealth advisor.

Na, if you grew up incredibly poor then you would understand how wealthy you are now.
I grew up extremely poor, my household income now is around £150k and I feel utterly rolling in it tbh. I don’t believe this is genuine

Send your kids down the mine. Why are they at school when they could be earning? You're probably feeding them meat as well aren't you? Don't do that, children survive best on a diet of potatoes and pond water. Get them up before they go to bed, hand them a piping hot jacket potato and send them on their way to local pit. Where do you live? Hope you're not down South, it'll be a long walk for them, but that can't be helped. Now, while I think about it, they'll be so busy they won't need bedrooms, a drawer each should suffice. Now you'll have three spare rooms available to take in lodgers.

Why do you have a cleaner if you’re a SAHM?

Why does your DH save £2k a month from his post-tax income for retirement when he could put it into a pension and get tax relief on it? That makes no sense.

But you do if theuri costing you what £3000pcm?

To put context my mortgage is £450.... Our bills total around £1000 including the car....

And we definitely don't have another £3000 for school fees, or £500 pocket money each...

We coud maybe stretch to £45 a month for kids savings... £450 is a lot

@Lonelycrab
MN don’t believe it to be a windup.

You're a SAHM earning nothing, with at least one child in school, but don't do your own ironing or cleaning and complain you don't feel rich enough!

If I was your husband, I'd want your contribution to either income or domestic chores to increase.

Have you ever considered how much of a drain on household income that you are?

The solution here lies a lot with you.

I’ve name changed.

Ditch those mates and find some friends in minimum wage jobs then you can lord it over them.

Must be entirely genuine then of course

Dh earns similar and we don’t want for anything but I didn’t think we could afford to send our three kids to private school without seriously giving up a comfortable lifestyle. That seems like your biggest cost. Most of our money goes on our house ( big mortgage, recent extension) , holidays nothing amazing; campsites in France, a week in the sun and a couple of city breaks, and kids extracurricular activities.

The only people that can afford private school these days are those with family money or the super wealthy.

It sounds like you feel financially insecure. If your DH just fell into a £250k role you probably aren’t confident he could get another similar paying role of something went wrong in this role. The problem seems to be that you have raised your lifestyle up to your perceived wealth without making sure you have savings to cushion you if something went wrong.

If your mortgage is over £2.5k you likely owe about £5-600k. That’s a big debt to be servicing. If you want 6 mths essential expenses - mortgage, bills, school fees and food as a rainy day fund you need over £50k. Presumably that’s why you are saving hard instead of making additional voluntary contributions to your DHs pension which would come out of pre tax earnings?

I think you're just used to having money.

You're saving £2000 per month and have spending of £500 each after bills. That means your disposable income is £3000 a month and you have room
In your budget for days out and holidays.

That's what well off looks like. You are well off.

To put it into context I earn just £1000 more than my mortgage payments. I only have savings for Xmas due to a tax rebate. I have 3 kids. I have not been on a holiday other than camping for about 5 years.

I'm coming from a place of understanding. I used to be far better off and weekly takeaways, days out and holidays felt just like things everyone did.

They're not though. Only if you're well off.

Because you are putting £2500+ away in savings and not spending it each month....

@Lonelycrab
It was hidden and then reinstated
I

It is genuine. I have no reason to make this up on an anonymous forum.

2k a month in savings. 🤐
Get a grip.