Been bought a very expensive present I don't want and can't return

[Gresley]

After not speaking to me for 25 years, my sister has recently become very friendly with me again for no apparent reason, and for Christmas ordered me a new electric bike online. The parcel was gigantic so impossible to return. I didn't desperately want an electric bike and had said I would buy a secondhand one to see how I got on, but she sprang this surprise on me. Now that I've tried it I find I really can't get on with it (my arse was in agony) and don't want it. Should I (a) sell it? I've been offered just over a third of the original price by a local dealer;(b) give it to someone else? In both of those cases, should I (c) pretend I've still got it or be honest about getting rid of it, and even offer to pay back the money she paid for it? Or (d) keep it and leave it to rot in the shed and send her AI photos of all the lovely places I've been on it (not that I'd know how to use AI)? I think that If she knew I'd got rid of it she wouldn't speak to me for another 25 years.

Could you try a different saddle first, maybe a more padded one, and see if that makes a difference?

Use it a few times over the summer - send photos. If you still don’t like it sell it then

Buy a new seat for it.

Try changing the saddle. My bike cut me in half until I got a lovely wide cushioned saddle for it.

YANBU to not want the OTT surprise present but if you’re inclined to use it, try the nicer saddle.

Also padded shorts? I know youve been to a dealer but they’re looking for a bargain. I’d try and find a solution first - if you emailed a local bike shop they’d have ideas?

Yes try a different saddle and ask the shop if there's anything else they can do to adapt it to make it more comfortable for you.

If you were thinking of getting a second hand one you must be interested in them as a concept?

I find my arse hurts if I haven't ridden my bike for a long time, then it toughens up after a few rides. I would give it a few more tries before selling.

Keep it. I got a large memory foam saddle for mine that is like sitting on a feather cushion. Also make sure its the right height. The wrong height will make everything hurt.

I’ll have it 🙋🏽‍♀️

just kidding… agree with others. Try a different saddle but if you haven’t been cycling in ages your bum is gonna hurt.

It takes a while for the bum to toughen up and sometimes you need to change the seat

Just buy a padded saddle cover

I'd say both the new saddle and the "give it a few times" because your arse sort of gets used to it. I do love my electric bike though so I'm somewhat biased.

You say you didn't desperately want one and told her you would buy a second hand one?

That sounds like you in fact did want one? It sounds like a present she thought you would like, given that you'd talked about buying one second hand so a generous gift not someone just thrusting an unwanted expensive present on you. I would try it a few more times before selling/giving away. Bike saddles always hurt the arse the first few times.

There is a learning curve with these things - your arse will hurt initially then it won’t
like when you start the gym and your in agony after 😂

And def don't sell it. Return it to your sister letting her know it didn't work out.

We are keen cyclists and both DH and I do get a bit of a sore undercarriage the first time we get back on the bike after any kind of break….and that’s with properly fitted high quality saddles…and we do a lot of distance. After a very short time it passes. It does take a bit of time to develop a bit of saddle conditioning. If you did fancy an electric bike I definitely wouldn’t let feeling a bit saddle sore put you off.

Bigger, padded saddles don’t necessarily mean more comfort. Your weight should be on your sit bones….and a good saddle will support you and minimise pressure on the fleshy parts that are in contact with the bike. A lot of bikes come with pretty generic saddles. A good women’s specific saddle will work wonders. It’s really important to get the height of your saddle right as well and for the bike to fit you. Your weight needs to be properly distributed over all your points of contact including your hands and feet.

Why not take it to a decent local bike shop, ask them to help you with the fit and saddle. If you still didn’t get on with it after giving it a real go then you could still sell it or give it away. You might discover something brilliant….and you’ve not really got much to lose. I hope it works out for you one way or the other!

Keep it, and keep on trying to get used to it. Anyone would have an achy bum cycling for the first time in a while.

You did want an electric bike, and you told your sister this. Now you have one. At least give it a year to see if it can be a positive thing in your life - apart from anything else, the spring and summer will be a much better time to try it out properly.

25 years out of contact, and then a hugely generous gesture! Do you really want to compromise your newfound relationship by spurning a gift? If you do, it is surely your relationship with your sister that would explain your coldness, not an achy bottom.

There’s got to be more it than this as you seem desperate to get rid of something you were willing to buy second hand before you’ve even mentioned making adjustments to it or change the seat or what you wear. Are you wanting to get rid of it to prove a point?

How long did you try it for?

You need to buy a saddle designed for women. They are wider and more padded.

Why did you stop speaking to each other and how much do you care if you fell out with her over this?

I echo what PPs have said, to give it more time.

Most people enjoy riding a bike and sometimes you just need to get used to it/get a comfy seat etc.

You are so ungrateful OP. Unreal.

I can't return it to my sister because she lives abroad.

give it more time and get a new saddle or padding.

Can you get a different saddle?