Been bought a very expensive present I don't want and can't return

[Gresley]

After not speaking to me for 25 years, my sister has recently become very friendly with me again for no apparent reason, and for Christmas ordered me a new electric bike online. The parcel was gigantic so impossible to return. I didn't desperately want an electric bike and had said I would buy a secondhand one to see how I got on, but she sprang this surprise on me. Now that I've tried it I find I really can't get on with it (my arse was in agony) and don't want it. Should I (a) sell it? I've been offered just over a third of the original price by a local dealer;(b) give it to someone else? In both of those cases, should I (c) pretend I've still got it or be honest about getting rid of it, and even offer to pay back the money she paid for it? Or (d) keep it and leave it to rot in the shed and send her AI photos of all the lovely places I've been on it (not that I'd know how to use AI)? I think that If she knew I'd got rid of it she wouldn't speak to me for another 25 years.

This.

i would always want an expensive unwanted gift returned back to me

But she lives overseas so returning it isn't an option.

Try adjusting the height of the saddle - worked for me.

This.

Then try a few short trips and build up. Then make a plan. It could be great and I wouldn’t want to risk another quarter century fall out.

Brooks saddles are amazing and mould to your bum shape

This is a very perceptive and measured response

@Gresley use the bike or don't use the bike, your sister isn't going to know or care.

She bought you a present, either to make herself feel better, or (possibly) in an attempt to build bridges with you. Who knows.

Contact her. Or don't. Whatever you decide will be right for you. You need to stop agonising and think about what it is that you want to do (about your sister, not the bloody bike)

Would a second gas be not have been prone to theft? She listened to you and tried to do the right thing, I believe.

Sell it, but give the money to charity, in my opinion.

Perseverance!

I haven’t read the thread in full.I don’t think you have any obligation to keep the bike. I’d sell it and say you couldnt’t get on with it.

Definitely a padded saddle (I think they do one specifically for women) also padded shorts.

I would keep the bike and try it a few more times at least before making a decision as you may just not be used to it and with a new saddle might find you like it after all. But if it doesn't work out you could sell it or do what you want, since you say you'll never see her, so she won't know anyway.

Sell it to the dealer and tell her it was stolen.

We had to put new saddles on both DH and my e bikes as otherwise they were unusable. Having done that, we also put additional lights on so we could see/be seen.

My suggestion would be to try a different saddle - ask at your bike shop. Give it a few more tries and see how you get on. Then, if it’s really not for you, be honest with your sister. She may tell you to give it away/sell it/chuck it in the recycling! At least that way, you will have a clear conscience.

Don’t return the gift to your sister, I would be incredibly hurt by this. Get a new saddle and make the bike work for you. Keep the bike a few years and then sell it if you must

Does "for no apparent reason" include any inheritance that will be coming up in the foreseeable future?

TBH you can buy a saddle - a good one, chain, lock and helmet from Lidl for very little money when they have their bike week - its when I got mine for my Ebike who's saddle near cut me in half !!

Look I get sisters that fall out , I have with my big sister. We did for a short while and when we finally met again, I treated her to a ring that she loved and couldn't afford. To me, it was a birthday and Christmas pressie for the years I missed , we too live in different countries, she's never visited , claims a fear of flying yet I know for sure she takes long haul to see husbands family

We have fallen out again since the ring and you know I dont regret buying it At that time I could afford it, she couldn't

Obviously I cant be sure , but I believe your sister thought she was sending an olive branch

do you have somewhere to store it?
if so, rather than ditching it straight away, why not wait a month or two and then try riding it, off-road if necessary?
it's good that you already have a decent bike lock.
you don't need to spend money on accessories like panniers and a helmet.

if you then decide to sell it, you could do a lot better than the 30% being offered by a dealer. if it's a decent European make (eg with a Bosch motor) the resale price might actually rise over the next year or two rather than depreciating (as it's more expensive than ever to import bikes, batteries and parts from the EU)

I have had an e bike for a couple of years. Absolutely
love love it. Agree with advice look at changing saddle, but it takes a while for your bum to get worn in. They are a change from’ usual’ bikes……but I can cycle longer distances and tackle hills that I wouldn’t have dreamed of before. Give it six months until,spring and summer and then decide….

Don’t go so far on it. Ride for a shorter time. You will soon love it. Also, gel pants 👌

I've cycled across France three times from the channel to the Mediterranean on an ordinary bike. I bought a different saddle for that, but I have precious little in my savings and don't want to spend it on this.

You were going to buy a second hand bike, to ride where if you dont like going on roads?

If you have traffic free routes near you (as I dont cycle on roads either), use that

You say you dont have svings for a different saddle but you would have paid what exactly for a second hand one 500 quid for the bike? Then the helmet and panniers which you would have bought on top as well?

So she has saved you a fortune, a helmet and panniers isnt that much. you can get an inexpensive padded saddle, thats what I have as I cant get on with these awful saddles on bikes.

Thanks to everyone who has taken the trouble to comment. I agree, it is not about the bike, it's about the relationship. I wanted to try an electric bike and had the money to buy one myself and take the risk that I didn't get on with it. But without giving me the chance to say no, she bought one for me. She is very well off and I guess thought I was poor (I always have been). I felt patronised, treated as the poor relation, and I felt as if she was trying to buy me off and get back in my good books after 25 years of not speaking to me. The 180 degree turn came mid-2025 when she contributed handsomely to a gofundme. I felt quite annoyed then because she paid most of what I was asking, so my real friends didn't get the chance. I feel like she's a stranger now after all these years, and yes, I do resent all those Christmases I spent alone without as much as a card.As for the bike, I don't want to hurt her feelings by getting rid of it and telling her. But I really can't be bothered with it. I recently gave up my car because driving was terrifying me with the way people drive now. I would feel very vulnerable on a bike knowing what it feels like to have to overtake in a car. I think I would feel very guilty if I sold the bike now or gave it away, so maybe I'll store it in the shed for a while until I calm down and can look at things more rationally.

I'm saying YABU I rode an electric bike at a bike hire place. Was the best bike I've ever rode. It was all on flat ground though as others have said try some different saddles on it first before doing anything drastic. You might learn to love it.

Exactly this. Do not sell the bike. The relationship is worth more. It would be so offensive to sell an expensive gift for a fraction of the money thar was paid for it. And just after Christmas too. It would be incredibly rude and ungrateful to spurn your sister and her generous gesture in this way.

It’s a lovely gift and unless you want to not speak to her for the next 25 years I’d keep it and try to buy new seat. I think she woukd be offended you sold in mid January . At least try one summer